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Molested all over again
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An_252732 posted:
I moved 3000 miles away from my own family, husband and 16 yr old daughter approx. 4 months ago to help care for my 79 yr old Mother who has stage 3 ovarian cancer and 81 yr old Father. I was sexually molested and more from the age of 5 by my Moms dad and then by other family members on Dads side. I thought I had gotten over most of it until I got here and feel like I'm in the "bermuda triangle". My father actually still talks to people he knows hurt me even though I asked him years ago not to, that it hurts my feelings. Now I find out that my own father is up all night going to porn sites that are border line illegal, seriously, rapes, teens, animals etc. (sorry not just porn). My daughter opened a window he hadn't closed the other day and saw it herself and it was the middle of the day!!! I went nuts and feel like I'm going nuts. I'm so depressed I want to die. I feel like I'm 5 again. I'm stuck here and have no where to go. My daughter left and husband left to look for work. I stuck here alone and in pain again. I stopped my life to help them and I feel like someone just ripped the bandage off a hemoraghing wound.

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niteflier responded:
Hello An_252732, your daughter is your primary concern, yes, over your mother. It is harsh, but I know you do not want her to go through what you did. She is at a vulnerable age. I hope she is Not with other family members on either side of your family. I could be wrong, but you may have blocked out memories of your father molesting you or ' allowing' others to. PROTECT YOUR DAUGHTER first. we're you the only child? You father looking at the sites you describe leads me to believe he is a predator as well - especially if he associates with your molesters as if nothing happened to you....no father who loves their child would be protective and sign restraining orders (unfortunately it is only a piece of paper-and most predators do not care about that). I say leave them, take your mom if you can, if you can not, she should dnderstand and tell you to go so you and your daughter can be safe. I do not know how supportive she was when she was told of the abuse.
You have been thru enough and if you have restraining orders out on your abusers - please remember it is only a piece of paper and you and your daughter are in danger.
It makes me sick so many pedafiles cannot be caught. Family protects them due to embarrassment (a guess) and their close friends are most likely pedifiles themselves.
I hope this helps. I can't say it enough 'protect' you and your daughter (think 3 steps ahead of the pedifiles in an associated with the environment you are currently in. Also let your husband know your concerns. If you haven't told him, now is the time.
Take care and please let us know how u r doing. (Keep emergency numbers and cell phone close at ALL times.
Niteflier

Perhaps the Animal Spirit is so great that one day it may inspire compassion in the human heart. Nan Sea Love

 
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CBR73 responded:
It sounds like you need to leave to take care of yourself.
 
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rohvannyn replied to CBR73's response:
Duty is important but taking care of yourself and your daughter is too. Is there a way you can possibly get help from an eldercare organization for your mother? A father who still associates with the people who molested his daughter, is showing that he doesn't care about what they did. If my own father found that someone had molested me, the only association he would have with them would be either legal or violent. He would count them an enemy because they had harmed his own daughter.

It's important to find help for your mom, but do what you can to protect yourself and your own daughter. My heart goes out to you.


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