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Depression/Anxiety What more to do?
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An_253455 posted:
I'm a 66 year old woman who, over the last 10 years, has dealt with and struggled with most of the major life stressors - some more than once - with the result of an actual diagnosis of PTSD.

Divorce, sole caretaker for both parents who have died, with me as executor of both wills, funeral arrangements, deeply wounding and unexplained and unexpected attacks from my daughter-in-law, major flood damage to the family home, in which i was still living alone, followed by 7 months of contractors in the house, repairing and rebuilding, a car accident that totaled my car but left me untouched! A new relationship that resulted in my selling the newly refurbished family home and moving to a new state with him, only to have it fall apart 2 years later, a house purchase and another move, trying to keep up/grow my design business through all this, and then two major surgeries to correct new problems on my polio-damaged right foot, the first of which seemed successful, the second very problematic.

It was during the incapacitation and isolation because of the surgeries that i lost half of my business, and began the slide into this hopelessness and constant anxiety. Then my 94 year old aunt died, and I did my best to handle her funeral and estate.

I've been working on this ( or not...) for two years now with a therapist and brief visits with a psychiatrist who prescribes meds, with no success in sight. I live alone in a relatively new area, and have no family or friends nearby (my fault - I've been unable to summon the will, confidence or motivation to do something about it). I have one close, long term friend who has problems of her own, and who lives an hour away. We have tried to support each other, but the debilitating depression and serious anxiety remains.

Which is why I'm lying in bed on this beautiful late summer day, unable to function any more. Except, obviously, to continue to try and find some new answer/outlet/support that might help. I've become someone I don't recognize and find pathetic. Looking for some new kind of help to get a life again.
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kbriann responded:
Hi. I am sorry your going through all of this. I don't know if your a christian, but Jesus can and will love you through this. He died for all of your sins and the free gift of salvation is yours if you ask him to be lord of your life and repent of all your sins. Please don't give up. I will pray for you and I know good things are ahead for you. God bless you!
 
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itmatsb responded:
It sounds like you need to still find the right anti-depressant and perhaps an anti-anxiety medication as well. You don't say what your PTSD was from, but otherwise you have the usual events in one's life--parents dying, an accident which you were very fortunate not to be hurt at all, and a relationship that didn't work out. But you did have a new relationship at your age which is a miracle in itself. And to still have had a design business at your age is also a great thing. Many people are retired at your age. There's no reason why you can't keep at your design business. You sold the family home which is too bad, but you must have gotten a fair sum for it. Many at your age are very poor, especially those with severe medical problems. As far as your daughter-in-law, you just have to put boundaries up and stop the communication with someone who is destructive to you.

Yes as we get older, many of us have significant medical problems. It sounds like with only your foot not working well, that is not a lot to deal with at your age. In many ways you are very fortunate.

I had a major stroke at age 56 and am now 60 years old. I am barely able to function due the stroke causing me 24/7 migraines. I have a lot of other major medical problems. My mother died over a year ago. I had to visit her almost every day for 2 years while she was in hospice even though I could barely function. Then I was the executor of her estate also. Yes, it was a lot of work. Perhaps you are not able to count your blessings right now due to a chemical depression, but if you can get that treated, then perhaps you will see how much you have to be grateful for. That's the position that I have finally come to, but with the help of an anti-depressant. Before that I was nearly suicidal at having no life and being in severe pain almost every day. Also I had to take Klonopin (an anti-anxiety med) for a condition caused by my stroke of involuntary jerking called myoclonus. I hadn't realized how my constant low level anxiety with flares of major anxiety were hurting me. Due to my pain, I cannot travel for more than 1.5 hours away. I can go out socially very seldom. I can barely do any errands other than to get all my meds, get groceries and go to many medical appointments. But I could be so much worse. I can talk, eat, and walk, which I very nearly would not have been able to with the stroke that I had.. I'm still in a lot of pain and am currently looking at 2 surgeries.

I think that your main problem is the depression and anxiety. Perhaps you could move either closer to your close friend or closer to your family. What is stopping you, except your depression and anxiety which is sapping your energy. It doesn't sound like the therapy has helped you at all which implies that you have a chemical imbalance and need the right anti-depressant. I do wish you the best with getting those treated.


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