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At a loss
semed posted:
Recently my daughter allowed my ex-daughter-in-law to temporarily move in with her family and I. We did this cuz she was being mentally abused in front of her children by her mom. It was done for the kids, nothing else. Since then we have been lied to, taken advantage of, and in general disrespected. The situation is getting unbearable. She has an appointment set up to get state assisted housing.

Tonight all hell broke loose between my daughter, son-in-law, ang their children. The disrespect is rearing its ugly head within us. I can't help but get the feeling that we aren't going to last as a family much longer. Kids or no, are family is hurting each other and ourselves. I know I cannot control the situation, but other than kicking them out and making an enemy of my son, I just don't know how to help. I'm trying to talk to my grandchildren, 7 & 10, to help them understand why mommy is so mad and trying to get my daughter to understand who is the 'devil' in all of this is. I know I'm not up against a wall, but I'm starting to lose hope and that has never happened to me before. I'm depressed over many things in my life, yet I don't want us to fail as a family. We all hurt! AND that all by itself is depressing. I just got back on meds and have a tenuous hold on my sanity at best.

I just need to be reassured that this will get better--that I'm not fighting fruitlessly.

Your prayers and good wishes are needed desperately.
rohvannyn responded:
Your first allegiance is to your own family. I'm sure you already did this, and it sounds like she's being difficult, but this daughter in law is showing very poor gratitude by treating your family like this. She needs to understand that either she acts like an adult or she's not going to get any help. I wish you the best... stay strong.
semed replied to rohvannyn's response:
She will be moving soon. It seems like it can't be soon enough. My daughter and I talked and we have decided that it is going to be an extreme emergency before we open our home again. We're looking forward to having her kids, husband, herself, and I in the home. We are doing for ourselves and we feel it will be a welcome relief.

I don't think she will ever grow up. She whines all the time about pain and needing narcotics. I think she just feels the need to be the center of attention; and it irritates us no end. We are trying to stay adults, but she could test the patience of a saint. It's hard to remain calm and rational. The serenity poem stays in my mind and God is not going to give us more than we can handle. We are survivors so we will be okay. Time is on our side.

Thank you for your message. It's nice to know that someone understands.

We WILL survive and be the better for it.

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