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Coming out of depression
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Jennifer1784 posted:
For the last year I have been battling a deep depression. In the recent months I have started meds and have been coming out of my depression. Sadly, it effected my fiance badly. I was hurtful, distant.. I couldn't give him what he needed and wasn't able to listen to him when he said something was wrong. Before I started my meds his feelings for me had changed, he said he wasn't in love with me anymore, but still loved me. Since I started my meds, I have done a total 180 on how I am acting and feeling. I'm happy and loving and all I want to do is express it to him. He now finds it overwhelming because he is not used to it, and says I come on too strong. I told him that I have been letting out a years worth emotions and all I am trying to do is make up for what I put him through and show him how much I love him. He now has little panic attacks when I am "overwhelming" him. I personally thing he just needs to take time to get used to me this way, the real me. He has been battling for the last two weeks about ending things... 1. because he doesn't feel what he once felt and doesn't feel it will come back. 2. because he thinks that he will be sitting there waiting for the other shoe to drop and things will get bad again. I believe that with communication, patience, time and work, these wounds can be healed and we can be what we once were. Also, that he will fall in love again. I honestly believe with all my heart that we are supposed to be together, and I am trying everything I can to keep him from throwing away what we have based on the last year of depression. I know he doesn't blame me for what was wrong. But he resents the situation and resents the fact that it took medication to help me and that he couldn't. He is angry that I didn't seem them sooner... only after he was "on his way" out of the relationship. He had his mind made up months ago about us, then there was a death in the family and things changed for awhile. And the feelings of leaving me came back. He is afraid that those feelings will come back. He knows that we can have what we once had, but for how long? What do I do? We are currently on a break from "us" so he can have time to clear his mind and see what he wants. He said that he needs time away so he can find what he once felt and clear his mind... How do I show him that things can be fixed in time if we both work on them? I feel that he needs to be around me to see what I am like now and see how that makes him feel. Please help! I am desperate to fix my relationship.
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