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Couples with depression
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Kath67 posted:
I have been dealing with major chronic depression for years. It was probably undiagnosed in high school, finally did something about it in my 30s. I have been taking medication and seeing a counselor for well over 10 years now. I try to do things that are healthy. Eat right, avoid alcohol. I don't excercise enough but try to at least go walking. I've also been diagnosed with anxiety and panic attacks and am getting those under control as well.

My husband was diagnosed with depression a while back. I actually thought he had suffered some damage from a concussion and insisted he get things checked out. The neuro-psychiatrist said his cognitive functions were fine, but he had depression. He briefly went to counseling and took medication - wellbutrin, which he said he felt no side effects from, but also said he didn't notice a difference in behavior. Well everyone else noticed a difference in behavior! He was able to focus and complete household tasks, was much less irratable, less argumentative. Even his conversations which had been like trying to talk to a three year old with adhd were much easier to follow.

He stopped taking them. I threatened divorce. He took them again for a while (again, night and day in behavior) but stopped again. Now he has a beer when he's stressed. I know one beer does not an alcoholic make, but it's a pattern and alcoholism runs in his family. he's back to doing little around the house, though is always available for his elderly mother to paint her house and do her grocery shopping.

I'm at a loss. I can't make him get help. I can't make him take his medication. But when he doesn't, my stress levels go up and I need more. I've tried to have that conversation with him, both gently and not-so-gently. We've done couples counseling which helped for a while, but that was when he was also doing his own counseling and taking his meds.

I'm at a loss. He's not a bad person, but I fnd more and more I don't want to be around him because he brings out the worst in me, and since he doesn't help around the house much I feel I may as well be alone.
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