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    Seriously need some help... depression or?
    An_253952 posted:
    I feel like im going crazy honestly. And I feel stupid for even getting on this and asking for help. But I really don't know what else to do. OK first off I think I may be depresses. Ive been avoiding this for a while, but looking back I used to be so happy, funny laughing all the time. And always the glass half full kind of person. Until two years ago, my mom got diagnosed with cancer. My world changed, and I slowly started getting more and more angry. Well we just lost her this past feb after fighting those two years.And losing her was not expected by any of us.

    Now right before her passing I was on my feet, I may have just been 21 but I was doing so good. I had a decent paying job, and I was working my way up fast. Had my own place, supporting me and my best friend. Car payment... the works. Then once she passed, I went out of control. lost my job, my vehicle, went full blown alcoholic and didn't even care even attempted suicide. NOthing mattered.

    Now im back on my feet trying to be happy. but its still holding me back I sleep more rhen 10 hrs a night and even when I get less or more im always so worn out. I never want to do anything, I fake being happy all the time im always nervous or anxious crying all the time, literally every night I think if I just had a gun I could end it? but I thankfully haven't gone that far I know I need help but I don't know if im just going crazy or what and I cant afford to go to the doctor to get diagnosed I just feel lost...
    momuv4girls responded:
    Your local County may have services to help you - - have you checked that out ??
    Many offer low cost clinics, where you could see a Dr. for a sliding scale.

    I would also contact your local NAMI for referrals.

    Take care, there is help out there!
    rohvannyn responded:
    It sounds pretty tough, going through what you have gone through, even without depression on top of it all. Just the stress of adult life can be difficult to adapt to, frightening even. But then with the added stress of losing your mother, it's easy to see how it would feel unbearable.

    There definitely is hope. While you are looking for a low cost counselor, I suggest you begin looking for online resources about getting in touch with your emotions and dealing with grief. There are also good resources on depression out there. I know things are very hard right now but there's always something you can do.

    Also, remember this: somewhere, deep down, you don't want to die. You know there is hope, but it might be too frightening or uncertain to pursue. I've been there. That's how it is for me sometimes. But you as a person deserve to live and deserve to be happy. Any help is better than none.

    If you can find the will to do something, anything to help yourself, good places to start are nutrition and moderate exercise. Cut junk food out completely if you can. Your body and your mind will NOT work right if they aren't getting the right nutrients. I'm not talking about expensive supplements, or miracle cures, I'm just talking about it like a car running on gas without water or dirt in the lines.

    All my best to you.
    stefff responded:
    what to say to that. my mother passed away when i was 19yrs unexpectedly like yourself. she was diagnosed with breast cancer 2001. it went it came bk she had chemo and it went. then suddenly with no warning it had spread to the liver, she told no one. she sent me on holiday with my best friend i thought nothing of it, she died 24hrs after i got off the plane. I spent the last hours by her side i watched it all i watched her die. I'm 28yrs old now and my life has never been the same. I ws accepted at uni the month before she died i managed to stay until jan i left and never went bk. i lost my job i started drinking i admitted myself to hospital i was given antidepressants ive been on them since, i cant go into full time work ive been in and out of jobs since. i havent been able to work for yrs due to the stress anxiety depression. i.m now on anxiety meds with help and stop the panic attacks i take sleeping tabs. I was the most happy ,go lucky person i knew i loved life and my friends. i lost them and apart from broken relationships i am alone with my thoughts. I live with my granma and my aunt who also developed cancer a few yrs after. but after the op she is ok now. but she had suffered with ill health since she was born. my mother took care of her and now i do and she me she tries. she suffers from depression sickness vomiting etc. i have seen it all and been voken uop at 5am in the morning by her thinking she is having a heart attach i have been in this situation so often now that i dont even flinch at her cries of feeling suicidal in the past. i have all the symptoms of depression and this yr i decided to add mild form of schizophrenia. as in hearing voices due to the anxiety and stress. i dont have that, noe its past with the meds. i suggest lyrica for the anxiety and it also helps with depression as it stops the cries of madness as i call them. gone clubbing alone, got myself into harmful situations and changed as a person completely. reading is vital if you can concentrate, psychology, philosophy anything that will help u try to make sense off all the crap that has happed. i cant even do that at present, im not working i do nothing all day but cry and hope and take lyrica to help my mood and thats how im able to write this to you. i have great moments of hope and joy working and going out and trying to live a normal life. it can happen there will always be ups a nd downs you have to accept that, but you can change your reaction to it by going out reading, doing anything is better than nothing and being alone. x
    stefff responded:
    with regards to seeing a doctor your gp is the person to see. they will pass ur info onto the nhs psychiatry team and they will then contact you it can take up to 6months to be seen but u must stress the urgency to your gp he must know all the facts with regards to the suicidal tendencies etc. i suggest antidepressants for now and something for the anxiety. you cant go it don't do enough you must be the one to push always until u receive the help you need.x

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