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    feeling awfull
    avatar
    Alissian posted:
    want to give up today. I feel awful physically and mentally...emotionally. I feel like life is just to hard. I have made a mess of my life with help from fate and circumstances. I am not going to take the blame for thengs I cannot control!! I did the best I could under the circumstances in the past and doing the best I can now. I don't know why I am posting other than just to vent. Feel so very alone and miserable...unable to change anything it seems. I know I have to try. it took allot just to get out of bed and wash eat dress and come to the library here. My head and body hurts. My heart is sad. My brain is screwed...unable to focus or concentrate. Have no ins or money to fix IT:( very TIRED OF STRUGGLING!!! unable TO GET ALMOST ANYTHING ACCOPMLISHED. gOD IF YOU ARE REAL please help me. I AM FALLING APART. PLEASE.
    Reply
     
    avatar
    mimi0555 responded:
    Please know you are not alone. I was diagnosed with Borderline ten years ago. Sometimes I just lose it and start shouting and slamming doors. I feel like no one understands the hell I constantly live with in my mind. Like you, I am struggling just to get dressed in the morning. Either I am mad and angry and not talking to my family, or they are "the best family in the world". I sometimes feel like I have two separate personalities-like Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde-a and I can easily switch personalities. It scares me because I feel I don't have any control over when this will happen. Medications help and I see a psychiatrist once a month but life is a constant struggle and I have very low, if any, self esteem.
    Please feel free to talk to me at any time. I have had a lot of therapy for Borderline, specifically DBT, and it helpsme a lot IF I am rational enough to use the coping techniques when I need to. When people see me acting "normal", Its me using many of the techniques I've learned. Every day is a struggle and usually a new argument with a family member. Having Borderline is exhausting, and I have also been diagnosed with OCD, Major anxiety and Depression, an eating disorder, and suffer from panic attacks.
    I understand how miserable you are. Feel free to "vent" to me at any time. I am here for you.


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