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    how do i get my life together?
    eulogyofamessiah posted:
    Hello, im having a very difficult time in my life right now. im almost 19 just to let you know. i was just wanting some options on how to deal with my situation in life right now. for starters, im pretty overweight im 5ft 10" and 326lbs. im diagnosed with depression and social anxiety. my mother and father split up when i was 14 and since then whats left of our family is in a pretty poor state financially. our diet pretty much consists of cokes, chips and reheatable foods. im unemployed at the moment, due in most part to my depression and social anxiety. i can make the decision to know i need to work and want to but there really arent many jobs here in this small town. the ones that are available are busy places that all require you to utilize all of the positions they have there. naturally im scared to death to interact with people i dont know and sometimes people i do know. when im interacting with a stranger i get really nervous and shaky and sweaty and i do these nervous habits like raking my hand through my hair and i lose my thoughts and stutter. i cant deal with it. im taking zoloft 50mg but it just isnt doing anything for me. im still just as unmotivated and afraid and depressed as i was before. my father wants me to head to college in a few weeks because i have some low income assistance with it and i feel so unmotivated to set my classes up. and to top everything off i still only have my learners permit to drive so anything not local is out of the question. i already know what im going into and where im going. but just like the work thing i lack the motivation. i have extremely low self esteem and rarely believe i can do anything without messing up. i suppose the question im wanting to ask is: how do i do it? how do i do what all of my friends have already begun to do? they all have their licences and jobs they love and have plans to set up schooling and here i am just wanting to lay in bed all day and not move. how to i become motivated enough to not just want better for myself, but how DO i get motivated? in my circumstance how do i make my life get on track? im open to a lot of suggestions and i have medicaid so any drug recommendation is welcome. thankyou for your time and consideration.
    rohvannyn responded:
    Hi there, welcome to the site. I'm about to write you a book!

    I can maybe give you a few starting points, and others may have some things too. The first thing is to keep in mind that a lot of your lack of motivation is anxiety and depression talking. It's not the real you. Bearing that in mind, think about what you really want in life. You are young, you have a lot of time ahead of you. Where do you want to be in ten years? Who do you want to become? Will your current actions help that or harm that? It's a true fact that it's easier to make changes while young than when you are older.

    The fact that you are asking these questions now is WONDERFUL. You are giving yourself a gift, a chance to live a good life, not a sad and unfulfilled one. I wish I had started examining my life at that age instead of now.

    Recovering from depression is a lot like weight loss. You have to start small and make sustainable changes. Change too much too soon, and you are going to get discouraged and give up. There is a saying: "nobody fails, they just give up." So make your goals small at first.

    You mention being overweight. Well, maybe you can kill two birds with one stone here. At college you will have access to better foods. A lot of fatty fried foods, sure, but more of a variety. Your body needs good fuel and so does your brain. The more junk you put into it, the harder it will be for your body and brain to work right. Just like trying to run a sports car on dirty gas.

    Light exercise, such as walking, really helps uplift the mood. I also enjoy weight lifting at times. It feels good! Find some really good music and do a little. Pick something you enjoy. Now is the time to start, when you have some time. This isn't so much to lose weight, it's to feel better. Though you will also find yourself shaping up and that will do wonders for your mood. Trust me, I know!

    Since you are lucky enough to have some medical care, talk to your doctor about your symptoms and they may help you with strategies. If you can be tested for nutritional deficiencies, have them do that. I keep mentioning it because the American diet is full of things that will really make you feel cruddy and lethargic. Don't believe me? Go Paleo for a month! You will notice a huge difference. I'm not seriously suggesting that for you right now, though.

    Each day, try to do something for yourself. If you want to get your license, study a little for it. If you want to get healthier, do a little something there. Think about how you want to live for the rest of your life. If you do nothing else during the day, at least practice seeing the positive side to situations. Learn to look for opportunities instead of obstacles. Little by little it will come more naturally and serve you for the rest of your life.

    Why am I not reccommending different antidepressents? Because they are tools, not total fixes. They help you cope, sometimes, but your problems will come back unless you learn coping strategies.

    I wish you the best!

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