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    Trigger- do i really feel this way?
    avatar
    feathers135 posted:
    Sorry this is a little long, i'm not sure if this could be a trigger so i thought i should be safe.lately i have been feeling really awful and the last couple of weeks i have been fanastizing about killing myself. I think of a bunch of different ways that i would do it and all the different things that i would say if i left a note. I even started to write a few. About a month a go a really was really upset and i got out a knife and held it to my wrist and thought about killing myself and how it would look if i dead in the kitchen and what would happen if my family walked in. I have no desire to do anything. I don't even want to watch movies or talk to my friends anymore. It's weird because i have been dying to tell someone i know how i feel but i can't find it in me to say something. like thats too hard too. I feel like crying a lot.
    The problem is, i don't know if i really feel this way or if i've just read so many articles about suicide and depression that now i'm just copying? Does anyone else ever feel like?
    And if so how do i know that i really am depressed and not just acting that way.
    Reply
     
    avatar
    rohvannyn responded:
    You have some good questions, there, and I'm glad you are asking them. You could just be processing through what you have seen and thinking about it, "trying the idea out" in a sort of way to see how it fits. It sounds like the idea of suicide didn't fit because you are still here. I'm glad! You still have a future and don't have to start from scratch. You have a family that loves you and that's great too.

    It sounds like suicide wouldn't seem so nice if your life was better. Well, I can tell you it's a lot easier to make your life better then start over from the beginning. Yes, it sounds like you are depressed... but is it from stress? Worry? Fear? Social pressure? Something you can't even name? This is a hard time to live through.

    Why not start by writing your feelings down here? We will listen, and we won't judge, and no one will know who you are so you can be honest. Thank you for being considerate in the way you posted. I can tell you are an intelligent, thoughtful person. The world is cruel to that kind of person, but trust me, we need all we can get.

    I am here for you.
     
    avatar
    feathers135 replied to rohvannyn's response:
    thank you


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