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My wonderful life has fallen apart
radar549 posted:
My wife and I have been married for 30 years. We've always enjoyed each others company and spent most of our time together. We shared the same love for boating and always dreamed of making it our life after I retire... we are now living that life and have been for several years.
About a year ago I realized our lifestyle was too alcohol dependent and decided to stop drinking for a while. My wife was also drinking heavily so I asked that she give it a try also... Just for a month. She did and it seemed she had a come apart. Not DTs or any normal type of withdrawal symptoms such as tremors, but she seemed to be severely depressed. She cried a lot and seemed to blame me for the whole problem. She started drinking again though not quite so much.
The problem seemed to have manifested itself as a family issue, in-laws in particular. Her brother and I have never cared for each other. He always took my things, not to steal them but to irritate me. He started that as a joke and as time went on, 20 years, I stopped finding it funny and asked that he stop. He continued anyway. My wife, his sister, always protected him and stopped me from becoming more vocal about the problem. After 20 years, I demanded he not return to my home. I had sold my home anyway and we were living on a boat so there was no room for family company anyway.
That's when the whole in-law war started.
I do not participate, but my wife feels it her duty to keep the controversy going as does the rest of her family.
Everyone in her family has now demanded that I forgive my brother-in-law and return to the family gatherings. I don't feel comfortable do that anymore.
My wife blames her depression on this issue even though I encourage her continue on with her family gatherings, just leave me out.
That's not good enough.
My wife has been on antidepressants for nearly a year. Quit Zoloft, cold turkey, and went on Lexipro. It doesn't seem to be working for her.
Now I find myself becoming angry as she starts almost everyday with the same issue. We can be having a nice time and she'll start it all over again.
I know I'm rambling, but this is not even half of it.
Any help would be appreciated.
I love my wife and I miss our life.
rohvannyn responded:
Hi there, and welcome. I hope you get some good advice and support here. I also wanted to let you know about the Relationships and Coping community, which can be found here:

There are some very nice people at this community and your question seems ideally suited for it.

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