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I struggled from depression, but...
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An_255284 posted:
I got depression two years ago because of the horrible relationship with my boyfriend. His moody behavior drove me crazy and at last we had to break up, and that time I was still deeply in love with him. After that, I was diagnosed heavily depression. I got terrible sleep, I thought that someone starting at me every moment. I even had the idea that everyone around me hated me.
Things turns to be good after taking medicine for two years. Now I graduated, and start studying in graduate school. I am usually optimistic and I laugh a lot, enjoying my new life so much. Besides, I am going to stop taking medicine.
And then I had a crash on a man, after dating with him for several weeks, I decided to tell him everything about me, including the depression. Then nightmare came. He refused to continue the relationship because of my mental disease. I feel terrible again. Eating a lot and sleeping a lot. I mean I am not so love in him, but I cannot stand the reason he broke up with me...I trust him so much!!
Does this mean that it is a shame to get depressed???
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An_255286 responded:
There certainly is a stigma associated with any mental illness. For many years, mental illness was something that was not discussed, except in hushed tones, because it was something to be embarassed or ashamed of. Mostly it was because people knew very little about Mental Illness, and TV and Movies portrayed persons with mental illness as people to be feared or looked down upon (Watch the movie "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest"). Despite the fact that Mental Illness has been talked about in the media much more in recent years, some of that stigma still remains. Years ago, when I went to my (then) husband and told him that I thought I needed to seek treatment for depression, he told me, in no uncertain terms, that if I ever went to a psychiatrist he would divorce me. (Guess who is now an ex-husband.) His only experience with mental illness was limited to what he saw on movies and TV, and an Aunt of his who suffered from Bipolar disorder. His Aunt, before she started getting treatment, did some things (during a period of mania) that were scandalous at the time, and embarrassed the family. Therefore, having a wife who went to a psychiatrist was unacceptable. People would think bad things of him/me, just as he thought bad things about his Aunt who was bipolar.

There is no reason to feel ambarrassed or ashamed because of having depression. You wouldn't be embarrassed if you had cancer, or pneumonia, so you shouldn't be embarrassed to have Depression. It is just another illness.

I applaud you for being honest and up-front with this man and telling him about your past struggles with depression. If anything, he showed you that he is not the right man for you. If he cannot accept you as you are, he is no good for you. You deserve someone who is accepting, compassionate, and supportive - not someone who thinks that mentall illness is something to be ashamed of. The only person who should feel shamed is him, for not being a better person and friend to you.


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