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my depression is ruinin my life
jennycarroll posted:
Hi. I'm new to the whole online support thing but here's my problem. I've been depressed for 10+ years with primary care docs giving me paxil to sufice me. I think it worked for a bit but this last year I've sunken to a new low. I finally saw a shrink who switched me to wellbutrin. It's been a week and i feel no different. My husband just had his foot amputated and we have a 7 year old boy, who i credit fpr me still being here and fighting this. I sleep all day, cry all the time, I'm just a miserable person as my husband would put it. I'm also out of work which doesn't help things. I just keep asking when if ever will i feel normal again. I used to be so happy go lucky and now I'm just hopeless. Amy advice would be appreciated. <3
socalmsg responded:
hi Jenny, thank you for being courageous enough to seek support, even if it is in the virtual world. I read your post and was touched by what you had to share. 10 years is a long time to suffer from depression.I hope that the new medicine helps you to feel better prepared 2 handle the heavy situation you described. I don't know about you, but I wish there was some kind of magic medicine that existed to take away the horrible situations that life sometimes presents us with. If it weren't for difficult problems and situations we would not suffer from depression and feel sad and horribly overburdened. Please do your best to stay strong.I also felt touched by your last comment about when you used to feel happy go lucky. I remember those carefree days as well and oftentimes find myself reminiscing and longing for them. Please know that you are not alone.
jennycarroll replied to socalmsg's response:
Thank you for your kind reply. My doc upped my wellbutrin to 200mg per day and u think I may be feeling a tiny bit better. It's the paxil taper that's killing me. Ive got the major body zaps that come along with the taper.
I have so much hope that wellbutrin will save me. I look at my life and it's beautiful; nothing that should cause me to feel so hopeless and sad. I need to be the woman I was. I miss her so much and know she's in here somewhere. Thank you so much for listening. xo
havetolearntoaccept replied to socalmsg's response:
Hi Socalmsg

There may be some others that will pick up on your statement ". If it weren't for difficult problems and situations we would not suffer from depression.

There is a depression called "reactive" where we can feel down from life's pressures especially loses of loved ones, divorce, heavy financial burdens, etc.. Many people will go through that type of depression at one time or another. It may even take time to pass but it will pass in time on its own.
People on here speaking of depression are those that live with it for long periods of time, have to be seriously treated by a psychiatrist and regular therapy like CBT. They don't get there meds from their family doctor and chances are they will have to live with depression on some level for years to come.
We have "chemical" depression typically MDD and a host of related conditions like OCD, ADHD, PTSD, extreme anxiety, etc.. This is not something we have control over and is in the same class as Parkinson's, MS, Fibromyalgia.
Hope I didn't hurt your feelings but the people here that live with this life-changing disease still have to live with people thinking "your having a rough time and it will pass" or "do this or that and you will feel better"
jennycarroll replied to havetolearntoaccept's response:
True. My husband is always telling me to "just think more positively" or "get over it". When people don't understand the reality of this it makes it that much harder. On a positive note I've been on wellbutrin for almost 3 weeks now and I think I feel a difference!

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