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    Messed up Family
    avatar
    beautifulbuffalo posted:
    I have such a messed up family. It leads to a life long depression. How can I love others when I don't love myself. I'm so lonely. My eldest brother died at 47 and glad he's dead. My other brother died at 55 and glad he's dead. My sister is 53 lives in Florida and is homeless and an embarrassment to be around. Then me the youngest at 50 trying to hold my life together. September 2014 Is my 30th anniversary and my husband will be hunting in Montana. Not sure I want to celebrate it anyway. What does one do to love themself and what does one do to keep busy and her mind off all the bad in her life.
    BB
    Reply
     
    avatar
    thereselittle responded:
    Hi beautifulbuffalo,

    I think I can relate to how you feel to a certain extent. My situation is different and I'm only 14, but I can relate to your questions as I often think the same things. To answer your questions about loving yourself, I know this is really overused but I pray when I feel like this or when I start leaning towards the whole suicide thing. It allows me to get away from all the negative stuff that makes me feel like I am a horrible person/ waste of life. I developed a relationship with God as He isn't judgmental about my flaws. I look at myself in the mirror and try to only focus about what I like about myself and just forget about what I don't like (which BTW is a lot). I can kink out the flaws later on and so can you.

    To keep your mind busy is harder than it sounds I know but try doing what you really enjoy doing and get into that special 'zone' while doing it.I personally like doing things with my hands and try my best to do only that whenever possible. Or maybe you can read something you can relate to and gain insight from it (I know some books are really far-fetched but there are some good ones out there), whatever floats your boat

    Also getting yourself away from the situation is good too. Can you stay away from your sister if you have tried everything else to help her or 'deal' with her? Or maybe spend as little time around her as possible? Nothing beats a try.

    You should celebrate your anniversary or at least do something special for it. Allow yourself the occasion to make yourself feel special because you are, always believe it. Again I know harder than it sounds. However, the sooner you learn that, the sooner you will feel better and your problems though they might still exist will seem less relevant. Maybe you can go with your husband and spend some time together as it might help you to forget about your current situation. You can also do something small like eating out or going to the spa or whatever you enjoy doing.

    Lastly, I want you to know that you should not run from your problems. I have tried it and sadly still do it often. In the end it comes back bigger and nastier and won't go away until its dealt with.Talk about it with someone you trust or maybe even on this community discussion thing. Then no one can judge you as they don't know who you really are. Again don't knock it till you try it. Besides, pretty much everyone on here has felt the way you do at some point or the other.
     
    avatar
    stellagonzalez responded:
    You are going through tough phase, just spend quality time with your friends. Keep your mind always busy. Have a visit in some orphanage, do some chit-chat with them.
     
    avatar
    beautifulbuffalo replied to stellagonzalez's response:
    I don't have any friends. No orphanage where I live.
     
    avatar
    sonja_torus replied to beautifulbuffalo's response:
    can be your friend. if you will allow me to...


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