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suicidal thoughts
amailia posted:
I am overwhelmed with suicidal thoughts. I am feeling helpless and hopeless with no future for me. Constantly thinking about my death and how can I end all this inner pain forever
terrigracetgc responded:
Amaillia, are these feelings something that you have had before? Are you on medication for this and if so, have you taken your meds? If not, then make sure you take your meds and you will feel better. Are you able to make a phone call? I suggest calling the suicide prevention/crisis call center - that number is 1-800-273-8255.

Take care and feel better.
amailia replied to terrigracetgc's response:
I live with this everyday in the back of my mind. When the emotional stress gets to high the suicidal thoughts are more intense, I am taking my meds. I am between a rock and a hard place right now. I just saw a surgeon yesterday and I need surgery soon, so I was put on the emergency waiting list. I have two adult sons and a gr. daughter that are toxic to my mental health and wellbeing. I know what I have to do but it kills me inside as a mother. I have to be stronger than I have ever been. I am getting my house ready to sell and I have to break free to save myself.
diytestkitsdotcom responded:
Hi amaila,

I can sense that you are hurting in some way. What has caused this feeling of helplessness and hopelessness? What is so troubling that it leads you to have suicidal thoughts?

You believe that there is no future for you, you're wrong. As long as you don't give up, you will have a future. You say that. your family is toxic to your mental health and wellbeing. Why? They should be your rock of strength at these trying times. Do you think that they will be able to make up for it later on if they tried? What about your friends? Surely, if not your family then they should be the next ones who can help you feel better. Reach out to the people who you know care for you.

You may be going through a hard time, but maybe if you can find something to hold on to, it will motivate you to keep going. Make it your own piece of hope. You will need it, especially for your upcoming surgery.

Don't give up just yet. Give life a chance. It might just surprise you. I really hope you will feel better soon.
amailia replied to terrigracetgc's response:
I am widowed since 2006. My sons have financially ruined me. Neither once is an adult; they will not financially take care of themselves. They use me and abuse me. My dr. told me I have to divorce them from my life. I know inside that he is right. They refuse to change their ways and take responsibility for their lives.

I have my son and gr. daughter living with me for the past four years. Mr. gr. daughter is mentally challenged and will forever be a 12 year old. He mother just died in December.

My only weakness in my life is that I care and have a soft heart and this has caused me so much emotional pain. I have come to the place where I just do not have the energy to carry on. I do not see a future for me even if I move; I will not be able to escape my sons behaviors.

I have been trying to work this out and the only thing I can come up with is to go into hiding.
bipolalized replied to amailia's response:
Try to think of moving toward something rather than away from this unhealthy family situation. No matter what you decide to do, think about moving towards a solution and towards resolving the issue rather than hiding from the problem.

From your message, it seems that you have already decided what is best for you, but have not implemented it. Knowing what to do is the second step of problem-solving after acknowledging the problem. This leaves implementation.

"My only weakness in my life is that I care and have a soft heart and this has caused me so much emotional pain"

A soft heart is never a weakness, and coupled with strong resolve means a person knows what to do for themselves and others, and has the strength to follow-through.

You can do this.

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