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A Mother who is depressed.
benedictb posted:
Hi all. My mother has battled depression and anxiety for many years, but the last two have been really bad. She has been hospitalized 5 times over this time period and nothing has seemed to help. Last summer, when hospitalized, she received ECT treatment and when she was released it was like I had my old mom back (funny, engaging, ect) but that only lasted for two weeks and then she slipped back into a very depressed state. She lays in bed all day, and is VERY dependent upon the family (my aunt - who has been her immediate go to, my father, and myself). She has also been on numerous medications and medication "cocktails" but nothing has really worked. Before this 2 year episode, she was on paxil for a very long time, and now her doctor just reintroduced it to her again, along with seroquel.
My question to the community is, where does one go from here? I feel like we have tried everything but nothing seems to help. I am getting extremely frustrated because this is not my mother at all, and I know she can rise above this if she really tried. She is very resistant to talk therapy and thinks a pill will fix everything. She is also very dependent on Klonopin. So much so, that my father dolls her pills out every day because she can not be trusted with taking the specific does of 4 half mg's a day. Thoughts? Advice?
Thank you.
sw3tflower responded:
I don't know how old you are but my heart goes out to you. It must be very hard on you to 'lose' your mom to depression.
I hope you go out with friends and have a life of your own when you don't have to worry about your mom.
Where does one go from here?
Hope that your mom keeps trying and accept that her depression is out of your hands. You can't force someone to try therapy. It has to be her decision.
Take care.....
benedictb replied to sw3tflower's response:
Thank you. I find myself focusing a lot on this situation despite how well other parts of my life are going. I am 29, but in a situation like this where i feel completely unable to help, i may as well be 9.
sw3tflower replied to benedictb's response:
Feeling helpless is awful. It's so frustrating. It can also lead to anxiety which you don't need. If you can, accept that you simply have no control over certain things and try not to dwell on it. Easier said then done, I know.
Don't feel guilty that you're not spending enough time with her or that you're not trying to help her enough. You are doing all you can. That's all anyone can do.
It's not wrong to focus more on your life. You love her, but constantly thinking about her is not going to heal her.
I hope I am not sounding unsympathetic. But obviously you are emotionally involved to the point that you might not be accepting the reality of the situation. Like I said, some things you cannot control.
I do understand. My dad was an alcoholic who drank himself to death at only 46. I could only stand by and watch.
.Take care.

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