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so lonely my heart physically hurts
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JessFG posted:
I am so lonely it hurts so terribly and I'm physically exhausted by this. I have no friends. My calls and emails go un-returned. Even the family I love dearly don't appear to love me back. If I say to them "I love you" they always say it back but they just won't call. If I call they can't talk long. They gather together but don't invite me. I just don't get it. I'm so hurt when I reach out and am ignored. I cry so much I feel nauseous. Why why? I'm apparently not likable or lovable and I can't understand why....I just need someone anyone.
Reply
 
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stephanien11 responded:
I feel like I am reading my own thoughts.... kinda scary, and, pleasant at the same time. Jess, I feel ya. I am going through the same thing. Though I don't have any advice because I need some myself. But just hang in there. I keep thinking, someone will eventually care, maybe someone already does and just doesn't show it as much as you idealy want them to. I'm listening.
 
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77elizabeth responded:
Is there one person in the famly that you trust the most? Maybe you could take that person to coffee, talk about things going on in your life then their life. Tell them you need help figuring out something then tell them you feel left out. Ask them if they could tell you what is going on. It could be one thing that bothers the group so they do not include you. It may not bother all of the group t could be just one person that is a little witchey.(you know what i mean) Ask them to help you figure out what is going on with the family.

You sound like it is time for you to make a new bunch of friends. Have you thought of joining a church. You can find many dfferenent things to get involvoed in there. If not a church lool into doing some volunteer work. You need to look around at your life and find something to get involved in that you enjoy doing.

I wish a had a better answer for you. I also have to push my self to get up and out. I tend to be the quiet one of the group. So know that you are not alone.

Best of luck
 
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tominsd responded:
I too, feel the very same way. I don't have anyone that I hang out with that's local. I have some friends via email and phone (long distance), but that's it. I felt like I've done everything I could do to make friends, but nothing works.

Just hang in there, I guess. I know that's easy to say. Sometimes it just seems like it's never going to end. I have gone on message boards stating how I feel, and it seems like I'm not understood very well. I find that frustrating. They seem to imply that it's all my fault that my life is the way it is.
 
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JessFG responded:
I'm sorry that you're feeling the same way. Thank you I appreciate your input. I'll hang in there and hope you will also....a virtual hug to you {{{{squeeze}}}}
 
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JessFG responded:
I'm sorry that you're feeling the same way. Thank you I appreciate your input. I'll hang in there and hope you will also....a virtual hug to you {{{{squeeze}}}}
 
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Lunarlord122112 responded:
I know exactly what you're going through. I don't have many friends and the ones I have are not the kind who would help you. I only have 1 very very good friend. That's all you really need. Just talk to your family about your problems. I'm sure they would listen to you given the chance. And make some friends over the internet! Like I'd be glad to be your friend Just remember, there are always those few people out there who actually care about another person.
 
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JessFG responded:
thank you for your response. I'm sorry you're hurting too. there is no way it's your fault because no one would purposely cause themselves to feel unloved. i guess a deep breath and another day to try again....{{{hug)))
 
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JessFG responded:
thank you for your advice elizabeth, i'll try...
 
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JessFG responded:
thank you for the advice I appreciate the response. I'll try to persevere
 
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curiouslymental responded:
I know how you feel, I just moved out, and all I have are my aunt and uncle but they're going through such hard times right now I feel like I don't even have them. I moved 400 miles away from everything that I know, and truly loved not that I had much living at home but I have more than I do here. I have no friends here, no one to hang out with, no one to do anything with, on my days off I either sleep all day, or I get up for a few hours do a few small house cleaning chores and then go back to bed. I miss my hometown very dearly, and I feel like I'm missing out on everything there. I just need a friend to talk to as well. Even if it is just online, at least it'll be a friend.
 
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4EvaSingle responded:
I'm so sorry, JessFG. I know how you feel. I have always been bi-polar. I have always strived for perfection and happiness, but I do not know where it resides. My family only needs me when they want money and I really don't know where or who my true friend are. Not to mention that fact that I was divorced twice by the time that I was 27. Now I am 34 and going through a totally toxic, heartbreaking relationship, and it if weren't for the fact that I am in the military, I would give up. I am so independant; yet, I have so much to give, but I have never learned to make myself happy. I relly on others to make me happy. I am so afraid of being lonely and it's sickening. I take Effexor, but it only makes me lazy and even more emotional. Does anyone know where that emotional/heartbreaking switch is? I would love to just turn it off and never be sad, happy, lonely, or in love again. 4EvaSingle!
 
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CapriceA responded:
Hi Jess, I too understand. I have a husband (who barely talks to me, cheats on me and will not acknowledge my medical conditions ), two grown children, and a new grandson living with me and i still feel very alone. My daughter who actually likes to be with me lives in VA and im in PA. I feel like they only love me when they need me and im sure none of them like me. I annoy them and get on their nerves when i just talk. I call my daughter in VA sometimes and just say, I know you're tired of hearing how i feel and how depressed i am but i need you right this minute, so please just talk to me. Are you asking for their help? Tell them you need them and you need to feel their love, ask them. Also have you thought about a pet. I talk to my cat. He follows me around meowing (talking to me), sleeps with me, and I just feel his love. Sounds crazy but i tell him that i think he loves me more than anyone in this house. I am very depressed and my cat really helps me feel better. If none of this advice helps, then just keep writing to us. someone will always answer. I'd suggest the mental health chatroom, but i've only ever talked to one person in there as there is usually noone in it when i go in. I cant believe there are so many people posting on boards and noone goes into the chatroom. I think talking to a group of people in the chat would help. But anyway just keep writing to anyone here. and im sure you are likable to someone. Its a big world full of all kinds of people. We just gotta keep our chins up and keep going. Caprice
 
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Gubba818 responded:
Please don't think you're unlovable. I read your post and could totally relate. I know my mother loves me, but my brother can't stand me and he's my only sibling. I am ignored, excluded, and I am sooooooo incredibly lonely. I feel like I have an invisible cloak on me. I am so lonely that my heart actually hurts. I have a sinking feeling and I just can't seem to fill that void. I work nights and I think it's what makes the loneliness so much worse.. I dont mean to switch the topic to myself, but I wanted you to know that there are other people like you. You need to find people who respect you, like you and will appreciate you. Can you join a church group? A hobby group? Sports team? My heart goes out to you, brother. Take care..
 
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Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff replied to Gubba818's response:
Hi Gubba818 -

Welcome to the community and thanks for your response and support.

I want to pop in to let you know that this discussion is an older one and the original poster may not be following any longer.

Please start a new discussion if you would like, introduce yourself to the rest of community.

Take Care,
Elizabeth


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