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    can't get out of bed
    bucha25 posted:
    I just can't get out of bed. I get up early to get my son ready for school and on the bus and I go back to bed. I haven't been sleeping at night and now sleep during the day. I feel that as I'm getting older I'm getting more and more depressed. Found out yesterday I can't have any more kids because of my age and really wanted one more. It's my own fault. Waited too long, didn't take care of myself, but also got married late in life, but couldn't help that. Then I ran into a girl from high school and she was pregnant at 45!! (Her 3rd marriage and 3rd child). I was happy for her but wondered why not me? It seems like life is getting harder and harder, my old therapist even said that. (Can't afford to go anymore). Every time I look for a job, I never get any calls. It's so dam frustrating! Don't even think I can work being this depressed. I'm stuck in this house all the time with no friends. I'm so bored all the time. I try to pretend I'm happy when my son is home from school. I have to. I can't ruin his life too. He's still not making friends and I never could or did. People have told me on here to volunteer at his school. I can't do anything latelty because I'm so depressed. No one wants to be around a depressed person. Been to therapy, they were NOT HELPFUL AT ALL!! They just take your money! Trying prozac again, can't find anything cheaper. When I go out (just the store or library, that's all I go) it seems like I'm the only one depressed. Why do I feel so alone? Why does it seem life was alot easier 20 years ago? Seems like everything is getting worse and worse. Everyone is so SELFISH these days and no one helps any one out anymore. I just say to myself "your going to die someday so make the best of it" what a negative way to look at it. That's how I feel. I feel like I always have bad luck to and it's getting worse. Everyone says "think positive" but when you expect something good to happen, it doesn't so your more frustrated. It also seems as you get older you get more and more alone. Can someone please give me any suggestions? Thank you.
    EllaMcK responded:
    Hi Bucha,

    I have trouble getting out of bed sometimes too. The weight of everything seems too crushing to face every day. I manage usually by just thinking about the very next thing I have to do. If the next thing seems too daunting, I break that into smaller tasks. And then if I need to cry, or call in sick (because it is an illness!) or say no to something, I do and try not to feel guilty.

    My husband has been looking for a job since graduating in May too. He's had one interview from turning in hundreds of applications. It stinks for everyone right now. It's causing serious financial problems for us. I'm 31 and would love to start having kids, but we can't financially right now (not to mention my complete fear of stopping meds to have a baby). I often feel like a failure for not having what others have. But my personal belief is that God lets us go through certain things for a reason.

    There are a lot of selfish people out there. But, there's a lot of good ones too. Like the people here. You're not alone here.

    I'm glad you're trying medication again. I had to take a couple before I found one that works, though. If it doesn't help, try another. If money is an issue, there may be free clinics that can help.

    Let us know how you're doing,

    Adanielle25 responded:
    Hey Bucha,

    I know what its like to feel like with every passing day things feel as though they are getting more and more out of your control, I'm there too. It takes so much effort to make myself get up and go to work and school. I also felt like a burden to everyone around me, I never wanted to bring them down so i just avoided all my friends and family because honestly trying to pretend was exhausting and making me feel worse. So I know what your going through, to an extent. What I feel will help me to deal with this situation is to talk to someone who is maybe in the same boat as me and we can help each other. I dont pretend to have all the answers but talking to someone about all my feelings and trying to get to the bottom of them has actually helped me. I dont feel like a burden to them either though because they are also going through the same kinds of problems as I am. We are helping each other and it's free. If you need someone to listen and offer an outsiders prospective I'd be happy to email you and be an outlet. No one should have to feel alone... I hope I've been able to offer up a little bit of wisdom for you.

    Best of Luck, Ashley
    arisner responded:
    Hi, Reading your story you sound just like me, I KNOW that you can't get out and do anything like volunteer or work being as depressed as you are... I was on Prozac for a while because I didn't have insurance and couldn't pay for my Zoloft, Prozac didn't work for me. I know that many people say that religion isn't their thing and it wasn't mine either; I was very proud of the fact that I was self-made... I worked hard, got a couple of degrees, spoke several languages, traveled etc... but I could never figure out why I was never happy. I fought depression for over 12 years and when I turned my problems over to God, He really took them and left me with peace and wholeness in my heart. I am still on my Zoloft but I can say that my spirit is not in a constant state of turmoil and darkness. I have discussed this on several posts before but the one thing that has turned my life around has been Jesus Christ and my church family. I suggest praying to him to come in to your heart and forgive you of your sins and tell him that you need help. I know this may sound crazy to everyone but you should have seen where I was and where I am now. I hope that you don't just disregard the testimony that I have given because It has soooo changed my life for the better and I really can't believe that I didn't want to have anything to do with it before last year. Whatever you decide to do I pray that you find the treatment that is going to work for you. You are not alone! There are so many people on this board who can identify with all or many of the issues that you have talked about and you have friends here who have years of experience dealing with depression and can offer good advice. Angie

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