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I feel so alone
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outtahope posted:
I have been diagnosed with major depression. I thought the medication I was prescribed was working but after about a week, I could feel old symptoms, thoughts and feelings creeping back up. I've been lying in bed for the past four days, tired, going through crying spells, etc. In that time, I haven't taken the medication because it isn't working.

My family doesn't understand. I haven't said anything to my significant other because I don't want that to be the only communication between the two of us. We haven't been dealing with this issue at all. Depression has robbed me of my personality, vitality, passion and happiness so, most of the time when we talk, it's just about "it". I'm tired of talking about how sad and horrible I feel. The real me feels trapped inside, unable to break through. I find it difficult to function most of the time. I feel so alone; no one understands. I need to talk to people who can really help me. Please tell me there are people here who understand. Can you please provide advice on how to talk to my significant other? I'm afraid of losing my family. Help me.
Reply
 
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jpcil responded:
Dear Outtahope,

Have you told your doctor that the medicine isn't working? There are others who are in the same boat as you are. Let your significant other know how much you want things to work and that you are trying your best to make it better. It isn't you, it's the depression that is the problem. It's a cruel illness. You act a way that isn't you and you feel as if you have no control over it. Let your partner know you need the support.

I'm sure others will come on to help you and can give you better advice. I just want to make sure you know that your pleas for help are being heard.

-Jen
 
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littletwister1963 responded:
I agree with Jen. You say your meds are not working? then dear you need to let your Doc know ASAP.

Talk to yor immportant person in your life and let them in on how you are feeling. Hopefully they will be able to understand and be supportive.

We are here for you!!

Lori
 
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JESSJOD responded:
Hi So Alone I have also been so down and out that being in bed was easier. Please take the meds until you can find one that works, something is better than nothing. I understand the feeling that the real you is trapped inside I feel that way most days I feel like I have lost the real me. Talking to people that don't get it does manifest your feelings of isolation when the response has people looking at you like you are crazy (in my case). My significant other doesn't deal with the issue of my depression, I do talk and his denial is his coping tool. I use gratitude as one of my coping skills,although some days the bed still looks better. You should speak with a therapist if possible so that you can try and sort out your feelings possibly with your sig-other if he is willing,a third neutral party may help.Reading has helped me thru many a dark day whether it be a novel or self-help book. YOU ARE NOT ALONE ON THIS JOURNEY, GOD BLESS
 
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dian78 responded:
outtahope, I am so where you are right now!! I been in contact with my doctor trying to find a dose of medicine that will help. I have to believe what others tell me that there is something out there that will help.

I have been sleeping and crying all week, not able to go to work. It is impossible to get the negative thoughts out of my mind, the only thing that shuts them off is sleep. I also feel so alone, even when i am with people I know. The holidays are another thing that i am dreading. Everyone around me having a good time, when i am in such pain. I have had thoughts like you, i don't konw where I went, the old me!! Will I ever be ok again?

I would suggest that your spouse learn as much as he can about depression. My spouse also suffers from depression so he knows exactly how I feel. Your spouse needs to understand it is like having diabetes or another illness. We can't help it.

I hope this makes you feel a little better, when I read your post it was so exactly me! It has made me feel better. I know from the past that the medicines take time to work, and it's hard to wait when we want to feel better NOW!, I am at that point, the doctor adjusted my meds yesterday and will have to wait and see if it works. So try to work with your doctor, and be patient. Hang in there!! We can be here for each other!!
 
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mary418115 responded:
Hello outtahope, You know that some antidepressants can take up to 4 weeks to feel any benefits. Perhaps that first you were excited about maybe getting some relief that you psyched yourself into believing you felt better.

I have been on antidepressants for 15 years and I never have take one that didn't take at least a week to start working.

So stay on the med and give it time. It may work in another week or so.

Good Luck, Mary
 
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lawelch29 responded:
I know it's hard to face reality when feeling so down and hopeless but that's exactly what you need to do to get out of such horrible gripping depression. Plan a walk with your significant other or an activity you used to enjoy together. At first it will feel like you have to make yourself get up and get out. But eventually it helps to emmerse yourself with as much positive. If you don't think the medication is working please talk to your doctor before stopping it cold turkey. This can have side effects that include worsening of your depression symptoms. Also these antidepressants take at least 3-4 weeks to work effectively so make sure you give each med that length of time before making a decision to stop it with your doctor's help. Also are you in therapy? The best combination for hitting this depression head on is individual therapy (or marital if needed) and medication. In the meantime, keep your head up and know that this is just an illness and with every illness it will get better with time. Best wishes...
 
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Kittenly responded:
Hi,

I am going to echo what the others have said. Unfortunately anti-depressants are not "instant" and can take a number of weeks to work. Definitely call your doctor ASAP and let them know you've stopped taking them, when I was on them I had to try 3 different ones to find the ones that worked best. I know that's not comforting, but it can happen, but that doesn't mean it will happen to you.

And don't shut out your loved ones. Yes, they may not understand what you're feeling but shutting down around them doesn't give you support or them the opportunity to help you. I would also recommend therapy - and perhaps group therapy. I've done both kinds and found success in each area. Group gives you the in-person responses similar to what you will find on this board, sharing what you're going through and helping each other learn and heal and grow.

One-on-one therapy will give you tools you can use to battle your depression. There are therapists who use different kinds of techniques so be aware that you may go to see someone and not feel you are getting anywhere. For me, RET (Rational Emotive Therapy) worked the best, but so did grief counseling when I realized that a lot of my issues dealt with loss.

As for your significant other, I would say the main thing is to be honest and up front. Let him/her know that you are suffering from depression, that they can't "fix" it and you don't need them to, and tell them what you do need i.e. support, understanding, love, time alone, time with them, etc. And provided part of your depression is not about your relationship (be honest there), let them know your depression is not their fault.

You're not alone, there are many of us on here who have been through this and we are here for you.

~Wendy
 
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arisner responded:
Honey, keep taking your medication because they take a few weeks to start working. It was a month and a half or two months before I was stable (not to be confused with strong). Like the others, I have been there too and you ARE NOT ALONE. I put you on my prayer list, we all love you here.
 
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chenrezlsg responded:
you are not alone, I'm right there with you. I've been depressed forever it seems and on every available medication, but none work. not one. i don't get out of bed either. and i have a therapist who comes to my house 1/week! they say i have a chemical imbalance but i don't care the reason, i just don't want to feel this way everyday anymore. i think about suicide everyday. it's just like a weight that sits in that space right beneath my breastbone. it's a living hell, believe me, i know, i live it, too. but you are NOT alone. if no one else, i'm here with you. take care. Lin lsgpoet@gmail.com
 
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dkarma99 responded:
Hi Lin,

I read your post and it seems that you are the only one who said that they have been on every depression medication available. This is the same with me. I just don't know what to do any more. The medication I am on now is "Pristique" and it is obvious that it is not working either. I know the reason for my depression though. I moved from New Jersey to Florida in March with my fiance'. He is also from NJ but has lived here in Florida for 4 yrs now and has a job with Amtrak that he has had for almost 19 yrs. My problem is, I hate it here. I have no family or friends here only him. I do not know anyone here and haven't even met anyone but that is not just the problem. I miss my family ( 3 grown kids & 7 grandchildren) sooooooooooo much that I am so depressed and sick. All I want to do is sleep that keeps me from thinking. I cry alot, and it has taken a toll on my relationship with my fiance' because I am determined to return to NJ, he is undecided if he wants to go back. I certainly would love him to move back with me but I am again determined to go back with or wirhout him. I cannot live in this Hell any longer. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything. My sex drive is gone. I have no desire for anything even with the holidays coming I could care less and just sleep thru them if it is up to me. I think of suicide alot but continually have the Catholic school mentality that it is a sin and I will burn in hell. I don't have the funds to go back and live by myself in NJ I am on SSI and disability and only recieve a very limited amount to live on. I don't know where to turn or what to do I feel dead inside and trapped in my own body. I have to even force myself to take a shower and get dressed, I am so exhausted after that I have to sleep and there are times when I can't sleep at all without taking some sleep medication. My 7 yr old and 3 yr old grandsons called me yesterday ( Thanksgiving) and the rest of the day I was a complete crying mess and felt like a zombie just going thru the motions. I am on Medicare so I cannot afford to see a psychiatrist, Medicare will not pay the full amount but to be honest with you I don't think they could really help me with my situation only if they could find a medication that I have not yet tried. Could you tell me what medications you have tried and maybe there is one I have missed althought I doubt it. Maybe there is one that I haven't tried. I appreciate you reading this and allowing me to vent. I know how you feel and sympathize with you believe me, it is as you said like living in hell. I appreciate any feedback. I pray that you will find an answer and a cure for your depression. I mean that with all my heart. God Bless you..... Donna
 
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howtosmile responded:
I just want you to know that you are definitely not alone!! I feel the same way as you with my depression, and I always feel alone also like nobody understands me at all! My boyfriend actually just told me yesterday(on Thanksgiving of all days) that he was sick of me being so crazy! So now like you, I don't feel comfortable even talking to him about how I feel or even our issues that we have, because it often brings up issues of my depression that I don't know how to deal with such as my insecurities, and inability to trust anybody. I wish that I had people in my life that would support me and try to understand me at least, but I really don't and it makes all the feelings that I have had lately triple in effect!! The only person I had in my life who I felt somewhat understood my feelings, and the one person that could always make me smile, took his own life a little more than 3 months ago, and that in itself is bringing up another range of emotions and depression on top of what I already feel. I just want to be happy again so that I can smile, and enjoy my life and the beauty that I have in it. I have lost jobs over it, ruined relationships over it, and shut myself off from the world just because of my depression! I have young children so I just need help from somebody to figure out how to fix these problems so that I can be the kind of mother to them that they deserve, and that I am unable to give them now! I hope that others out there understand my situation and can maybe help me in some way. I don't know how much more I can take, and how much strength I truly have left inside of me.
 
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jerrissa responded:
Don't feel alone. I am going through the exaxt same thing. I am and have been on many antidepressants since I had my children and none of them seem to work. I spend DAYS in bed crying and trying to sleep just so I don't have to think about how depressed I am. My husband was pretty understanding for awhile but last year I lost my best friend, my mom. I have been totally numb and in total disbelief that she is gone. She was my rock and my depression has gotten 10x worse. Nobody understands or seems to be able to help me or listen to me as well as she did, including my phychologist. I have a difficult time even making it to my appointments. He doesn't seem to understand me very well either. My husband comes home from a 12 hour day to find me in bed, while my 20 year old daughter is making dinner. He basically has had it he says once in awhile. I fear him leaving me and my kids seem to have no respect for me. I don't know what to do either. I feel as if I'll never get better. I have lost touch with all mt friends and my family tries to get me out and up but I just can't do it. I hate it.


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