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    going insane
    idontwant2live posted:
    not going through any productivity or responsability.

    for more than 11 months

    whats wrong with me?
    goneee responded:
    hey, im going through the same thing. i havnt held a job in two years now, im just going to college living off of my parents money. being unproductive makes you feel terrible, i agree. i dont really think is is your fault though. sometimes a bunch of bad situations line up creating a worse situation. you will get through this
    Hanger49 responded:
    I too am going through this same thing,I cannot get motivated to do anything,I wish there were a way to get better without drugs,I just retired and I have got worse,I am just sixty years old,and now I feel worthless,it is driving me mad.
    Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
    Please see your doctor to pursue some help for yourself. There are a lot of medical conditions that are helped with medication and there's nothing wrong with that.

    But also look into therapy and support groups. It is possible to get better but steps need to be taken.

    Also, try making a list of the things you need to get done, big and small, and that list should include what calls you can make to start pursuing help for yourself. I have found when I get overwhelmed to the point of being unmotivated, those lists pull me through as I cross things off. Even if one of the things on the list is 'shower every day', simple things like that.
    Miserable_SOB responded:
    I've been having the same problems for years now. And I'm seeing a shrink too. Nothing is working for me. I feel so insecure now, I just want to die
    meamess responded:
    Like Hanger - I too am 60 and retired - I suffered with some sort of depression most of my life. In my younger years, I think I was able to bounce in and out quicker and not remain stuck for so long?

    I too, still ask myself whats wrong with me? Productivity and responsibility are sometimes hard to recognize when you feel so down,so be gentle with yourself. We sometimes accomplish more than we dream we can, given the way we feel. I just wanted to say to you, that though you may never feel you can answer the question you are now asking, you can continue going forward. FOR A VERY LOOOOOOOOOOONG TIME !
    JenR87 responded:
    spoke to fast when i thought i was feeling like myself again just outta the blue i felt so depressed...and now im crying my eyes out just thinking dam life sucks and no body is really there for you. Ive heard people say ill help you through it then later on they leave you out in the cold. Right now i feel empty hopeless feeling like i tried to hard to make things right but i never seem to get anywhere. I really dont know what to do anymore crying doesnt help i know that but i really have no one to turn to. i cant turn to my friends because they wont understand my mom wouldnt help shell just think im lying or want attention, but im asking for it i just wanna get better. But now i feel like if i have no one to turn to who can i talk to about my issues. I love my boyfriend to death and ill do anything for him but just recently he just left me this way after he told me that my problems are his now and we'll get through them together. I dont know if i said something wrong but he just left and it hurt me even more than i was before. He has been ther for me before its just now out of the blue he acts that way.....i dont know what to do anymore i feel like in only time im going to lose the love of my life and then i really dont know what to do......any advice???
    idontwant2live responded:
    a lot ppl do care. even if you get hurt, its cause people are human(everyone makes mistakes). its hard. just do anything that will keep you postive anything! and thank God as much as possible. i'm also going through some wacky times and in a funk. i just got to be positive.
    JenR87 responded:
    hey everyone its m again feeling kinda crappy and sad. Just recently me and my boyfriend decided to move in together and i thought it would help with my depression know that we were did make me smile but i saw still depressed. I hate being this way alot of the time i think how my life would be if i didnt have this problem but seems like ill never get to find out. Everytime i try to cheer myself just to get my mind off being sad and depressed but nothing ever seems to work. Right now im sad and i really dont know why i just feel like curling into a ball and cry myself to sleep. I know doing that wont help but i just dont know what to do do anymore. I really lost all hope. Ive been trying to keep positive thoughts in my head but i feel like im being brought down. I hate being this away i just wanna wake up all better and never have to worry about being this way ever again. Its been getting worse and worse everyday. Just the other day i thought about bashing my head agaisnt a wall but the thing that stop me was my boyfriend. I still ahev thoughts of wanting to hurt myself but because of him i dont think i can. I dont know what to do or think anymore when i thought i was feeling better everything just went down hill faster than i can say my name. As of right now im depressed and hate it im not the edge of breaking down in tears and the worse part is i dont think itll get better
    Lukeperry responded:
    Everybody on here, keeps asking what's wrong with me. Maybe we are just different, and I don't mean the depression part, that's a disease. I mean the way other people treat us differently, as if we were freaks.

    In my opinion, I think that people who have to go through life with this disease are really very strong. Most of the so called "normal" people that I know, couldn't possibly get through one single day of what we face! For some of us it's a big hurdle to just get out of bed, take a shower, or feed the kids. And someone else has trouble say, running a company. Both of these things are just as huge to the other person, and that doesn't mean our hurdle is any less, because it's getting out of bed.

    If you think about it,we are some of the strongest people I know. But we are constantly comparing ourselves to what's considered normal. There are no rules to who is normal, it's only what we were taught, that make us question ourself. So, instead of saying to yourself, why can't I do more, be proud of anything that you accomplished today. Tell yourself what a great job you did! "I took a shower, yep pee!" The more times you pat yourself on the back, the less depressed you'll feel, and one by one, you'll be taking a shower, going to the bank, etc....And you will feel happy that you did it. This is how we start to get out of that terrible funk.

    The depression snow ball effect, (starting with one scary thought, and it turns into another, etc..) can be stopped by exchanging the 1st negative thought, for a good one, and we can turn the snow ball effect into a positive one. Where we keep saying one good thing, that leads to another, an another etc... Why not? If it works one way, why wouldn't it work the other way?

    I hope I made some kind of sense just now, It did in my head, but I'm not sure if it came out right. Here's to all of us crazy people on here, may we never me boring, and like the others.


    JenR87 responded:
    once again woke up ok but started to feel depressed again. This feeling is really getting old and i dont know how long i can put up with it. Its really getting to me. Ive really tried to keep myself occupied but nothing seems to work i hate having to put in extra effort just for me to feel even a little happy. Its getting ridiculous its getting to a pont where i dont care what happens to me. I wanna put be out of my misery but at the same time i dont. Im so depressed its crazy, it hurts so bad and i just wanna leave go a a place where i can call my happy place and always be happy forever. I really cant take it anymore. I wouldnt really be surprised it i got hit by a bus ill just take it as favor.
    JenR87 responded:
    once again another day feeling like crap and i know nobody cares about me of how i feel. i dont even feel like i exist . This world is truely cold once you really get to know the real people that live in it. i really just wanna die the fastest way possible. i feel like the whole time it has been me agaisnt the world. Im so lonely and dont know what to do. nobody cares about me of anything im going through i really just wanna curl up in a ball and cry until i die.
    idontwant2live responded:
    i'm not the best role model. nor best person for giving advice,

    but i would like to say that i do not or know how it feels to be uncomfortable emotionally or physically or both. i dont know why you are hurting... what hurts you? do you not believe that your light can bring out someone else's light? you said people dont care, be the one that does care. so you could bring the light into their darkness. indeed one doesn't know pain till you yourself are in it. no one knows pain unless truly the person himself/herself feels it. tell yourself over and over. that i'm not perfect. that i am grateful. be patient with yourself.

    know how it feels to be lonely. for 12 months i have never had a conversation with another human being lasts longer then 5-10 sentences. and i am the only one to blame, but dont hurt yourself.

    you have time~

    time heals all wounds.

    keep in touch.
    JayMT responded:
    Jen, I know exactly how you feel. I deal with the same issues every day. I feel depressed and hopless, like I have nothing in the world to look forward to each day. I shouldn't. I'm 23, I'm a college graduate. I should have my entire life ahead of me to enjoy as I see fit. But it doesn't seem that way at all. I struggle to get out of bed and do what I need to do each day, and the whole time, I feel like "this is it?" It's like I have nothing to live for at all, no reason for being alive from day to day. But I fight through that. I don't know how, I don't know where I get my strength from. But somehow, I manage to just keep going, maybe through sheer force of will alone.

    Like you, I have thoughts of hurting myself from time to time, but I've never acted on it, because of the pain I know it would bring to the people I care about. I can't do it, because I can't hurt them like that. I really hope you can keep going, and find help. I want to find help too. It's not easy, it's hard as hell. It's so hard to find someone to trust enough to let that close. But you need to find help, and I need to find help. If not for ourselves, then for the ones we love. Something not everyone in our position realizes is that our depression doesn't stop at us. It affects the people we care about as well, whether we realize it or not. Right now, that's my motivation to get help. If you ever want to talk, I'm a good listener, and I love to help anyone and everyone that needs it.
    JenR87 replied to JayMT's response:
    (sigh) well ive been feeling okay i guess not at my best but its a start. My depression still has the best of me and still as always isnt easy to get a hold of it. Living this way is way worse i had to work extra hard to make a relationship because of this. My boyfriend comments me on things he like saying im pretty, nice, thoughtful, sweet and so on but i never saw my self as any of those things. Ive always seen my self as this bad person. I really dont know why but its always been a feeling i had and gave in to it. All the time i feel like he can do much better than me that he deserves some one better. He's always telling me how much he loves me and all but deep down inside my self im thinking "what does he see in me? Im nothing what he says i am" Most times im thinking what have i done to deserve this to be depressed its taking over me and effecting the love of my life. Recently ive been fine no major feelings taking over but i still havent been at my best i still get sad, i never want to do anything i always want to be left alone, and then i'll just sit on my bed think and just cry. ive been watching movies all the time now just to get my mind off this feeling but nothing as always works. It really has take over my life. Just the other day i was cleaning up and i just stopped and sat down dropping everything and got this uncomfortable feeling of depression and sadness. I wasnt happy before to begin with but i was fine, i must of sat down down for hours with my head down staring at the floor. With tears starting to roll down my face i thought to myself here we go again. My depression has lasting quite a while ive gotten so quiet and antisocial that it wasnt me i didnt feel like myself. I really want to be the person i used to be. When depression takes over me i completey shutdown and just give in i dont even try to fight it anymore its just to hard to do alone. I havent had any thought of hurting myself it really just happens when my depression is way more than i can handle. Everyday i wish please let this go away i really want my pray answered i dont know how long i can be living like this. I wish this will go away i want to live my life happy im lost in life and maybe will never find my way back to a life of happiness

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