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    Includes Expert Content
    daga1123 posted:
    Well today I tried to go to work. I had a anxiety attck before I left and then as I pulled into the parking lot. I did manage to walk thrugh the door and talked to someone. I am just so stressed out and sad. How cann I face those people that depend on me? Not just at work but at home? I feel so out of control, because I can't control any of this any more.
    Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
    Dear Daga,

    I'm glad you found us.

    Do you have any support around you? Have you talked with your doctor? Are you in therapy?

    Tell us a bit more about yourself.
    daga1123 replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
    I have been back to the Dr do to the old Zoloft wasnt working anymore they theDr and the phycologist decide to change ed to Lexpro and an anxiety pill. They havent seemd to be working but I haven't given it enough time. I still am unable to sleep. Im a working mom of 4, married for 14yrs. Struggled with depression off and on for as long as I can remember. I've never liked therapy but that could be I never found the right one for me.
    I am frustrated and feel out of control.
    Support I have a few friends I can talk too,share with.and hoping to get something out of these group.
    How far back can feelings effect our mental health today? from childhood?
    Lost_Kitten13 replied to daga1123's response:
    hey daga sorry your not feeling that good
    i cant imagine having to take care of for kids, that be too hard for me to do
    i tried therapy too but i quit becuz i was spending money i didnt have and the group therapy did nothing for me...all it did was make me sad an the all the guy did was expalin to me about depression an all that goes with it...which i have everything that is involved with depression including the little things...
    but i hope you can find the riht therapy to help you get through
    and to answer your question, yes problems from your childhood can also effect your depression, espicially if you cant get passed, forget about them, or stop living in the me for example...
    Lost_Kitten13 replied to Lost_Kitten13's response:
    did anything bad happen in your childhood?
    ria65 replied to daga1123's response:
    It's good you remember that the Lexapro medication is going to take 3-4 weeks to work. It sucks, but stick it out. What anxiety med are you taking. I take Ativan which is a little like Xanex. Xanex made me too sleepy to take during the day but it might be a good one for you to help you sleep at night. After being treated for depression and anxiety for 15 years, I realize now that I had symptoms back when I was a teenager. My home life wasn't the greatest, but I wasn't abused. If you are pre-disposed to depression than just the stress of the teenage years can bring on symptoms at that age. Stick with the medications, even if you have to switch to another to find the right one. Ultimately that will help you the most. A good therapist is hard to find, but having someone to talk to is also important in your recovery so it might be worth your time to find one that works for you. Good Luck!
    daga1123 replied to Lost_Kitten13's response:
    I was malested by my best frinds dad, when I was just a little gir; about 5-7. he scared me but was always so nice to me. he made me do somethings a little girl should have to do. he died about 9 ears ago and all those memories came flooding back. I couldn't go to his furenal even though my best friend needed me. I just thought good for him. I do feel guilty bout not being there for her but my feelings werer too strong. I never did tell anyone because I trusted him as a child. when he passed I shared with my husband. He was only one predator that I had as a child.
    Lost_Kitten13 replied to daga1123's response:
    you should talk to someone about this in councouling or therapy, they will be able to help you more than we can. although we can be here to support you we cant give true help. have you tried to talk to get a therapist at all?
    daga1123 replied to Lost_Kitten13's response:
    I have not and probably will not its not me. at least here i dont see anyone face to face and i think thats what will help me. I am afraid to have to look and talk to someone about how i feel or what deep secrets there are hidden in my head. I appreciate that it may help to talk about it but seriuosly what can one do after so many many many years. butim here for my depression not to get help with things from the past that im unable to do anything about, I know i will deal with thngs someday but its not a priority for me now. I was just wondering if our childhood has an effect on us today? I hope i dont sound angry because I'm not. I am glad I shared, though.
    daga1123 responded:
    its only friday and i am already feeling iffy about work on monaday. how scared im beginning to feel.
    UFFDA Im not having a good day today so many things running through my mind. My inablity to do what I would like to do. I can't do it alone so I need someone to go with me. I have noone that can go right now. So Im bummed frustrated and annoyed that it always seems to happen to me. Nothing ever works out for me, my wants are always second, but in many ways thats the way it should be with children and family. Right? But it is me who isnt well its me who needs a break, its me who needs to find herself again, cuz this depression is making me a person I dont like and I wouldnt want to hang around. Way to much negativity. feeling like crap.
    daga1123 replied to daga1123's response:
    well tomorrow i'm supposse to go to work. I haven't been there in 7 days. I don't feel ready to take this step. I don't have anymore to give to others. i dont feel comfortable. Ive been thinking that I should get some inpatient help. My husband thinks it would help. I'm scared
    daga1123 replied to daga1123's response:
    Monday gone couldnt do work agian.. went to a therapist waiting for dr to call to talk about meds. i feel so hopeless, frustrated and tired.
    Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to daga1123's response:

    I hope the doctor calls soon. I'm glad you saw your therapist. And I hope you get some rest tonight.
    daga1123 replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
    ok tried again to go to work, failed. Im so frustrated. But teh dr never did call and that hurt. While at work her nurse called and apoligized and she upped my lexapro to 20mg twice a day. I hope this will work cuz I sure cant work. iam tired. tired of pushing and tired of everyone telling me to push. I just want a rest and not to push, push, push.
    my husband doesnt understand, he is the one telling I have to push myself.and i just dont feel like it.
    Anxious778 replied to daga1123's response:
    I am reaching out to you because I wish more people had reached out to me. I have been on some form of medicine for my depression for about 10 years now but can remember feeling depressed since I was a child. I was on Symbyax, which is a combination of zyprexa for bipolar and prozac, for about 2 years and in that time I was tired, gained alot of weight and developed diabetes. Because of this my doctor decided to switch my medicine about 4 weeks ago i went through 4 medicine changes in that time and came to a breaking point just last week. I didn't sleep for 3 days straight and I was taking Ambien but still couldn't sleep and i was vomiting for the whole time and practically twitching. I finally had to voluntarily check in to the hospital on Friday and just got out on Monday. I did learn in the hospital that I am not even bipolar that I just have severe depression and anxiety. I will say that it was an experience and I hope to never have to go back but it did help me and even though it has only been 2 days I feel like I can function like a normal person again. Through all my struggling I hid it from everyone except my husband who had to step in and get me help so this experience came as a shock to everyone I know. My biggest issue now is just trying to find someone who will understand what i've been through and talk to me. Even though it seems selfish sometimes you have to take the time to take care of yourself and do what is best for you before it affects those around you.

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