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what to do.... i wanna die
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chrissyzajac posted:
my bf of almost 2 years and i had a baby. she's 2 weeks old now. i dunno if its cuz of that (even tho he acts like its not) or if its just me but during my pregnancy while he was playing his video games he met this bitch liz. they barely talk and everytime i snoop in his phone she calls him baby and says she misses him. a while ago he did admit that shes acting like they are in a relationship and it "bothered him". he never texts her back things telling her to stop. and I CANNOT confront him. we already got into a fight before about her and he made it clear if i did it again our relationship is over. i really want to believe him that nothing is going on but i just cant. im tired of crying over it in front of my baby. i just wanna talk to someone about it. i've been wanting to call her with a blocked number and say leave my man alone or act like a friend and say leave him alone but then she'll tell him about it and he'll know i did something... what can i do? i dont want to lose my relationship if i turn out to be wrong...
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rednewbie responded:
Honey, first congrats on the sweet baby. She is a beauty. My kids are now 16 and 20 and let me tell you, I miss the baby stage. I can't wait until grandbabies, but in another way I Can wait for grandbabies!

Honey, you are worth so much more than he treating you. You have the right confront him. If rolls were reversed would he be upset some guy was calling you and "acting" like you two were having some relationshio and he was not allowed to say anything to you? He may be overwhelmed with becoming a new parent. May I ask how old he is? Because to be honest, he reaction to you asking about the relationship and the other chick is a little immature. He should be concerned about your feelings and how you feel, especially since you just had his baby.

I am guessing here, but I am willing to bet he is under 22?

Hang in there honey.. And know you are worthy of someone who loves and is commited to you. You have a beautiful baby and she deserves your attention right now. I am not sure if he does.

Hugs honey,
Gin
 
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chrissyzajac replied to rednewbie's response:
to answer your question, he is 25. i know he loves me but im just scared we'll end up like me and my ex. my ex was dating behind my back and hid everything from me. the current bf at least tells me things which is good. i ended up getting depressed to the point that i went from the weight of 115-120 to 98 in a week or so and constantly over drank alcohol. obviously im not gonna get that bad if mr and bf were to break up cuz i do have a little one now but i can tell that this depression the doctors told us i'd have is normal is starting to affect me eating. im lucky to make myself eat at least twice a day not including small snacks. and what also bothers me is that he is making me breastfeed. normally im ok with it but its really hard being the only one that can feed her and somewhat change her diapers. i really want to switch to formula that way we can have a babysitter for longer than an hour and so that others can feed her. And the fact that she has to be connected to my hip constantly is bugging me. if i leave to go to the store and she wakes up, she will nonstop cry till either she cries herself to sleep or i get home and take over.
 
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MISSBUBBLEYAJG responded:
Girl..I feel for you I really do./ This is why I want to let you know regardless of what happens you WILL be okay. Please do not ever say you want to die because you have a beautiful daughter who NEEDS her mommy no matter what. No matter how tough it gets please be strong for her because you are all shes got. On that note you need to confront your BF because if he is cheating you need to know now rather than later and you do not deserve that. Neither does your baby girl.

I have been there. I have been with my BF for 4 years now. Yes we are still together but we have been through so much and I think we are finally at a different stage in both our lives. Anyway, I had found out he cheated on me last May while he was in jail. He had cheated and had a relationship with this other girl right after I had our baby. Let me tell that was the worst time of my life. I literally hated him and even now when I think of it I get heated. One thing I told him was how could he do that to me, did he not think of our daughter?? It hurt me twice as much thinking of one day some man doing this to my daughter. he needs to be an example now.

Its true your whole life changes when you have a child, but for the better in every single way. Please just be careful and always put your daughter first because she is number 1 now. Stay strong okay.
 
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MISSBUBBLEYAJG replied to chrissyzajac's response:
Oh and about the BFing. Dont do it if its going to cause you stress. Dont feel pressured to do it either, it should be rewarding and enjoyable for both of you, but there is nothing wrong with formula either. The main thing right now especially this early is make sure baby and mommy are healthy and safe. BF is not easy. I had a terrible time with it in the beginning, but ended up doing it for 10mo. Have you thought about pumping, it is time consuming but you could pump those into bottles and always have someone else take over feeding time. I know its stressful trust me I ended up doing the newborn stage and raising all by myself. Its not easy but you get through it one day at a time. Just know that baby is a true blessing and it may seem like a lot of hard work now but these days just fly by! Im still in awe at my daughter everyday and she is now 20mo and Im already asking myself where did my baby go?
 
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rednewbie replied to MISSBUBBLEYAJG's response:
Honey,
Having a baby is suppose to a joyful wonderful thing.. If breastfeeding is too much for you, then you get to make the choice and there are some women who choose bootle feeding over breast feeding. It does NOT make you a bad mother, do not let anyone tell you. My milk did not come in right, and my son was losing too much weight so I had to bottle feed. But honey, its your baby and your the one raising it. Whatever breast feeding you can do is great, but you get to decide what is best for your family. A worn out mom who feels drained is not what is best.

Talk to your boyfriend, get things straightened out with him first, remove that stress.. And then decide what to do about the breastfeeding. Maybe its just too overwhelming dealing with both at the same time. Take one hour at a time.. It gets easier, I promise.
Hugs,
gin
 
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MISSBUBBLEYAJG responded:
Just want to say Im thinking of you and hope you and your little one are doing well....Take of yourself.


(((hugs()))) Angie.
 
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owens1221 responded:
if he is threatning to end the relationship if u ask him quwstions about this person chances are he is cheating...why else would he be getting angry at u....i know its hard to hear an understand but i was in the same situation 2yrs ago..i was married for 16yrs and the samething happened to me...he kept telling me they r just talking as friends that she is having prblems then 2 weeks later i caught them together i almost died i was so heartbroken..but i got over it and now i am with the greatest man ever... sorry to hear that u r so upset though


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