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    Starting Meds tomorrow
    harmonytmrrw posted:
    I've dealt with depression my whole life. I managed it before with writing and dance and everything else but certain events have happened in my life and I begin Zoloft tomorrow. I will admit I'm really scared but calm at the same time because I know I need the help. What have you guys done to help the meds? My doctor suggested exercise, therapy, writing and a healthy lifestyle. Has that helped for you?
    calcedonia01 responded:
    Taking the right medication for you and yes a healthy lifestyle with lots of exercise, journaling and keeping busy helped me the most.
    123PHOENIX responded:
    You are not the only one starting new meds tomorrow. I mean, you are not alone. I understand your anxiety and stress. I'm going through the same feelings. I got diagnosed with depression 6 years ago. It was after a motorcycle accident. Shortly after the accident, I began to withdraw. I eventually was diagnosed with chronic pain. I couldn't sleep, I began to change. Anxiety, panic attacts, seizures due to wrong combination of meds (prescribed by pain specialists) I lost myself. I feel like I stalled and was watching the world around me happen, but I was on the sidelines. That is just some of the stuff I went through. Getting back to how you are feeling about starting new meds, it's the feeling of not knowing if it is a right match for you, if the dosage is enough, and I bet you are afraid if you might "do the funky chicken" when you do take it. I've been on numerous anti-depressants. I went from amitriptiline to wellbutrin to paxil, which I'm starting tomorrow. I read all of the comments that people left about paxil and I'm truely scared to start it. From balance problems, drowsiness, weight gain, anger issues like never before, low or non-existant sex drive, and that's just a few. All this before you even know if it works for you and maintains the depressive symptoms. I used to be suicidal. I didn't see a point of living if this is the quality of life I will have. I was paranoid that if I keep talking to my friends and family about how I felt mentally and emotionally, it would just get old and eventually the phone calls would stop. I ended up disconnecting from them anyway. Those situations really showed me who my true friends were, but by then I couldn't care less. I lost all passion and purpose for life. I layed in bed for days at a time, either barely ate or pigged out uncontrolably. I felt like someone put me in a deep, dark, hopeless well that there was no way out of. I barely talked. I cried all the time. I was angry. I felt like I would just feel better if I could blame someone for it. Then it wouldn't be so powerful, so confusing, so painful and I could once again see the light. I went from a bubbly, energetic, and magnetic 24 year old, to an unemployed, lonely, welcoming death 30 year old. I didn't see any purpose for me, I didn't know where I fit in. I missed out on so much during the 6 years. I missed birthdays, Christmases, anniversaries, and important moments in my 2 and 3 year old niece and nephew. I have said so many prayers, went to church, even on 3 occassions I joined an encounter group which focuses on prayers and experiancing Jesus one-on-one. The pastors guide in prayer, pray over you, one cleanses their soul by leaving sins at the cross. I was always spiritual. As a child raised in a Catholic household, I was so religous. My parents never pushed me to be a believer,but it was the following of the rules and commendmends of our Lord had me so fascinated. I was 9 when I would rather hang out at church than play with kids my age. By my tenth year I was so in love with Jesus, that I told my parents I wanted to be a nun. At that time that was my main purpose in life. I wanted to feel Jesus with me always. I read the Bible like it was water when one's thirsty. I always felt protected, taken care of, and nothing bad ever happened to me until 2004 when an accident literally took my will to live. I was terrified of pain. I was prescribed enough pain meds to kill a grown man, so my pharmacist told me. I got addicted to oxicontin. I couldn't sleep unless I popped a 200ml of seraquel. I sometimes woke up in the middle of the night, still feeling the effects of the sedative, and light a cigarette. As the smoke was burning I would pass out again. I almost burned my house down. My bedroom carpet, rugs, sheets and mattress had burn marks everywhere. Through this fight I managed to keep my relationship with Aaron somewhat entact. Contact me and I will pray for you.
    susiemargaret responded:
    hello, H --

    as far as helping your meds work, here are some things i do, in order of importance --

    -- don't schedule too much for one day or too many days per week, you will have to experiment to figure out what "too much" is (for me, it is no more than two "activities"/day and no more than three days/week of those "activities," which include dr appts, grocery shopping, meetings, anything that takes up a significant amt of your time and/or energy);

    -- get plenty of sleep;

    -- eat real food, not junk;

    -- get plenty of exercise if you can; and

    -- to the extent you can control this, do things you enjoy and don't do things you don't enjoy. no one ever brought the world to an end because they said "no" to yet another request for a contribution of time or money.

    other people find it helps to keep a journal; it doesn't have to be a day-by-day blow-by-blow description of everything that happened each day, just a few words will do if that's all you feel up to -- "bad day," "gorgeous afternoon with friends," etc., etc.

    one other thing that my therapist suggested is to keep a "validation journal." this is a separate, special journal where you write down good things that you feel about yourself or that have happened to you, plus good things other people have told you or said about you. then when you get to feeling like you can't remember why you should look forward to tomorrow, you can skim thru this journal and remind yourself of your worth to yourself and to the world.

    once you get started paying attention to these kinds of good things, you will see and hear a lot of them, i guarantee. plus this journal is for positive things only, whereas your daily/whatever journal may be filled with discouraging things -- the last things you need to read when you are feeling crummy.

    i'm sure this all sounds terribly simplistic, but these are the things that help me. overall, the thing that is the most helpful to me is to try to abide by a schedule and to leave lots of time to get places; uncertainty makes me really anxious. the meds help you think more clearly, but they do not solve your problems. however, they make it much easier to figure out how to solve your problems.

    and speaking of the meds, it is my personal belief that trying the meds and then adjusting for any side effects is a more productive route than flat-out refusing to try them because of the possibility of side effects. of course, this is only my belief and i freely acknowledge that others may feel differently.

    in the first place, many people experience no side effects at all. in the second place, even if you do have side effects, often they are tolerable or manageable in light of the benefit you get from the meds. and, third, if you have side effects that are unacceptable for one reason or another, you can always try switching to a different med. but you won't know about any of these possibilities unless you try the meds in the first place.

    whatever you decide to do about meds, do not quit taking them or refuse to take them at all without talking with your dr first.

    i hope your meds and therapy help. you have done the right thing by recognizing that you need help and then looking for it.

    -- susie margaret
    what good is gold, or silver too, if your heart's not good and true -- hank williams, sr.

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