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So far
blkboot65 posted:
I have been in treatment for a year in a half. My depression is still the same I feel like crapt. I am taking three meds for depression, and none seam to work, I feel like a science experiment more than a patient. I am one that the most popular drugs do not work, I am the 5% which things do not work. Threapy is a joke, I am not getting anything out of it for awhile except that my worth has a person as decrease in value. I have cut myself off from people a lot. I don't go out except to a job that is killing me, so I have nowhere to go except me room where I sit in the dark, because that relaxes me info sleep. I have not felt anything worth doing, seeing, or living. Yes I do think I am better off dead, but no real plans yet. Had both meds and theropy today, and came out worse than when I went in. I am at the maximium dose for all three of my meds, I am not sure that will work. I can not spell them right but Abilify, Wellburian, and Cymbalta which in six weeks I go back and report to some who is temp at the hospital. I am angry that the money and time invested has produce nothing. Which I am not surprise since my career is also sucks. I think over a year is too long, I need to make changes, and time is running out, according to my excel file. Any suggestions out there?
8 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:So farI have been in treatment for a year in a half. My depression is still the same I feel like crapt. I am taking three meds for depression, and none seam to work, I feel like a science experiment more than a patient. I am one that the most popular drugs do not work, I am the 5% which things do not work. Threapy is a joke, I am not getting anything out of it for awhile except that my worth has a person as decrease in value. I have cut myself off from people a lot. I don't go out except to a job that is killing me, so I have nowhere to go except me room where I sit in the dark, because that relaxes me info sleep. I have not felt anything worth doing, seeing, or living. Yes I do think I am better off dead, but no real plans yet. Had both meds and theropy today, and came out worse than when I went in. I am at the maximium dose for all three of my meds, I am not sure that will work. I can not spell them right but Abilify, Wellburian, and Cymbalta which in six weeks I go back and report to some who is temp at the hospital. I am angry that the money and time invested has produce nothing. Which I am not surprise since my career is also sucks. I think over a year is too long, I need to make changes, and time is running out, according to my excel file. Any suggestions out there?
blkboot65 responded:
We this is just like therapy, I am not getting anything out of nothing.
Thanks
Thanks
Report This| Share this:So farWe this is just like therapy, I am not getting anything out of nothing.<br /> <br />Thanks
Hi bikboot,
I'm sorry that nobody responded sooner to your post. I wish I had a magic solution for you, but I don't. I know exactly what you mean when you say you feel like an experiment rather than a patient. The best advice I can give you is to hang in there... also, its important to find a therapist that you feel comfortable and that you can relate to. It sounds like the one you're going to is not the best match - you absolutely don't deserve to be leaving feeling worse. Please try to keep pushing through and find a new therapist and/or try new meds.
I know it may not feel like your life is worth living right now, but it is. Please don't do anything to hurt yourself. Depression is so hard because it takes so much time to get through it. It reallys sucks that it has taken you a year, but that doesn't mean all hope is lost.
Try to keep yourself as occupied as you feel up. If you have anyone you can reach out to now may be the time to do so, whatever your reservations in the past. If not, I am here for you, even if only in this discussion community. I'm here to listen to you and to let you know that you're not going through this alone. Please remember, you can and will find your way out of this!
Hang in there!!
I'm sorry that nobody responded sooner to your post. I wish I had a magic solution for you, but I don't. I know exactly what you mean when you say you feel like an experiment rather than a patient. The best advice I can give you is to hang in there... also, its important to find a therapist that you feel comfortable and that you can relate to. It sounds like the one you're going to is not the best match - you absolutely don't deserve to be leaving feeling worse. Please try to keep pushing through and find a new therapist and/or try new meds.
I know it may not feel like your life is worth living right now, but it is. Please don't do anything to hurt yourself. Depression is so hard because it takes so much time to get through it. It reallys sucks that it has taken you a year, but that doesn't mean all hope is lost.
Try to keep yourself as occupied as you feel up. If you have anyone you can reach out to now may be the time to do so, whatever your reservations in the past. If not, I am here for you, even if only in this discussion community. I'm here to listen to you and to let you know that you're not going through this alone. Please remember, you can and will find your way out of this!
Hang in there!!
Report This| Share this:So farHi bikboot,<br /> <br />I'm sorry that nobody responded sooner to your post. I wish I had a magic solution for you, but I don't. I know exactly what you mean when you say you feel like an experiment rather than a patient. The best advice I can give you is to hang in there... also, its important to find a therapist that you feel comfortable and that you can relate to. It sounds like the one you're going to is not the best match - you absolutely don't deserve to be leaving feeling worse. Please try to keep pushing through and find a new therapist and/or try new meds.<br /> <br />I know it may not feel like your life is worth living right now, but it is. Please don't do anything to hurt yourself. Depression is so hard because it takes so much time to get through it. It reallys sucks that it has taken you a year, but that doesn't mean all hope is lost.<br /> <br />Try to keep yourself as occupied as you feel up. If you have anyone you can reach out to now may be the time to do so, whatever your reservations in the past. If not, I am here for you, even if only in this discussion community. I'm here to listen to you and to let you know that you're not going through this alone. Please remember, you can and will find your way out of this!<br /> <br />Hang in there!!
I guess I understand your reply. I am at a point where I just do not care about anything or life in general. My friends have there lives and mine is not worth them wondering or worrying about me. I go to work barely functioning and then home, where I take care of others. My doctor and therapist don't care, and why should I. I can not do this anymore, and I have my own timetable.
Report This| Share this:So farI guess I understand your reply. I am at a point where I just do not care about anything or life in general. My friends have there lives and mine is not worth them wondering or worrying about me. I go to work barely functioning and then home, where I take care of others. My doctor and therapist don't care, and why should I. I can not do this anymore, and I have my own timetable.
Trust me, I get your friends not bothering to worry about you... that was and is one of the hardest things for me.
But just because you got stuck with a crappy doctor and therapist who don't care doesn't mean you shouldn't care about yourself. Try to be patient with yourself and flexible with your own timetable. You may not care about anything now, but you can in the future.
Sorry I don't have anything more concrete to offer you.
But just because you got stuck with a crappy doctor and therapist who don't care doesn't mean you shouldn't care about yourself. Try to be patient with yourself and flexible with your own timetable. You may not care about anything now, but you can in the future.
Sorry I don't have anything more concrete to offer you.
Report This| Share this:So farTrust me, I get your friends not bothering to worry about you... that was and is one of the hardest things for me.<br /> <br />But just because you got stuck with a crappy doctor and therapist who don't care doesn't mean you shouldn't care about yourself. Try to be patient with yourself and flexible with your own timetable. You may not care about anything now, but you can in the future.<br /> <br />Sorry I don't have anything more concrete to offer you.
susiemargaret replied to blkboot65's response:
hello, B --
i am so sorry that we weren't able to respond to your post as soon as we would have liked; how discouraged you must have felt! many of us try to check the messages once or twice a day, but that isn't always possible and somehow you got overlooked; this is probably because there are so many posts in this community that yours quickly dropped beyond the first page and then became less and less likely to be seen. this is no consolation, i know, but i wanted to reassure you that no one was intentionally ignoring you. as you saw, FLIPOUT answered your second post almost immediately.
please don't give up on us. we want to hear from you.
-- susie margaret
i am so sorry that we weren't able to respond to your post as soon as we would have liked; how discouraged you must have felt! many of us try to check the messages once or twice a day, but that isn't always possible and somehow you got overlooked; this is probably because there are so many posts in this community that yours quickly dropped beyond the first page and then became less and less likely to be seen. this is no consolation, i know, but i wanted to reassure you that no one was intentionally ignoring you. as you saw, FLIPOUT answered your second post almost immediately.
please don't give up on us. we want to hear from you.
-- susie margaret
what good is gold, or silver too, if your heart's not good and true -- hank williams, sr.
Report This| Share this:So farhello, B --<br /> <br />i am so sorry that we weren't able to respond to your post as soon as we would have liked; how discouraged you must have felt! many of us try to check the messages once or twice a day, but that isn't always possible and somehow you got overlooked; this is probably because there are so many posts in this community that yours quickly dropped beyond the first page and then became less and less likely to be seen. this is no consolation, i know, but i wanted to reassure you that no one was intentionally ignoring you. as you saw, FLIPOUT answered your second post almost immediately.<br /> <br />please don't give up on us. we want to hear from you.<br /> <br />-- susie margaret
An_203632 replied to susiemargaret's response:
Hmmm, I have decied to follow my timetable, and follow what I plan to do. I have nothing except crappy job, and home life taken care of parents. I have no interest in doing anything just lying on the sofa. I want my pain to end and it will by year end.
Report This| Share this:So farHmmm, I have decied to follow my timetable, and follow what I plan to do. I have nothing except crappy job, and home life taken care of parents. I have no interest in doing anything just lying on the sofa. I want my pain to end and it will by year end.
susiemargaret replied to An_203632's response:
hello again, B --
we are here if you want to talk.
i send you caring thoughts and the hope for a restful night.
-- susie margaret
we are here if you want to talk.
i send you caring thoughts and the hope for a restful night.
-- susie margaret
what good is gold, or silver too, if your heart's not good and true -- hank williams, sr.
Report This| Share this:So farhello again, B --<br /> <br />we are here if you want to talk.<br /> <br />i send you caring thoughts and the hope for a restful night.<br /> <br />-- susie margaret
blkboot65 responded:
Let's see. I am cancelling my appointment with my therapist so I can see my Medical doctor and blood rate. I am trying so hard to get up for work in the morning but I rather go for a root canal, much more enjoyable. I am having too I many mood swings where I am feel I can do anything, then I crash. No one explain why, so I live with a lot of stuff.
Report This| Share this:So farLet's see. I am cancelling my appointment with my therapist so I can see my Medical doctor and blood rate. I am trying so hard to get up for work in the morning but I rather go for a root canal, much more enjoyable. I am having too I many mood swings where I am feel I can do anything, then I crash. No one explain why, so I live with a lot of stuff.
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