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    idk what to do
    kellystar24 posted:
    [TRIGGER] just got diagnosed with depression and anxiety and am on zoloft and zanax, but i feel like when i take them both together im overdosing, and that scares me, because as much as i want it all to end i know i cant do it like that... when these meds r mixed does it usually make u feel like that?. someone please help me understand
    lexismom11 responded:
    It does take your body time to adjust to the medications. As long as you are following your doctor's orders regarding how you take the medication, you should be fine. This might be something to bring up with your doctor just to get his or her opinion.
    kellystar24 replied to lexismom11's response:
    im just really scared to cuz it makes all the toughts worse, im recently married and am a step mom of 3 but every other dsy the thought of just ending it all goes through myhead and since the meds it sees to have gotten orse. i feel so lost and my husband just doesnt understand, its always suck it up u will be fine but i dont think so nemore...
    lexismom11 replied to kellystar24's response:
    You should definitely talk to your doctor about the thoughts going through your head. It may take some adjustment to your medication before you find what is going to work for you. It happens alot. Your doctor probably deals with this problem all the time so don't be afraid to tell him or her what is going on.

    Having three kids to take care of is stressful so make sure you take care of yourself first, then others.
    MissCaptainKirk replied to kellystar24's response:
    I understand that you are scared. I think these feelings happen whatever medication you go on. When I started taking my anti-depressants my suicidal thoughts got a lot worse. Unfortunately it takes a long time for the medicine to start really working but you got to stick with it and not quit or you will have to start all over. I know it is hard and very frustrating, my husband doesn't understand either, and my family is very against medication or seeking psychiatrist help.
    But if you don't take care of yourself you cannot help anyone else, especially your step-kids, so stick with it and you will get through!
    kellystar24 replied to MissCaptainKirk's response:
    the mother of 2 of my step kids just had it put in the custody agreement that because i suffer from depression and anxiety that i cant be alone with the kids, its bad enough that i am already afraid to be alone with them i case i have another anxiety attack, but to put it in court order and for my husband to agree to it makes this like a huge slap to the face and i keep thinking maybe everybody would be better off without me, no court orders no dealing with my disease... no drama...
    kellystar24 replied to kellystar24's response:

    i also just found out that my husband has told some of his friends that he plans to leave me when he can find n apartment of his own, but when i asked him about it he told me yes he said it but no he didnt mean it, but then when i asked him why he would even say something like that i got punched in the face, i really do love him with all my heart and i really do want things to work, but i think he might be part of the root of my depression and anxiety, and that bothers ne because for the past year has been my rock, idk what has changed, i dread going to bed at night now because im afraid 1. he wont be there when wake up and
    2. that i wont wake up at all. i had a severe panic attack saturday and my heart stopped for 1 min. and as much as i think about suicide (daily) i dont want to die...but now i fear i i havent slept more then 6 hours total since saturday...what do i do now?
    susiemargaret replied to kellystar24's response:
    hello, K --

    no wonder you are upset! i am so sorry.

    the way to handle this, however, is not to disappear from everyone's life; it is to work on getting better and to love and take care of your family as best you can. you yourself say that you are anxious about being alone with the kids, so this language in the custody agreement merely reflects what you already recognize -- that perhaps visiting the kids without someone else along is not the best idea right now. it is not a value judgment about you, it is merely a statement of the way things have to be for a while. think of it as a way of relieving your own anxiety.

    i send you caring thoughts and hope you will keep us posted on how you are doing.

    -- susie margaret
    what good is gold, or silver too, if your heart's not good and true -- hank williams, sr.
    kellystar24 replied to susiemargaret's response:
    it did get to the point last night where i hadto call one of the hotline numbers, just because i needed to hear a reassuring voice... i dont have a support line within my family and friends, i actually dont really speak with my family... so being able to be on here and call the hotline is a huge help. i really am greatfull for everyone on here that is willing to listen and give me the advice i seek
    susiemargaret replied to kellystar24's response:
    hello, K --

    i'm glad it's helpful for you to come here. you should write as often as you want/need; we are not a 24/7, "live" chat line, which means that it may take some time for you to get a response, but eventually someone will get back to you. there is usually less traffic late at night and on the weekends, just so you know. call a hotline when you get to needing the reassurance of a person's actual voice; that's what they are there for.

    are you seeing a counselor regularly? i'm wondering if you have an arrangement with him/her for you to be able to reach him/her or anyone on call after office hours. if you can't reach him/her and talking with someone on a hotline doesn't help enough, please, please go to an ER. in other words, if you are feeling really bad, don't wait for someone to get back to you from here; there is no way of predicting how long it will take.

    i'm very concerned about your husband punching you in the face. there is no excuse for that -- ever -- no matter how irritated or tired or frustrated he is. has this happened more than once? have you considered going to a shelter?

    i hope you can get some rest tonight. i'll try to check in on you tomorrow.

    -- susie margaret
    what good is gold, or silver too, if your heart's not good and true -- hank williams, sr.
    lost62 replied to susiemargaret's response:
    hi, just reading your posts. how are you feeling?
    kellystar24 replied to lost62's response:
    ive been better, believe me. but i was able to get out yesterday for just a little bit and went to my 12yr old cousins softball game. but i had to leave because it got to be to much for me. i know that its going to take time for things to get better, or at least get easier to cope with. but i just feel like its not getting nebetter, i may have only gotten diagnoised a week ago but have been living with this since 12yrs old when i found out i was adopted... so almost 13yrs of this going untreated...thank god for everyone on here that has listened and posted and has tried to make this a little easier, because my husband still just keeps saying "suck it up, you'll be okay" i need his support and im not going to get it. he was a dad 1st he had kids with someone before we got married but i keep tryingto say yes you were a dad 1st but now u are a husband 2 and as much as you love ur kids ur wife really needs to come 1st because your kids are going to leave and lead their own lives and im still going to be the one by urside and he just keeps telling me to deal with it im not going to be 1st and im just gunna hve to like it., so i guess im just so lost right now with my life and my marriage and his kids that i just feel like i need to go away, bow out gracefully and perminately.... but who would that hurt? yes my pain would be gone but what about my parents and my sister and brother and even my husband and his kids? what would happen then? so yet again there is that added pain... UGH life is so complicated.... and so hard and im really just done with it all....
    ladybird81 replied to kellystar24's response:
    My partner doesn't support either. I feel like I have to hide my feelings all the time. I understand how you feel. Hanging in there. Take deep breaths and take it one day at a time. I'm here for you.

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