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ashamed and confused
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Anon_228051 posted:
Ok, i am 27, single mom of two young children. i go to school full time and work part time. my problems are so broad ranged that i have a hard time thinking one has anything to do with the other and feel like i dont want to bother a doctor with it or make excuses not to go because i cant "fit it in my schedual"
i am so easily upset, extrememly irritable i would almost call it fits of rage, not violent but i yell at times when a normal person wouldnt. i dont do it in public, at least i try not to but if im at home my kids will do something little like spill something and i get so upset i can feel it in my body then every little thing that happens for the rest of the day will continue to eat at me, needless tosay i keep yelling. i have noticed its worse if my house is out of order or messy, i have issues with that as well. mind you i dont hit my kids, and i always feel terrible about yelling, i cant help it. also i have a terrible time getting tosleep at night, my mind goes non stop and i will find myself laying there for hours, begging myself to fall asleep. doctors have put me on depression meds and they didnt do anything for me exept make me feel sick. other doctors just wanted me to talk it out....not sure where they want me to go with that. i dont know if its ocd, anxiety or somekind of mental problm at all but i seriously dont feel right and i guess im just writing all these run on sentences to see if anyone else knows how i feel and has any ideas or knows how to help......im almost desperate my body is sore from the stress and anger fits....thank you for reading
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lexismom11 responded:
I can see you have been to a doctor so that's good. When was the last time you saw a doctor? Has it been recently? If not, I would try to see a doctor because you need to be able to sleep at night. Lack of sleep will only make things such as irritibility worse.

The other thing I wonder is are you currently on medications and if so when was the last time they were adjusted?

I can understand your position because I am also a single parent, work part time and go to school full time. It is a challange and you need to be able to rest whenever possible so you can focus on the tasks you need to complete.
 
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thedogpound responded:
I know how you feel I lived with it for years... several meds later Im on the road to recovery, I have bi-polar, anxiety.
 
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susiemargaret responded:
hello, A285 --

it sounds to me as if you are frustrated and overwhelmed by all of the demands on you in your life. you have very little control over all of the things you have to take of. the thing that makes me believe this esp is that you feel worse when your house is messy. when my house gets messier and messier, that is a sure-fire sign to me that i'm feeling worse and worse.

the answer to this is not necessarily to clean up your house, altho that will help if you can do it one tiny thing at a time, but to start getting control of your life. therefore i agree with L that it would be a good idea to visit a dr and possibly have your meds regimen re-evaluated. my other idea is for you yourself to re-evaluate exactly what things have to be done and which ones you can let fall by the wayside in light of the other demands on your time.

does the house have to be absolutely spotless? you may be setting standards for yourself that are unrealistic when you are essentially working two full-time jobs (school and your work), taking care of two children, and needing a full night's sleep. there are only so many hours in the day. sleep is more important than dusting. in this last respect, it might help for you to have a few sessions with a counselor to help you sort out what is more important than what.

i truly hope things will start looking up for you. please get some help in deciding how you can relieve yourself of some of the burdens you have imposed upon yourself. i'm afraid you will get physically ill, even collapse, if you do not. it sounds like you are very close to collapsing at this point.

i send you and your family caring thoughts and hope you will keep us posted on how you are doing.

-- susie margaret
what good is gold, or silver too, if your heart's not good and true -- hank williams, sr.


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