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Introduction: Newbie trying to deal with depression
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mschele30 posted:
Recently I lost my mother to cancer and I'm having a hard time dealing with it. I get emotional just thinking about her. I can't function and I can't sleep without having the TV on just so I won't think about her. Any idle time or moment of silence makes me think about her and I get even more depressed. I have siblings but I'm such a private person that I can't even get the strength to tell them what I'm going thru. I notice they too have issues dealing with it as well. I just started back working and can't afford help, I'm a temp so I don't have any insurance. Someone told me to take Chamomile Tea to calm my nerves, I haven't tried that yet but I am desperately seeking some help. I just don't know what else to do, since her passing 6 months ago I gained 30 lbs. I'm single, no kids and all I do is sit in the house and eat. I've gained so much weight that I can't stand looking at myself in the mirror. I'm trying to lose weight but its just so hard to do. Please help.
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Cindigal responded:
I am sorry for your loss. It's very hard to deal with depression alone but to lose someone you love it doesnt make the depression any better. Does your sibling know that you suffer with depression and its hard to talk about your feelings with people no matter what. I am a private person myself but I didnt any choice when they knew I was going to different docs for my depression. I have 3 sisters and a brother and you know how news spread. I had diagnosed a long time ago with depression and anxiety and I cant recall the different meds I tried over the years. Have you tried to listen to radio instead of the tv just to have background noice. I live by myself and I do have the tv on constantly. I have a son who lives 5 miles away and he has a wife and my granddaughter is 3 1/2 years old and shes so precious to me. I only have one son. I see them about a once a week sometimes.
A far as dieting, it's hard to do when its there it stress in your life. I picked a good dvd one time at Walmart one time. They have a good sport and exercise section. If you have a Walmart, or any store, browse the sports section and browse exercise section and get a good dvd that includes cardio that gets you going and when you exercise the blood gets circulating and the metabolism gets going. I know it's easier to saying than doing. I hope that I gave some encouragement. I am on meds because of depression just like everybody in the community. You can reply to me anytime.
cindigal
 
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susiemargaret responded:
hello, M --

i am so sorry you lost your mother. i can tell you are devastated.

here are some resources for free/low-cost medical care, including counseling. you may have to start with an entry-level primary-care dr, but then you can ask to be referred to a counselor. don't try to tackle all of these entries at once; check out one or two, see what they say, then check out one or two more.

-- check out these websites -- http://www.coverageforall.org/finder/index.php , http://www.freeclinics.us/freeclinic.php , http://www.needymeds.org/free_clinics.taf , http://www.findahealthcenter.hrsa.gov , http://www.freemedicalcamps.com/index.php , http://www.pparx.org/en/prescription_assistance_programs/free_clinic_finder , http://community.catholiccharitiesusa.org/NetCommunity/Page.aspx?pid=292&srcid=288 , http://www.211.org , and http://www.copays.org ;

-- check out this website -- http://www.patientadvocate.org/report.php , be sure to click on both national and state organizations;

-- check out the website for the "live united" campaign of the united way -- http://www.liveunited.org -- and use the "search our site" box at the right in the second blue ribbon to do a "search" for your city or state to find medical care programs in your area;

-- call your city, county, or state dept of health and dept of family services (or something that sounds equivalent), and ask if there are free or low-cost clinics in your area;

-- go to the website for your state government, e.g., http:// www.your_state.gov , and click on every social services link you can find;

-- look for free or low-cost clinics at nearby medical schools, divinity schools, large hospitals, and university graduate programs in nursing, social work, or psychology; often students who are close to graduation provide health care under the close supervision of their instructors;

-- see if any hospitals near you have a social worker; often they have very extensive knowledge of their own and other hospital and community resources;

-- call the legal aid office to see if they know of programs for free or low-cost medical care;

-- check with churches, synagogues, and mosques to see if they have someone who does counseling; with many of these, you do not have to be a member, their only concern is that you are a person in need; and

-- check out these websites to determine your eligibility for various govt assistance programs -- https://www.benefitscheckup.org/index.cfm?partner_id=0 , http://www.govbenefits.gov/govbenefits_en.portal?_nfpb=true&_pageLabel=gbcc_page_home&_nfls=false , and http://www.eldercare.gov/Eldercare.NET/Public/Home.aspx .

i hope this helps. i send you caring thoughts and hope you will keep us posted on how you are doing.

-- susie margaret
what good is gold, or silver too, if your heart's not good and true -- hank williams, sr.
 
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mschele30 replied to susiemargaret's response:
Thanks everyone for the support. I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I thought it was going to be hard but for me I was able to hold myself together. It was really hard for my siblings though. Susie, thank you for the links. I'm going to check out a few of them today and try and get some help. Thanks again.
 
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Cindyrobin responded:
Grief is a very complicated thing and the first year is the toughest as you go through all the holidays and gatherings for the first time without your precious mother. I am sorry for your loss.

There is very little anyone can say to ease the pain. It is so profound and so deep. It helps me to believe that the spirit does survive death and that your loved one is still alive just in another form. You can pray to her and ask her for guidance. A lot of people report having loved ones come to them in their dreams. It doesn't replace missing the hugs....that human contact that we need so much, especially from our moms.

But they are able to assure us that they are alright and at peace and they don't want us to grieve. Of course, grieving is normal and a process that has to happen. And it is different for everyone. But if you believe as I do, eventually you want your mom to see you happy and living life because that will make her happy.
Rituals also help. Something as simple as lighting a candle in her honor.

I have more rituals if you are interested. Let me know.

Cindyrobin
 
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Wweeksr responded:
Dear one, I am so sorry your heart is hurting so terribly for the loss of your mother to cancer. It is so difficult to see a loved one battle cancer and more so to see them lose the battle. Your mother would want you to go on with life and be happy. I know this because I am battling bone cancer and I am a 52 year old mom of three kids. My prayer for my children is they will grieve for a little while but move on and live daily remembering the times we had together and know that they brought me great joy and it was a pleasure to be their mother. So please honor your mother by celebrating the life she lived by taking care of yourself and doing the things you enjoyed together with a friend or sibling. Be thankful that she is no longer in pain or suffering. Live and do the things that make you happy because that is what your mom would want you to do.
 
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Bipolar_gal responded:
mschele30 -
I feel for you & know exactly what you're going through. 8 yrs. ago I lost my mother to cancer on Thanksgiving 2003. I too, was a single 35 yr.old who gained 60 lbs. following her death. You can get a prescription from your doctor for Klonopin. It's an anti-anxiety med and it comes in generic form so it's less than $15. Try calling your doc and explain the situation and perhaps he/she will call it in for you so you don't have to pay for an office visit. Also, look for support groups in your area. Hospitals & local Hospice organizations are very helpful when it comes to this situation.

I have more suggestions for but I'll get back in touch later today. Remember, what you are feeling is normal. Keep Drinking your tea & try to go for a short walk.
Julie


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