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Dannymac12 posted:
I'm a 25 year old woman who moved 5 months ago, away from my family and friends for a job. I like my job, and I visit my family and friends when I have free time. I have roommates that I spend a lot of time with. But I've been hiding my depression from everyone for over a year now. It started out as just being sad all the time and not finding enjoyment in anything I did. I became withdrawn from most people, except the man I was dating at the time. I ended up getting pregnant by this man, but due to many reasons, I unfortunately had an abortion. I felt that I and my boyfriend were not in a position to raise a child, but I couldn't bring myself to give it up for adoption once the child was born. I've been suffering ever since. My family knows about it, but my friends think I suffered a miscarriage. Since then, I've been sad almost every single day, but I'm ashamed to talk to anyone for the fear that they will think something is wrong with me and I will be judged poorly for my actions. My family doesn't want to talk about it ever again, and would rather forget anything ever happened. My friends know nothing, and I fear that they will never understand. I've considered getting help, but it is far too expensive for me to handle. I feel as though I'm getting to my wit's end, and I'm not sure of what to do. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
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Chris_WebMD_Staff responded:
Hi and welcome DannyMac,

I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult time.
Have you seen a doctor about these feeling and all that you have been going through? Sounds like you are in need of therapy to help you work out these feelings.

Seek the professional help you deserve, it's time to get some support in all you are dealing with.

Again Welcome
Chrissy~

When the world says, Give up,
Hope whispers, Try it one more time.
~Author Unknown
 
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Dannymac12 replied to Chris_WebMD_Staff's response:
Chrissy,

Thank you for the welcome. I saw a therapist once after the procedure was done, but I never went to anyone else. It is too expensive for me to go to regular sessions, and I feel as though I would have no support from my family and friends. They don't like to hear about what I went through, and seem to think I can fix myself without any help. I'm not sure where to go from here.

Thanks again,

DannyMac
 
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susiemargaret replied to Dannymac12's response:
hello, D --

i am so sorry you've had to suffer such heartache.

if you will go to http://forums.webmd.com/3/depression-exchange/forum/6522 , you will find a list of resources for free/low-cost medical care, including counseling. you may have to start with an entry-level primary-care dr, but then you can ask for a referral to a counselor.

i send you caring thoughts and hope you will keep us posted on how you are doing.

-- susie margaret
what good is gold, or silver too, if your heart's not good and true -- hank williams, sr.
 
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Dannymac12 replied to susiemargaret's response:
Susiemargaret,

Thank you for posting that link. I'm hoping it will help me find someone that can help me through my pain. I will admit, things have been especially difficult lately. My roommates seem to have taken up the habit of ignoring me. I've basically been locked in my bedroom for two days, and none of them seem to sense that there is something wrong. One girl I live with has known me since before I was diagnosed, and she hasn't tried to reach out to help. It's been particularly disheartening because I don't have many friends in the new area I live in, and the lack of support hasn't exactly encouraged me to seek treatment. I hope I can change that soon.

Thank you again, DannyMac
 
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Dannymac12 replied to Dannymac12's response:
I'm reporting back on my current condition. It's been really tough lately. I've been suffering a bit more since I last posted anything. I'm starting to lose a bit of control. I need help, but I'm lost as to go about finding it. I'm too ashamed to bring my problems to anyone, and every day gets more and more difficult to get through. Some nights I fear that I won't wake up in the morning. I don't know what to do.
 
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susiemargaret replied to Dannymac12's response:
hello, D --

it is time to get some help, because it sounds to me as if you are spiraling farther and farther down. if you have been unable to locate a counselor or a psychiatrist (have you tried the list i gave you in an earlier post?), keep looking, but in the meantime tell your primary-care dr what you are going thru and ask if s/he can prescribe an antidepressant or other psych meds to help you until you can find someone else.

if you start to feel out of control, please call a crisis line, http://www.webmd.com/help/crisis-resources?printing=true . in fact, why don't you go to that site now and print out several copies, then keep one in every room in your house, including the kitchen and all of the bathrooms, plus one for your purse. if talking with someone on a crisis line doesn't help enough, please, please go to the ER. if you have no one to drive you, call 911 or the police if you have to.

one other idea i had is for you to call or go back to the clinic where you had the abortion and ask them if they can recommend a counselor or psychiatrist for you. i am quite sure that you are not the only woman who has had psychological aftereffects in this situation.

i am so sorry you have been feeling worse. i send you caring thoughts; please keep us posted on how you are doing.

-- susie margaret
what good is gold, or silver too, if your heart's not good and true -- hank williams, sr.
 
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Strength2be replied to Dannymac12's response:
Hello Dannymac,

I'm sorry to hear about all the heartaches you have been suffering through. It must be very tough for you not to be able to connect your family and friends.

I can very much relate to your frustrations and constant battle with negative thoughts and sad moods/emotions. A few months ago, I had attempted suicide and had to be hospitalized. Now that I reflect back, I wish I had sought a suicide hotline or any professional. I agree with SusieMargaret - please seek help from either a counselor, psychiatrist, suicide hotline, or hospital.

Even though you may feel you are alone right now, there are others who share similar obstacles. Please seek help from a professional. And, if it does not work out with the first few tries at seeking a medical staff...don't give up. You deserve to be treated with respect and dignity by a professional who is in tune to your feelings and needs.

I hope that you are able to find someone that can be supportive to you.
 
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Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff replied to Strength2be's response:
Hi Strength2be and Welcome -

Thanks for sharing your experience and support, it sounds like you have been able to find good professional help.

I wanted to pop in to let you know this discussion is an older one and the original poster may not be following this thread any longer.

Looking forward to hearing more from you in the community,
Elizabeth


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