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Need to talk to someone who understands
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donecluvgirl posted:
I have been suffering from depression for a long time. I don't know what its like to have a happy normal life. Yes I have seen doctors and taken medication, but I always end up back where I started. Family and friends know about my depression but I don't think they take it seriously. "If you need me call me." What they don't know is im screaming inside please help me!! I believe in God and I want to have a good relationship with him, but I can't help but think he doesn't care about me because of what I'm going through. I feel like I'm being punished. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.
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susiemargaret responded:
hello, D --

i am so sorry you are suffering such pain. i know how that feels.

you can talk to us as much as you need or want to -- we are all here to help each other, we all have experience with depression (we "get it"), and we do not judge. we are here to listen and to give whatever emotional support we can.

your family and friends can't really understand what suffering from depression is like unless they too have suffered from it; they want to be helpful, but this horrible plague is incomprehensible outside of personal experience. what you can do is to ask them directly for what you need -- a call periodically to reassure you that you are loved, to go out for coffee without having to make a big production out of it or having to talk about how crummy you feel, whatever.

i send you many caring thoughts and hope that you will write back.

-- susie margaret
what good is gold, or silver too, if your heart's not good and true -- hank williams, sr.
 
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1nt3rnalc0mbu5t1on responded:
I totally know how you feel, I have been dealing with depression for about 10 years off and on. My family knows I am depressed, but like yourself they dont know the severity of it all. Most people just associate being depressed with feeling sad or blue. It wasnt until recently that I let that inner screaming voice finally be heard. You dont have to go into detail with all of your family members, but if there is a person or two that you trust and feel that you can open up to them, do so. That will open their eyes as to how you are truly feeling and maybe then they will realize the amount of pain you are in. The main reason i didnt talk about it in depth with my family was because i didnt want their sympathy, i didnt want them to feel like they were obligated to help me. But that was the wrong way to go about it, because then i started to ask my self if they really cared about me? why cant the see the pain im in? The truth of the matter is that after a while, we learn how to mask our depression when we are around others and try to put on a smile and make it seem like everything is ok. Im not saying to be glum and sad when your around family, Im saying be yourself. And if your feeling down that day, its ok to show it, they will probably ask whats wrong or are you ok and thats a time when you can tell them your having a rough day, but you dont want to talk about it at the moment. Its a great way to atleast get that conversation started, tell them that you would like to get a few things off your chest when the time is right. When that conversation happens, you will start to spew all of those horrible feelings at them and they may get overwhelmed. But that will give them a glimpse into how your feeling and hopefully that will gain their interest and they will want to help. Venting to a family member is much better than talking to a shrink, your family knows you and your situation and they care about you. Not saying that a Dr. doesnt, but you get the idea. Thats the nice thing about family, is they are there for you. They remember the good times when you werent down and when they see how upset you are, they will want to help bring that happier person back to life. Stay strong, you got this!
 
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sonshine12345 responded:
I feel pretty much the same way. Try to find someone you can talk to, perhaps if you go to church, there may bre someone there, If you have no one to talk to, you can post to this sight. I struggle with depression my self, have seen docs and take medicine, but still have mild depression symptoms and I also don't feel like God really cares anymore. I am lucky though, I have someone from my church that I can talk to, as well as my pastor.
 
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donecluvgirl replied to susiemargaret's response:
Thank you for your response susie! I'm starting counseling next week. I am very optmistic about this! I'm trying very hard to get me to where I want to be in life and who I want to be. It's very helpful to talk to others who have been where I am. Thank you so much and I'm here to talk anytime.

Your new friend,
Andrea
 
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donecluvgirl replied to 1nt3rnalc0mbu5t1on's response:
Thanks so much for your words of encouragement and understanding! It is great to here from someone that understands where you are coming from. I set up some counseling for next week, and I'm looking forward to it. Hoping one day at a time I can be the happy, always smiling, vibrant person that I want to be. This depression has had ahold of me long enough, that's for sure. I hear what you're saying about talking to family. It is definetly hard to talk to them about what's going on. I know they aren't mind readers so I should let them know what's going on. I've been to many doctors and have taken quite a few medications. I'm a nurse and I know better, but have many times quit taking medications without doctor approval. I just feel like why should I have to take pills to be happy?! Anyways thanks so much for your response. If you need to talk I'm here.

Your new friend,
Andrea
 
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susiemargaret replied to donecluvgirl's response:
hello, andrea --

i'm so glad to hear from you!

you are doing the right thing by starting counseling, and you have every reason to feel optimistic. depression is treatable, and reaching out is the first step -- one of the hardest -- and you've done that.

are you also having an assessment of whether a short course of antidepressants might be helpful?

i send caring thoughts and hope you can get some rest tonight.

-- susie margaret
what good is gold, or silver too, if your heart's not good and true -- hank williams, sr.
 
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donecluvgirl replied to sonshine12345's response:
Thank you so much for your response. I am doing a little better now. I set up counseling for next week. I don't currently go to church but I would love to start. I am scared to meet new people but I think it would be a positive start to a new begining. Thank you for your encouragement. I'm here to talk if you need me too.

Your new friend
 
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donecluvgirl replied to susiemargaret's response:
Susie,

I've been on many different medications. This last one I just recently have taken is Cymbalta. I really didn't like how it blocked out the bad and good feelings for me. I know better than to stop taking medications like that but it was like I would rather feel bad than nothing at all. I am going to do whatever it takes though to get better, I have been fighting this battle for far too long. Thank you so much for your support!

Your friend,
Andrea
 
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susiemargaret replied to donecluvgirl's response:
hello, andrea --

there are at least 20 different antidepressants out there, according to our resident expert, dr. schwartz. please don't give up on finding one that will help.

have you seen a psychiatrist re psych meds rather than a primary-care dr? psychiatrists usually know more about psych meds than other drs do; you can get a referral to one from your counselor.

please keep us posted on how your counseling apptmt works out. i send you caring thoughts.

-- susie margaret
what good is gold, or silver too, if your heart's not good and true -- hank williams, sr.


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