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Depression and Mood Swings
aa48126 posted:

I would like to take this opportunity to share how/what I have been feeling over the past year, and, what has been for most of my life. I know that without direct consultation, I wont be able to get a diagnoses. However I would like to hear some of your opinions on what type of psychologist/psychiatrist to see based on what has been written below.

I am a 27 year old Male who at times, feels like I have all the energy in the world. When I start to feel this way, I jump into any activity to keep myself productive. For example; I work on projects that my job does not require me to do. I get the urge to call someone late at night to talk. I feel so happy that doing work is not tough at all. The negative to that however is when I feel that sense of euphoria, I start to go on spending sprees and have little control of other things as well (sexual behavior). I am on a very tight budget in my life but I end up buying things and overspending when I shouldn't. I tell myself it's okay

There are also times when I feel very depressed. Over the past year I have felt a lot more depressed than a sense happiness. I feel as if I am stuck in an abyss and cannot find my way back. Over time I get out of it. I do have some weeks where I feel fine but that doesn't last for very long. I always beat myself up over anything that goes wrong in my life. I've also had thoughts of suicide (mostly at night when I am about to go to sleep). I know in my heart that it will never happen. No matter how bad things get, I will never resort to suicide. I will never do that to my family.

I've been feeling this way for a long time now. In the past it would be more of a temporary sense of euphoria and short bouts of depression. It alternated and always came on suddenly. Over time it's gotten worse and my moods have been more prolonged.

Im looking to seek help now because my depression has progressed to a state where my life has been affected a lot more now, than it was just a year ago. I don't have any insurance and cant afford to pay without some type of installment plan which is holding me back from getting help.

Some things that may help

When I was a kid, (12 years old) my parents took me to a psychiatrist. I only went for a very brief time. About a few months. I stopped going suddenly and never went back. Never received a diagnosis of any kind and am not sure if there are still records of it available. I want to point out that my family has a history of mental illness and depression. My uncle on my dads side has been in and out of a psychiatric facility for over 20 years, mostly in. I was told that my biological mother suffers from depression and some sort of mental illness as well. I do not know the specifics. I hope that after reading this, someone can offer some advice that will help me move forward.
Chris_WebMD_Staff responded:
HI aa and welcome

I wanted to make sure you saw this post from our member Susie Margaret at the top of the page. It includes some low cost and free help for you. I do feel you need to reach out for some help, the help you so much deserve. Click here for the post.

I don't think there is any need to worry about your last bouts with the doctors when you were younger, as I can only guess a new doc will want to make his/her own diagnoses, so I'm not sure past records would help. In any case take the steps you need to get the help you need to feel better. I'm glad you found us and again, welcome!

When the world says, Give up,
Hope whispers, Try it one more time.
~Author Unknown
Thomas L Schwartz, MD responded:
are your high or up spells lasting 4 or more days? Are they fueled or triggered by caffeine, alochol, coke drugs? If the former you may have a milder form of bipolar disorder. If the latter, then obviously it is drugs or lifestyle issues. But sustained mood elevations that happen for no good reason are often a bipolar issue. Perhaps look at the webMD Bipolar site, see if some of the symptoms match what you have etc. Talk to your family doc and ask for a referral to a specialist to confirm/or deny what you have. It could be lots of other things- anxiety, ADHD, personality traits- so a formal evaluation makes sense. your prognosis is actually pretty good if you get in and get treated
susiemargaret responded:
hello, AA --

the correct citation of free/low-cost resources for medical care, including counseling, got printed wrong in chrissy's post. it is actually .

-- susie margaret
what good is gold, or silver too, if your heart's not good and true -- hank williams, sr.
feelingoldlately responded:
Wow, It is like I am reading my story.

I guess that is the first thing you will realize.............

You are not the only one, and you are never alone with these symptoms.

I have felt exactly like this ever since I was in Kindergarten. My grandmother was a tad mentally ill. I think that is where it came from for me.

I have been battling this, and self medicating with booze and drugs until about 10 years ago. I gave up the booze etc. It has ggiven me clarity, but the feelings of ups and downs have not gone away.

I am currently taking Effexor, per my doctors instructions, but I still have the ups and downs. I remember telling my doctor, " I just want to feel good". What is there for that? I get no definite answer from him. I really do not think of suicide, but I think of what if I did commit it? My brain should not be in that space, but it is.

I am at the point where I realize that drugs (legal)most likely will not help. Ihave accepted that this is the way I am going to feel for the rest of my life. It sucks, but that is the way it is.

I find that talking to people helps. I even go to AA meetings to see how horrible off others are compared to me. You really hear some sad and scary stories there. It makes you a little more grateful.

The best thing to realize is that you are only required to do the best you can. In 100 years, no one will know about you, or the things you had done.....bad or good.

OK, I am off of my soap box now.

Good luck!
susiemargaret replied to feelingoldlately's response:
hello, F --

when is the last time you and your dr have re-evaluated your meds regime? it may be that a dosage increase, the addition of a second med, or a switch to a different med altogether would help.

dr. schwartz, our expert in this community, says that there are at least 20 antidepressants out there, and more are coming out each year. are you sure you've tried everything?

are you in therapy?

i send you caring thoughts and hope you will keep us posted on how you are doing.

-- susie margaret
what good is gold, or silver too, if your heart's not good and true -- hank williams, sr.

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