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    I hope this is the right place
    An_245009 posted:
    This is my first post here, so be gentle. I have been on Zoloft since after my child was born 10 years ago. I usually feel ok. Not on top of the world happy, but normal.
    So here's the problem. I recently read the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy and it seems that I have gotten so sad about my life. Why? I have a great, successful husband, new home, wonderful family and a good job. This is what every little girl wants to be happy. Why aren't I. These are the things I want and love. Why all of a sudden am I focusing in on little crap that means nothing? Why did this stupid book depress me? I know it's fiction but I can't help making comparisons. Have I become jaded, depressed, sick? You might say that something is lacking in my life to cause this depression, but there is nothing. Any suggestions,advice or help would be appreciated. Anyone else out there ever confuse or blur the lines of reality?
    chez1 responded:
    Hi there, this is the right place, welcome and i hope it helps.
    What you have written is words that could come out of my mouth verbatim, and what you have done is just confirmed what all my friends, family , dr and everyone here has been telling me is that "I am unwell", so for that I would like to thank you.

    Now onto helping you, depression is insidious, it can make us believe anything it wants, I think the trick is in not believing it, easier said than done I know.

    My first suggestion is for you to go see the dr and say that your mood has changed, that you are feeling sad and beginning to loose self-worth, it is ok to do that and if I have learnt nothing else this week, asking for help is the most important (although may be difficult) to do.

    Secondly, if possible confide in a friend, you don't have to go into detail but is she asks then tell, again I have found out that friends can take the truth no matter how hard it is for you to say it. It is also important to speak to your husband, I left this until last (well at least the details), I do think he needs to know how you are feeling so that he can support and help you.

    And lastly and not in this order and possible the most important thing you have to do is be kind to yourself, believe in yourself, be proud of yourself (even if it is for achieving a small thing), you are allowed to think about you and you are allowed to want to feel well

    I hope some of the above helps and that you manage to take care of yourself, please let us know how you are getting on, this is a great forum to explore feelings.

    Take care and sending hugs

    Chez x
    People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily....... Zig Ziglar
    CloudyDaySunnyHope responded:
    I completely understand how you feel. I feel that same way after reading those books. I feel as though, I wanted something like that, in some odd way. I wanted my husband to love me like Christian loved and did everything for Ana. I also feel as though I made so many mistakes in my life that I could have lived this fabulous lifestyle too.
    An_250229 responded:
    hey:-) an
    my name is nadine and i am from germany and my english is horrable, but ive got the same problems like you...
    but now your comment is 10month ago....
    i really want to know how you feel right now?
    i feel so bad since 3weeks after reading the trilogie of shades of grey....
    i live in a new house and i am married since 7 month with my perfect huseband! but now i feel sad and totally depressed!
    and i dont know why?

    so you are my hero if you can tell me how you feel right now?
    i am at the end of my feelings
    Oliviabud replied to CloudyDaySunnyHope's response:
    thats exactly how I feel, it surprises me that a book can make me feel this way.
    rohvannyn replied to Oliviabud's response:
    Could it be feelings of regret and a desire to break away from the normal routine? Perhaps even a desire for adventure and a wish to reconnect with the spouse in new ways? My own spouse and I have recently started breaking up our routine and doing things at differerent times. Even just doing our shopping in a different order helped.

    Could exploring what you really want in life, taking a little time for things that you have always wanted to get back to, or just exploring new interests with yoursel and your partner, help? It did a world of good for me, and it may be worth considering.

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