Depression Community

Hi Sue, sorry to hear you have been going through this for so long. Congratulations on your new job. I am always nervous starting a new job(I am 10 years younger, but I am looking for a job as well though I realize it is not the same I hope this helps), but sometimes it turned out better than expected. I hope this is the case for you. Hang in there, sounds like you want to enjoy the job, therefore, will probably learn it more quickly than someone who is just going through the motions. don't sell yourself short - you can do it.
I am glad you are going to speak to a counselor tomorrow and I hope they will help you feel more at ease on your first day at your new job.as well.

please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Hi Sue, welcome back. I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time of it just now, I am finding it difficult to find the right words for you regarding work, you obviously have to start this job but i so feel your anxiety, I suppose the best I can offer is big deep breaths, maybe go in before you are due to start to get a feel for the place and maybe get to know some of the staff there before it is time to start.
To be honest, my best advice is focus on the fact that you do not have that much longer to work, you may find that you like it and it may be nothing like working, (then you wont want to stop!)
Thinking of you, hope you get a chance to speak to your counsellor tomorrow and you get some benefit from it.
Take care and keep posting
Chez x

Thank you for your response and your support regarding the new job as it is very helpful to me.

I just want to like the job that I do and not dread having to go to work each day, because there is nothing worse than hating your job especially when you have no choice and have to work.

Are you out of work and looking or do you have a job and are looking ? I do hope that you have a job and are looking and if not have you been put of work long and type of work do you do?
I also hope that you can find a job that you enjoy as well and that one comes along very soon.

Sue

Thank you for your response to my starting a new job. Your post was very helpful and meant alot to me.

I am just so scared to have to start over and hope that all goes well, as there is nothing worse than hating your job and having to dread going to work.

I just hope that it works out and is a good job that I like doing, as i do have a strong work ethic but it helps to like your job to stay motivated and want to learn.

I am already becoming so anxious about next Monday.

Hopefully seeing the counselor tomorrow will help me,

You take care also and once again thank you for your support.

Sue

Hi Sue, I do hope you find you like this job and your anxiety level goes down once you take your first step in the door (optmistically - I hope it is gone prior to that.). You are correct, it is so much nicer when you have a job that you like and look forward to when you wake up in the morning.. My last job was a nightmare due to a new boss and it was unhealthy for me to remain, so I was lucky to be able to retire with a small pension. I am looking for a job now to supplement my pension I live modestly and do not have a family, but things are so expensive (I know I don't need to tell you that). I rent vice own and they just increased my rent this past year.

My anxiety increases even when I walk out the door to apply, so I can relate to the anxiety and know it is a tough one to shake..but you can do it .

My job was mostly personnel administrative in nature w/ some computer experience (not much but some).

Thanks for the support for me as well

Hi Sue, how are you doing today? I'm hoping you will say your anxiety level has gone down and you are now looking forward to Monday. (I know, easier said than done, but I hope the counselor did help decrease your anxiety about starting your new job).

Please let us know how it went with your counselor and how you are doing.

Good Afternoon.

How goes it with you, are you doing well? As I know that depression does take its toll as I have better days than others like I think all of us who battle depression do and its hard when people around you don't understand what it is like.

Thank you so much for caring about me to follow up.

Seeing the counselor did help relieve some of my anxiety by talking with her about my feelings in starting a new job and she did give me very positive feedback about dealing with my feelings. She wants me to come back in two weeks to discuss the new job with her and to see how everything is going.

However, I am still feeling scared and nervous butr I guess that is only natural, its still so hard to start over and learn a new job again as I am so afraid of failure or not liking the job. I have made wrong decisions in the past about jobs and don't want that to happen again.

I am trying not to think about next Monday however it is hard not to. Trying to stay as positive as I possibly can.

My husband is taking off Thursday and Friday so that we can spend some time together before I start my job since I won't have any time off for a while which is going to rough with the summer here and my husband having vacation time and taking days off when I can,t.

I may however havre another dilemma, I went to shadow for another position today that I had interviewed for last Friday and I really liked it, I know that I shouldnt have since I already accepted a job offer but this job is so close to home, and I really liked the job as it would offer more challenge and diversification than the job that I accepted working in a call center again in the healthcare field..

I may be offered this position and if I am I may very well accept, depending on the salary. I just want to do what makes me happy and part of me feels like the job that I accepted I did so just to have ajob because I have been looking for a whiew and either haven;t heard back from anyone or if I did and went to interview I didn;t get offered the job.

I am suppose to hear back from this company by tomorrow, I know that the other company wouldn't be happy if I called them back and refused the job, I just don't know what to do as I am so conflicted, but I am the one who has to go to work everyday.

Thanks for your support and listening to me.


Sue

keep fighting and keep us posted. I have been unemployed for 4 years now and having to rely on wife's income which kills my self-image as man and as a provider.

Good Morning.

Thank you for your reply.

I just hope that all goes well with this job and that I like it.
Now that i have been home for several months, it is really going to be hard to get back into a routine, as at first I was so depressed that i didn't want to get up and as time went by i started feeling better about myself to the point now where i am used to being home and rather enjoy it, I wish that i could just work part time but financially that isn't feasible.

I do feel empathy for you regarding your job situation.. However, you shouldn't have a poor self image reagarding the fact that you don't have a job as it is not your fault.as we all know how the encomy and job market has been like. i guess the only silver linig is that you are not by yourself and you have income coming in. Don't be too hard on yourself and beat your self up as that is what I was doing and it does take a toll on your mental health.


I know that it is easier said than done, because I felt the same way over these several months while I was unemployed and my husband was working I felt like I had no self identiy without a job, however we are all individuals and we are more than a job.

What type of work are you seeking?

Sue

hello, sue --

my friend says, "don't borrow trouble." matthew 6:34 (KJV) says, "sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." loretta lynn sings, "one day at a time." what all of them mean is that today provides plenty of things to worry about, so there is no point in using up your time and energy in worrying about tomorrow, which will come plenty soon.

i know you are anxious and and scared about this new job; anybody would be. i've always been terrified before i started a new job, even when i knew that i could do it well and that it was exactly what i had been looking for. but it may turn out that all of your fears are completely unjustified -- that you will get along with your co-workers, that you will like them and they will like you, that you will like and be able to dive right into your duties -- and then consider how much time and energy you will have spent today, tomorrow, and this weekend focusing on problems that never materialized.

it was not a "wrong" decision to leave your old job for what you thought would be a new and better one. in fact, i think it would have been irrational for you to have passed up the opportunity for a new and better job just because you were nervous and scared about how things would work out.

it was not your fault that your initial prospective employer failed to open the office you thought you would be working in. there was no way you could know that would happen. would you consider it a "wrong" decision if you had stumbled getting off the bus yesterday, had broken an arm and a leg, and had had to tell your prospective employer that you could not take the new job after all? i hope not. this situation is no different. sometimes things just don't work out, but that does not make your decision to have quit your old job a "wrong" one.

as for your apprehension that you would be tempted to take the job you are "shadowing" if it is offered to you, well, i don't see anything wrong with doing that, frankly. indeed, i think it would be irrational not to. your first obligation is to do what is best for you and your husband; my reasoning is, your loyalty to an employer where you have not even started working should be pretty low compared to your loyalty to your husband and yourself.

i read all of the time about how turnover at call centers is really high and that one of the reasons why is because they are such stressful places to work. that implies to me that even if you did take that job, your employer would not be very surprised if you left it relatively quickly. in addition, if your prospective employer decided to lay off a bunch of workers on monday morning, how much time and energy do you think that employer would spend this weekend in worrying about someone (namely, you) who hadn't even started working there yet? none, that's how much.

let's compare the two positions --

-- "shadowing" job vs. call center job --

-- more money vs. less money
-- closer to home vs. farther away from home
-- interesting and challenging (i.e., stimulating) vs. the same thing over and over again, all day, every day (i.e., boring)
-- not hired yet vs. already hired
-- have to find another job, then retire at 62 if it doesn't work out vs. have to find another job, then retire at 62 if it doesn't work out
-- unemployment benefits expire in three months vs.unemployment benefis expire in three months

hmmm ... "shadowing" job, three pros, two neutrals, one con; call center job, one pro, two neutrals, three cons. so far it looks to me as if the "shadowing" job is way ahead on advantages. however, weighing the relative pros and cons of these two jobs and determining which one is better for you is a decision only you can make. it is not my characterization of each job that matters, it is yours.

whatever you decide, we will be here to give you encouragement and emotional support. i send you caring thoughts; please write and let us know how you are doing and what you decide.

-- susie margaret

Hey Sue, i agree with SM on the shadowing job, but what ever you decide I hope you will be happy doing the job you select. Also, easier said than done, but agree with no worries today about something that may or may not happen tomorrow.
Glad you husband is taking time off to spend with you. Hopefully that will put your mind in a better place.

Dear Susie margaret,

How wonderful you are to send me this reply as i have been so indecisive since yesterday about what to do and i have to make a decision by today as i was to start the customer service/call center position on monday and also the other job i was offered as well. i appreciate the input that you have given me as i really needed an objective opinion and you have been so helpful by the advice that you have given me.

part of the reason that i did leave my original job was due to the fact that I was in a call center all day long and it was very stressful being tied to your desk all day long in a cublicle only being able to be off the phone for lunch and breaks it was such a restrictive environment plus having to meet productivity standards as well , this call center was for a large hospital system. I don't think the job that i was offered in this other healthcare insurance company would be quite as stressful but its still a call center and I would be tied to a desk all day again quoting benefits and claims status and i really don't want to do this again as to be honest i really think that I took this job out of need not want, but maybe it would work out but do i want to take that chance again? I don't think that this company has alot of turn over as i really don't see alot of job ads on any of the webstes. I'm sure that it would be a good company to work for.

The other job that i shadowed for at least I know what it would about even though it is brand new company contracting their service for a large hospital system and it would be a new challenge for me to learn something new, even though it would take time to learn, as would any new job. the lady that i did shadow with had only just started as well.

i would need to go for training down to dayton for 2 1/2 days next week and guess its my fear of getting lost on the way to dayton (as I have a lousy sense of direction) has also made me anxious.

I jusy hope that i am doing the right thing as the call center job would bring much stability and this company has a contract with this hospital system however if things don't work out and the hospital is not happy i could be out of a job , but i guess that could happen with any job.

I guess fear of the unknown is holding me back from seeking a new venture, but nothing ventured nothing gained.

i know that I have to make my decision and move forward and not look back and regret waht i did as I am good for doing that and will be thinking I should have taken the other job, as I am always good at second guessing myself, as I always have a difficult time making a decision.

i do really apprecaite your support.

Sue

Dear Susie Margaret,

Good Afternoon.

After weighing all the pros and cons of the two jobs that I was offered, I decided to go with the company that is contracted with the Cleveland Clinc, due to the fact that I won't have to be in a call center environment. i know that i will need to learn something new all over again but this job seems to present a greater challenge to me. I have to go for training down in Dayton starting on Monday and come home Wednesday afternoon, I am just so worried about getting lost on my way down as i have a lousy sense of direction. my husband is going to supply me with good directions as he is on the road alot for his work and i did mapquest as well.

I feel that the job that I took although not perfect as what job is will give me greater flexibility in my work day as there is not a superviosr there and the other lady who started last Monday is very nice and she and I will be working together as a team and there is alot of diversification in this job, seeing patients, paperwork and computer work. I jus hope that i can do a good job as I do have a very strong work ethic and good customer service skills.

i had to call the company where I had already accepted the job and tell them that I wasn't starting on Monday, which i really felt bad about but I need to do what makes me happy and hopefully I made the right choice..

I just hope that i made the right decision as I certainly don't want to be unhappy in my job for the next 5 1/2 years until i can retire. as I have made some bad decisions in the past.

I am just so worried about starting anew, however I am prone to big time worry about everything.

I just hope that god isn't mad at me since I turned down the other job that I had accepted last friday to take another position and that he isn't going to punish me because of it.

once again thank you for all of your support and help in this matter. i really do appreciate it.

I guess that I just need some positive reinforcement.

Sue

Hey Sue, I am happy that you were able to come to a decision that was positive for you, even though you had to call and tell the other job you would not be starting. God will not punish you for that - he will be happy you chose to do something that makes you happy and sounds like you will also touch a lot of other lives in a positive way.
CONGRATULATIONS!

I understand the anxiety that comes from traveling to places you are not familiar with. I finally broke down and bought "LIB" (that is what i call my GPS - a lady in a box...). It has been so helpful in several situations. Might be something you might be interested as well. (all price ranges).

good luck with your new job and keep us posted on how you are doing.