Depression Community

Hi ForgottenKitty and welcome. People who call themselves friends can be pretty ... unfriendly. There are a lot of people in my life whom call me a friend, but I only hear from them when they need a shoulder cry on. But this is a good group of folks.

I don't know NJ that well. Here's a link to support groups in NJ: http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=support_findsupport

Thank you, Jeune1 for answering me. I've read several posts and people seem to understand each other. Right now even those close to me have turned away and I feel really really alone. Not a good place for someone with depression and scared .. I have been preached tolerance, funny isn't it? I will look into that link you posted and hopefully it will take me somewhere ...

hello, K --

i am so sorry you've been having such a rough time. believe me, you are not alone.

we're glad you found us. we are all here to help each other, we all have experience with depression in one way or another (we "get it"), and we do not judge. we hope that you will write as much and as often as you want/need.

in addition to the link that J provided above, you can find support groups thru NAMI, the national alliance on mental illness, http://www.nami.org .

for NAMI state contacts, go to http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=Your_Local_NAMI&Template=/CustomSource/AffiliateFinder.cfm&State=NJ .

for NAMI freehold, NJ, resources, go to http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=Your_Local_NAMI&Template=/CustomSource/LocalDetail.cfm&localID=0000000850&fromHL=no&state=NJ .

i did not find any NAMI contacts for edison, NJ.

to find other support groups --

-- MHA (mental health america), http://www.nmha.org/go/find_support_group ; you can find support groups by clicking on your state on the map;

-- check with hospice facilities near you;

-- call the depts of psychiatry at any large hospitals, psychiatric hospitals, medical schools, or nursing schools near you;

-- call the depts of psychology and/or social work at any graduate schools, nursing schools, or divinity schools near you;

-- look in the "community calendar" section of your local newspaper; and

-- do an internet search under -- (depression "support group" "name of your town" "name of your state") -- this will bring up many sites, but if you are looking for in-person rather than on-line support groups, you will probably be able to narrow down the most helpful sites fairly quickly.

i hope this gives you some places to start. i send you caring thoughts; please keep us posted on how you are doing.

-- susie margaret

I have to say you guys are great! Your caring words have helped me through this dark periods so very much! Just to know there are people out there that care.. I have used all your ideas and suggestions and have found some resourses. I also have noticed a change - in me. I see that just knowing 'someone' cares made a difference. I have suffered the loss of both my parents (6 months apart), a car accident, the loss of a dear cousin, the death of my beloved pet, been the victim of bullying at work (new employee) hired by Manager and she got me Suspended from work and I almost lost my job.BUT I fought if with everything I had. And where I live - I live across from a cop and he and his family feel that because I live alone my parking area is theirs .. all in relatively a small amount of time ...it all has become too much for me and my only sibling has NO patience for me and my depression I felt like the world was closing in around me and I had no one. And there you all were. Amazing what good support can do. I WILL be telling the Therapist about you all wonderful people when my sister and I go on Monday. Depression sucks and I fight it every day. I am so happy I found you. Talking helps and so does typing ... So Susie and J I send you HUGS

hello again, F --

i'm so glad we were able to help!

i hope you have a good apptmt with your therapist. please keep us posted on how you are doing.

i send you caring thoughts.

-- susie margaret

Well, therapy went terrible, I got yelled and screamed at. Seems like my depression and unhappiness is too much for my sister. She just can't bear to watch me so unhappy ... so there you go! The only person in the whole wide world that I have can't stand to see me so unhappy sooooo she's baling out. Good for her. I get stuck with me. Alone. I wish I could bale out. Oh boy, all the meds in the world can't fix that hurt, huh?

ForgottenKitty you are not alone. I thought my wife would understand whats wrong me being Bipolar, Substance abuser, Panic Disorder-my wife did the same as your sister but I came to this group and was able to open and share. Somebody is usally at all times. Just ask, be willing, open, and honest.YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS ALONE.

hello forgottenkitty, i am sorry to hear your therapy went so wrong. i was surprised that you and your sister go together and was thinking that sounds like a good idea. obviously not. maybe if you and your sister went separately to therapy, get settled in, perhaps you both can try again to get through another therapy together during this dark time.

recently having lost my father, the loss of a parent can seem unbareable, i cannot imagine having lost both within 6 months.my heart goes out to you.

I hope you continue the therapy even if you have to go alone. i believe you will find it will be better, as your sister cannot handle it right now(perhaps she is lost as well and is not bailing out, she just doesnt know how to help you until she helps herself). please go gently with each other. you both are only trying to survive this dark time.

as was mentioned before, this is a good community(family). everyone is welcome with open arms.

please continue posting and letting us know how you are doing.

(((hugs)))

I'm so sorry your therapy was terrible. Was the yelling from your sister or your therapist? I can't imagine a therapist actually yelling at you, yet it seems like something a sister should not do either. Sounds like she might need some help too.
I definitely second the suggestion to go alone. That way you get the undivided attention of the therapist.
I hope you can have a much more supportive session next time, and know that we are here for you any time you need.

I do see a Therapist on my own and will continue to do so. The Therapist we saw together didn't like the yelling, my sister was yelling at me, you see she lives in the 'perfect' world, says she sees the glass half full and is basically happy. My unhappiness is too much for her and she believes she does soooo much for me BUT she actually said that I talk too much about my 'problems'!! The Therapist actually called her on this ... my sister is manipulative and will twist a conversation to her liking. This is part of the problem. I am beginning to think my sister's behavior can be part of the problem? She sometimes makes me feel like I'm "sick" .. Just this past weekend, we had plans, which she cancelled because a friend of hers needed her ... so when I say I need you, she goes off on me - "I just can't do enough for you!" I'm like WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I then feel like a little girl looking for attention and my big sister and this cycle continues ... She just told me "I can't bear to see you so unhappy" so what does that mean? She outta here ... abondons me when I need her the most! It's like childhood all over again ..

Sorry you went through that. A person who flips out on you during YOUR therapist's appointment is probably a person who can't deal with NOT being the center of attention. Yucky.

I've also learned that sometimes people like to "help" others in order to feel superior to them and have something to hold over their heads. Meanwhile I guess they think they're racking up celestial brownie points for being so "nice." It stinks because you want the help but it always seems to come with a smack on the nose at a later point.

Speaking from a personal perspective, my mother is like this and I've had to cut off communications with her. I have enough problems without the mind games. You just can't talk to her. Or you can, but like your sister she'll twist what you say and then call you crazy if you deny her interpretation. Maybe one day I'll be able to handle it but right now, no.

So long story short I guess, sometimes you have to take a few steps away from people who are close to you, if you want to get your head straight.

Something else I'm thinking of, is that maybe your sister is using her own fake happiness or optimism to ignore the grief of losing both your parents. She maybe is focusing on YOU as the problem because YOU are dragging her down, whereas in reality I bet she's like a fragile glass about to crack wide open. All that hurt will come out, she'll have to feel it, and it will undoubtedly be your fault...when in reality it's HER fault for not being willing to acknowledge it.
My mom always told my sis and I "your sister should be your best friend"...I bet that all you need right now from your sister is for her to sit with you, to cry with you, and for you to both hold each other as you grieve together over the loss of your parents. I bet you don't really need her to be strong for you, you just need her to be THERE...to understand...and to listen. I'm sorry she doesn't "get" that, and that you are unable to get that from her. Perhaps, when her world falls apart and she is left to pick up the pieces, then she will understand what you are going through.

Jeune, I agree, sometimes it's best with people like this just to put some distance between you and that person, for your own benefit.
ForgottenKitty, you are always welcome to tell us your troubles, and we will do our best to support you.

But I am going through it alone. My sister can't stand to see me so unhappy. What the heck does that even mean? So don't look at me! What an 'out' that is! I can't stand to be this unhappy so where do I go? No one at home, sometimes it's just all too much ..