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DEEPELY DEPRESSED-NEED HELP-NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE
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downfall posted:
Good morning.

I am now in the depths of despair over my job situation. How could I have been so stupid to make the wrong job choice and now I am left with nothing at all. if I had taken the call center.customer service job I would be going to work right now and not having to deal with this,

I am so very very depressed over this whole matter that I cannot stand myself anymore and I am really thinking about ending it all for good.

I pushed myself to get up this morning as i really wanted to stay in bed and to come upstairs and get on the computer as it is my only diversion right now.

now I have to wait to hear from the job that i did interview for yesterday for the 8 open customer service positions that they have open, however that won't be until next week and i may not get one either. I was just a little concerned about the interview as the HR person said thay may show you around the department but the people that I interviewed with did not so either they don't do that didn't have time or were not interested in me, my husband says taht I read into everything too much.

i I do have another interview on Tuesday however.

I am now in the depths of despair and desolation over my extremely bad job choice. i cannot stand myself anymore and am filled with so much self loathing and self hatred.

i am in this house all by myself as my husband is gone to work. i am going to have to keep myself busy. Its going to be a long lonely day

I worry so abput everything the past present and future and don't know which way to turn anymore.

All these months that i desparately wanted a job and then i get two offers and turn down one to take the other and it didn't work out.

I am so glad that my daughter does not live at home anymore as I am so embarassed by what happened that she doesn't have to know.

I am still so embarassed and ashamed that a few people at church know what happened and I can't face them anymore and want to go to another church. I also wonder what the neighbors think of me being home all the time.

The weekend is coming and I don't want to be so depressed that i can't function at all as it is father's day and my dad is coming for dinner on Sunday.

I am so very upset that I am sitting here in tears.

I don't know which way to turn anymore as i feel that my life is over.

My husband is staying positive and supportive of me but i know that he is not happy about what happened and is worried about me finding another job as well.

Please please help me. As I really cannot go on anymore, as I feel like all of my self worth is tied up in a job.

I am going to go look for jobs on the computer now.

Sue

Sue
10 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:DEEPELY DEPRESSED-NEED HELP-NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONEGood morning.<br /> <br />I am now in the depths of despair over my job situation. How could I have been so stupid to make the wrong job choice and now I am left with nothing at all. if I had taken the call center.customer service job I would be going to work right now and not having to deal with this,<br /> <br />I am so very very depressed over this whole matter that I cannot stand myself anymore and I am really thinking about ending it all for good.<br /> <br />I pushed myself to get up this morning as i really wanted to stay in bed and to come upstairs and get on the computer as it is my only diversion right now.<br /> <br />now I have to wait to hear from the job that i did interview for yesterday for the 8 open customer service positions that they have open, however that won't be until next week and i may not get one either. I was just a little concerned about the interview as the HR person said thay may show you around the department but the people that I interviewed with did not so either they don't do that didn't have time or were not interested in me, my husband says taht I read into everything too much.<br /> <br />i I do have another interview on Tuesday however.<br /> <br />I am now in the depths of despair and desolation over my extremely bad job choice. i cannot stand myself anymore and am filled with so much self loathing and self hatred.<br /> <br />i am in this house all by myself as my husband is gone to work. i am going to have to keep myself busy. Its going to be a long lonely day<br /> <br />I worry so abput everything the past present and future and don't know which way to turn anymore.<br /> <br />All these months that i desparately wanted a job and then i get two offers and turn down one to take the other and it didn't work out.<br /> <br />I am so glad that my daughter does not live at home anymore as I am so embarassed by what happened that she doesn't have to know.<br /> <br />I am still so embarassed and ashamed that a few people at church know what happened and I can't face them anymore and want to go to another church. I also wonder what the neighbors think of me being home all the time.<br /> <br />The weekend is coming and I don't want to be so depressed that i can't function at all as it is father's day and my dad is coming for dinner on Sunday.<br /> <br />I am so very upset that I am sitting here in tears. <br /> <br />I don't know which way to turn anymore as i feel that my life is over.<br /> <br />My husband is staying positive and supportive of me but i know that he is not happy about what happened and is worried about me finding another job as well.<br /> <br />Please please help me. As I really cannot go on anymore, as I feel like all of my self worth is tied up in a job.<br /> <br />I am going to go look for jobs on the computer now.<br /> <br />Sue<br /> <br />Sue
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Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff responded:
Hi Sue -

I see you have received some great support and advice on other threads, please read and take to heart what our community is telling you.

I am so sorry you feel such regret and despair over the job situation. Please, please understand, your self worth is not tied up in a job. As many have said you are defined much more than a job.

As my husband has said to me when I have agonized whether or not to accept a position - "If it doesn't work out or you don't like it what's the worst thing that can happen? You can quit, no big deal." I know easier said than done!

If you want to talk with someone please call a crisis line, you deserve to feel good about whatever decision you make.

One more thought, I saw this this morning on Facebook and thought about you -
"Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can't build on it; it's only good for wallowing in." "015 Katherine Mansfield

Only look forward and make it a point to enjoy your day and your weekend,
Elizabeth
Report This| Share this:DEEPELY DEPRESSED-NEED HELP-NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONEHi Sue - <br /><br />I see you have received some great support and advice on other threads, please read and take to heart what our community is telling you.<br /><br />I am so sorry you feel such regret and despair over the job situation. Please, please understand, your self worth is not tied up in a job. As many have said you are defined much more than a job.<br /><br />As my husband has said to me when I have agonized whether or not to accept a position - "If it doesn't work out or you don't like it what's the worst thing that can happen? You can quit, no big deal." I know easier said than done!<br /><br />If you want to talk with someone please call a <a href="http://www.webmd.com/help/crisis-resources?printing=true">crisis line,</a> you deserve to feel good about whatever decision you make.<br /><br />One more thought, I saw this this morning on Facebook and thought about you - <br /> "Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can't build on it; it's only good for wallowing in." "015 Katherine Mansfield<br /><br />Only look forward and make it a point to enjoy your day and your weekend,<br />Elizabeth
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jaws86 replied to Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff's response:
Downfall, I really do understand your despair about your job situation. In 2008 I was let go after being impaired at work as a nurse. I have been unable to find a job since then. I was ashamed and depressed that I did not have any other skills other jobs pertaining to the medical field. Nobody gave me a break until April 2009 I had a 3-day stint with Walmart where I made my injuries work. I am applying for Disability but have not had my hearing yet. There is not a day that goes by that I looked at my past and wonder what could have been. I would rather work than take Disability, but nobody will give me a chance. My wife has a good paying job so that it is not hurting as bad. Hang in there, stay close to your friends and the friends you will make her. Hang on.
Report This| Share this:DEEPELY DEPRESSED-NEED HELP-NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONEDownfall, I really do understand your despair about your job situation. In 2008 I was let go after being impaired at work as a nurse. I have been unable to find a job since then. I was ashamed and depressed that I did not have any other skills other jobs pertaining to the medical field. Nobody gave me a break until April 2009 I had a 3-day stint with Walmart where I made my injuries work. I am applying for Disability but have not had my hearing yet. There is not a day that goes by that I looked at my past and wonder what could have been. I would rather work than take Disability, but nobody will give me a chance. My wife has a good paying job so that it is not hurting as bad. Hang in there, stay close to your friends and the friends you will make her. Hang on.
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downfall replied to Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff's response:
Dear Elizabeth,

Good Afternoon.

Thank you for responding to me.

I just cannot get past feeling like I have no self worth without a job it seems to be an obsession with me one that I can't get past.

I know that the community has been very supportive of me and it means alot to me and do so appreciate it as it has helped me. .

I just wish i had never made the decision that i did concerning the two jobs and the one that I took didn't work out as I struggled so during the training and knew it wasn't the right job for me, so now I am left with nothing but despair and desolation.

Its so hard for me not to look back and regret the past as that is all that I think about even though i know that it does no good.

I just have such a hard time moving forward its almost impossible for me to do so.

My husband is supportive however I know that a few people from church are still judging and critizing me due to the job situation since a few knew about it and now I feel like a fool and so embarassed that I will not go there anymore, I have to look for another church.
I just feel lost without a job as my husband is working and then I feel guitly being home although I do look for a job everyday, but I may never find another opportunity again, then when my unemployment runs out I don't know what will happenand then i also start to obsess about the present and future as well.

My life is ruined as far as I am concerned and I don't have anything to live for as I am ashamed and embarassed as this turn of events, and calling a crisis line is not going to help me. amhome all day by myself no one to talk to and get so lonely that then all I think about is my job situation.
Maybe I could stay home and not be so worried about not having a job but its our finances that I worry about so much.

I know that I am not enjoying today and probably not the weekend as well.

Just want to get out of this life as I really can't go on knowing the mess that i ahve made of everything, why didn't I atke the other job as I would be working today and everything would be fine.

Sue
Report This| Share this:DEEPELY DEPRESSED-NEED HELP-NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONEDear Elizabeth,<br /> <br />Good Afternoon.<br /> <br />Thank you for responding to me.<br /> <br />I just cannot get past feeling like I have no self worth without a job it seems to be an obsession with me one that I can't get past.<br /> <br />I know that the community has been very supportive of me and it means alot to me and do so appreciate it as it has helped me. .<br /> <br />I just wish i had never made the decision that i did concerning the two jobs and the one that I took didn't work out as I struggled so during the training and knew it wasn't the right job for me, so now I am left with nothing but despair and desolation.<br /> <br />Its so hard for me not to look back and regret the past as that is all that I think about even though i know that it does no good.<br /> <br />I just have such a hard time moving forward its almost impossible for me to do so.<br /> <br />My husband is supportive however I know that a few people from church are still judging and critizing me due to the job situation since a few knew about it and now I feel like a fool and so embarassed that I will not go there anymore, I have to look for another church.<br />I just feel lost without a job as my husband is working and then I feel guitly being home although I do look for a job everyday, but I may never find another opportunity again, then when my unemployment runs out I don't know what will happenand then i also start to obsess about the present and future as well.<br /> <br />My life is ruined as far as I am concerned and I don't have anything to live for as I am ashamed and embarassed as this turn of events, and calling a crisis line is not going to help me. amhome all day by myself no one to talk to and get so lonely that then all I think about is my job situation.<br />Maybe I could stay home and not be so worried about not having a job but its our finances that I worry about so much.<br /> <br />I know that I am not enjoying today and probably not the weekend as well.<br /> <br />Just want to get out of this life as I really can't go on knowing the mess that i ahve made of everything, why didn't I atke the other job as I would be working today and everything would be fine.<br /> <br />Sue
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downfall replied to jaws86's response:
Dear Jaws 86

Good Afternoon.

Thank you for your concern reagrding my situation and I am truly sorry for what has happened to you in the past. Everyone deserves a second chance.

desparation and despair are what I am now facing ever day and it is getting worse, wrong decision, wrong choices and now no where to go no job prospects except for one interview I had yesterday have to wait until next week to hear back and an interview next Tuesday.

Don;t know what i am going to do if i don't find another job, am 60 years old but I have many good years left to work,

if only I had taken the other job offer instead of the one that i did that didn't work out things would now be so different for me. regrets, regrets every day.

I feel like a nothing without a job , even though my husband says I am not, but I worry all the time about our finances and once my unemployment runs out.

Also tired of people judging me and critizing when they don't have to work so how do they know what it is like?

I really don't have any friends except for one and when I call and tell her what I did I hope that she doesn't judge me as well because I am judging myself enough .

Everyone here has been so supportive and it means alot to me.

Don't know how much longer I can hang opn want to give up on myself and my life and if something doesn't come from next week I may have to do that. Its getting to hard to move forward with my life anymore. As I feel so much guilt and anxiety about everyhting that has happened.
Report This| Share this:DEEPELY DEPRESSED-NEED HELP-NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONEDear Jaws 86<br /> <br />Good Afternoon.<br /> <br />Thank you for your concern reagrding my situation and I am truly sorry for what has happened to you in the past. Everyone deserves a second chance.<br /> <br />desparation and despair are what I am now facing ever day and it is getting worse, wrong decision, wrong choices and now no where to go no job prospects except for one interview I had yesterday have to wait until next week to hear back and an interview next Tuesday.<br /> <br />Don;t know what i am going to do if i don't find another job, am 60 years old but I have many good years left to work, <br /> <br />if only I had taken the other job offer instead of the one that i did that didn't work out things would now be so different for me. regrets, regrets every day.<br /> <br />I feel like a nothing without a job , even though my husband says I am not, but I worry all the time about our finances and once my unemployment runs out.<br /> <br />Also tired of people judging me and critizing when they don't have to work so how do they know what it is like?<br /> <br />I really don't have any friends except for one and when I call and tell her what I did I hope that she doesn't judge me as well because I am judging myself enough .<br /> <br />Everyone here has been so supportive and it means alot to me.<br /> <br />Don't know how much longer I can hang opn want to give up on myself and my life and if something doesn't come from next week I may have to do that. Its getting to hard to move forward with my life anymore. As I feel so much guilt and anxiety about everyhting that has happened.
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jaws86 replied to downfall's response:
Some of the things I have tried is maybe temporary service or the place I looked-Walmart just to keep your head afloat until something else comes open. I know its not glamorus but the main thing with that I had to deal with is self-esteem,enjoyment of life because you feel like that having a job makes you more a part of this world. Something is going to open up and I am going to pray for you, if you dont mind, that God would stand with you in your situation. Sadly, Iam not a religous person but sometimes prayer is the only thing we have hold onto and claim- please keep us posted.
Report This| Share this:DEEPELY DEPRESSED-NEED HELP-NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONESome of the things I have tried is maybe temporary service or the place I looked-Walmart just to keep your head afloat until something else comes open. I know its not glamorus but the main thing with that I had to deal with is self-esteem,enjoyment of life because you feel like that having a job makes you more a part of this world. Something is going to open up and I am going to pray for you, if you dont mind, that God would stand with you in your situation. Sadly, Iam not a religous person but sometimes prayer is the only thing we have hold onto and claim- please keep us posted.
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downfall replied to jaws86's response:
Dear Jaws86

Good Afternoon and thanks for your help and concern

Thanks again for replying to my post. I have registered at temp agencies, but i guess that I will have to register with more as the ones that i have registered with don't have any work right now.
I was thinking walmart and I know that it is not glamarous but it would be a job, are they pretty open to hiring anyone and what is the pay?

I have 14 more weeks of unemployment so until then I really don't want to take a job to jeopardize that.

I just don' think tat I will ever get a job again. Even though i have to hear back from the interview that i was on yesterday , where they need to fill several positiona and the interview that i do have next Tuesday

I am still beating my upself up over the wrong decision that i made regarding a job and Iit will never stop as I so angry with myself, if I hadn't made the wrong decision I would now be working and my life would once again have some semblance of order to it.


Thank you for praying for me as I am not very religious either but I had been going to church with my husband.for a few months now.

I just wish that I could feel better about myself but I never will again if this is all I think that my self worth is in a job.

I just give up on my life, as nothing i do is ever the right thing and now i am paying the price for it with my mental health

Sue
Report This| Share this:DEEPELY DEPRESSED-NEED HELP-NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONEDear Jaws86<br /> <br />Good Afternoon and thanks for your help and concern<br /> <br />Thanks again for replying to my post. I have registered at temp agencies, but i guess that I will have to register with more as the ones that i have registered with don't have any work right now.<br />I was thinking walmart and I know that it is not glamarous but it would be a job, are they pretty open to hiring anyone and what is the pay?<br /> <br />I have 14 more weeks of unemployment so until then I really don't want to take a job to jeopardize that. <br /> <br />I just don' think tat I will ever get a job again. Even though i have to hear back from the interview that i was on yesterday , where they need to fill several positiona and the interview that i do have next Tuesday<br /> <br />I am still beating my upself up over the wrong decision that i made regarding a job and Iit will never stop as I so angry with myself, if I hadn't made the wrong decision I would now be working and my life would once again have some semblance of order to it. <br /> <br /> <br />Thank you for praying for me as I am not very religious either but I had been going to church with my husband.for a few months now.<br /> <br />I just wish that I could feel better about myself but I never will again if this is all I think that my self worth is in a job.<br /> <br />I just give up on my life, as nothing i do is ever the right thing and now i am paying the price for it with my mental health<br /> <br />Sue
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alaska_mommy replied to downfall's response:
Hi Sue, I'm sorry you're feeling so deeply in despair about your life. One thing I notice is that you seem to have the same problems going round and round and round in your head. Have you tried some herbal things like chamomile tea or anything like that, to maybe help calm you a bit? I bet you need some good sleep right about now. I was telling another person on this board about what I like to use for anxiety, Calms by Hyland's is good, for during the day, you can take a couple tablets to help with anxiety. For sleeping at night, you could try Tension Tamer tea, by Celestial Seasonings, I brew it double strength and add honey. Also for sleeping, by Natrol, "Sleep and Restore", it looks like a horse pill and has melatonin, valerian root and B vitamins and such. It really helps me get to sleep.
I just wonder if you were able to slow down your anxious thoughts a bit if it would help you not to feel so overwrought about your life.
Hang in there, Sue, we are all pulling for you. You know you are a special person to us no matter what you feel like anyone else thinks about you. We're here for you. Be sure to reach out and call one of the crisis support lines if you are feeling you're losing your grip on reality or losing your will to hang on. Hope you can get some good rest tonight. Hugs
Report This| Share this:DEEPELY DEPRESSED-NEED HELP-NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONEHi Sue, I'm sorry you're feeling so deeply in despair about your life. One thing I notice is that you seem to have the same problems going round and round and round in your head. Have you tried some herbal things like chamomile tea or anything like that, to maybe help calm you a bit? I bet you need some good sleep right about now. I was telling another person on this board about what I like to use for anxiety, Calms by Hyland's is good, for during the day, you can take a couple tablets to help with anxiety. For sleeping at night, you could try Tension Tamer tea, by Celestial Seasonings, I brew it double strength and add honey. Also for sleeping, by Natrol, "Sleep and Restore", it looks like a horse pill and has melatonin, valerian root and B vitamins and such. It really helps me get to sleep. <br />I just wonder if you were able to slow down your anxious thoughts a bit if it would help you not to feel so overwrought about your life. <br />Hang in there, Sue, we are all pulling for you. You know you are a special person to us no matter what you feel like anyone else thinks about you. We're here for you. Be sure to reach out and call one of the crisis support lines if you are feeling you're losing your grip on reality or losing your will to hang on. Hope you can get some good rest tonight. Hugs
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downfall replied to alaska_mommy's response:
Dear Alaska-Mommy,

Good morning. Its so hot hear today and going to be all week.

I wasn't on the computer alot last evening was reading and trying to keep my mind of the past. I was by myself last evening as my husband was out and it was hard so i tried to keep busy

I do know that I keep playing the same problems over and over again but its so hard to stop doing that. Its so hard for me to slow down my thoughts even though i try

I did get a good nights sleep, however the same issue is starting all over agin.

It took everything that i had just to get up this morning as I really wanted to just stay in bed.

At least its the weekend and my husband is home with me so it won't be as bad for me as i will have company but come monday will be back in the same boat lonely desolate

I still dread my decisions as now no job. instead of taking the safe choice i went with the not so safe choice which didn't work out and look what happened, if only i could go back in time and have anotehr chance this would all have worked out differently.

I still hate myself and contunue to beat myself up, my husband says move forward nothing else I can do, he is still supportive but I really think that he is very angry with me over what happened he just won't come out and tell me.

I am such so worried that I will never find another job. even . i do have the interview next tuesday and waiting to hear back from the customer service job 8 positions to fill hope to get one but may not don't want to get my hopes up.

trying not to let having no job make me feel worthless. still am feeling worthless, hopeless, desolate and in so much despair

I am going to find another church so i don't have to face the people who knew about my situation judge me anymore.

I do know that everyone here is pulling for me and i so apprecaie everyone's concern and help, but i am still so scared for the future.

Can you please tell me what your story is, since i have been hogging the spotlight all the time.

Hugs back to you and I do hope that you have a good day.

Sue
Report This| Share this:DEEPELY DEPRESSED-NEED HELP-NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONEDear Alaska-Mommy,<br /> <br />Good morning. Its so hot hear today and going to be all week.<br /> <br />I wasn't on the computer alot last evening was reading and trying to keep my mind of the past. I was by myself last evening as my husband was out and it was hard so i tried to keep busy<br /> <br />I do know that I keep playing the same problems over and over again but its so hard to stop doing that. Its so hard for me to slow down my thoughts even though i try <br /> <br />I did get a good nights sleep, however the same issue is starting all over agin.<br /> <br />It took everything that i had just to get up this morning as I really wanted to just stay in bed.<br /> <br />At least its the weekend and my husband is home with me so it won't be as bad for me as i will have company but come monday will be back in the same boat lonely desolate<br /> <br />I still dread my decisions as now no job. instead of taking the safe choice i went with the not so safe choice which didn't work out and look what happened, if only i could go back in time and have anotehr chance this would all have worked out differently.<br /> <br />I still hate myself and contunue to beat myself up, my husband says move forward nothing else I can do, he is still supportive but I really think that he is very angry with me over what happened he just won't come out and tell me.<br /> <br />I am such so worried that I will never find another job. even . i do have the interview next tuesday and waiting to hear back from the customer service job 8 positions to fill hope to get one but may not don't want to get my hopes up.<br /> <br />trying not to let having no job make me feel worthless. still am feeling worthless, hopeless, desolate and in so much despair<br /> <br />I am going to find another church so i don't have to face the people who knew about my situation judge me anymore.<br /> <br />I do know that everyone here is pulling for me and i so apprecaie everyone's concern and help, but i am still so scared for the future.<br /> <br />Can you please tell me what your story is, since i have been hogging the spotlight all the time.<br /> <br />Hugs back to you and I do hope that you have a good day.<br /> <br />Sue
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Demons2011 replied to downfall's response:
Sue, no matter what there is always someone to help, or call. It sounds really rough for you right now. Please consider calling a crisis line in your area. Please.
Report This| Share this:DEEPELY DEPRESSED-NEED HELP-NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONESue, no matter what there is always someone to help, or call. It sounds really rough for you right now. Please consider calling a crisis line in your area. Please.
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alaska_mommy replied to downfall's response:
Sue, don't worry about hogging the spotlight. I have heard it said that groups like this are like a circle of penguins...the ones on the inside of the circle are warm and sheltered, while the ones on the outside turn their backs to the cold to protect the inner ones. Then, when the outer ones get too cold, they trade places and are warmed by the others. Don't feel bad for taking your turn getting warmed by us as we shelter you from the elements. Soon it may be your turn to shelter someone else as they are wearied by the storm.
As long as you need to be in the middle, there is someone here to keep you warm.
Report This| Share this:DEEPELY DEPRESSED-NEED HELP-NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONESue, don't worry about hogging the spotlight. I have heard it said that groups like this are like a circle of penguins...the ones on the inside of the circle are warm and sheltered, while the ones on the outside turn their backs to the cold to protect the inner ones. Then, when the outer ones get too cold, they trade places and are warmed by the others. Don't feel bad for taking your turn getting warmed by us as we shelter you from the elements. Soon it may be your turn to shelter someone else as they are wearied by the storm. <br />As long as you need to be in the middle, there is someone here to keep you warm.
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