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Father's Day
Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff posted:
The last few days there has been much reference to Father's Day in your posts. Some will be celebrated as Father's. For some it will be a day of celebrating with your father, husband, uncle or other man in your life. For others, it will be a day of remembering and celebrating the men we have lost.
For me it will be both, celebrating with my husband, an incredible father to our daughter. And, celebrating and remember my father, a great man who taught me how to live, laugh and most of all enjoy life.
I have not been back to his grave since he passed away, I understand this is a comfort to many, but not for me. It's interesting how we all deal with pain and loss differently. No rules on how to feel or how to mourn or how to celebrate.
I hope this post will not be upsetting but a place to share what you have planned for Father's Day and to share who you will be celebrating.
Most important - For you dad's in this community - HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! Wishing you a wonderful, relaxing, day of what you want to do when you want to do it kind of day!
Elizabeth
For me it will be both, celebrating with my husband, an incredible father to our daughter. And, celebrating and remember my father, a great man who taught me how to live, laugh and most of all enjoy life.
I have not been back to his grave since he passed away, I understand this is a comfort to many, but not for me. It's interesting how we all deal with pain and loss differently. No rules on how to feel or how to mourn or how to celebrate.
I hope this post will not be upsetting but a place to share what you have planned for Father's Day and to share who you will be celebrating.
Most important - For you dad's in this community - HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! Wishing you a wonderful, relaxing, day of what you want to do when you want to do it kind of day!
Elizabeth
16 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:Father's DayThe last few days there has been much reference to Father's Day in your posts. Some will be celebrated as Father's. For some it will be a day of celebrating with your father, husband, uncle or other man in your life. For others, it will be a day of remembering and celebrating the men we have lost. <br /><br />For me it will be both, celebrating with my husband, an incredible father to our daughter. And, celebrating and remember my father, a great man who taught me how to live, laugh and most of all enjoy life. <br /><br />I have not been back to his grave since he passed away, I understand this is a comfort to many, but not for me. It's interesting how we all deal with pain and loss differently. No rules on how to feel or how to mourn or how to celebrate.<br /><br />I hope this post will not be upsetting but a place to share what you have planned for Father's Day and to share who you will be celebrating.<br /><br />Most important - For you dad's in this community - <b>HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! </b> Wishing you a wonderful, relaxing, day of what you want to do when you want to do it kind of day!<br /><br />Elizabeth
Demons2011 responded:
Elizabeth, Thanks for the wishes, they are a source of strength.
Report This| Share this:Father's DayElizabeth, Thanks for the wishes, they are a source of strength.
jaws86 replied to Demons2011's response:
At least some of yall had a father figure in youre life. My father died in Vietnam when I was four years and have a s***** step father who was no father figure much less a man figure. This is always the worst holiday of my life. So those who have a father living HAPPY Father's Day.
Report This| Share this:Father's DayAt least some of yall had a father figure in youre life. My father died in Vietnam when I was four years and have a s***** step father who was no father figure much less a man figure. This is always the worst holiday of my life. So those who have a father living HAPPY Father's Day.
Demons2011 replied to jaws86's response:
Jaws, we don't get to pick our parents any more than most parents get to pick us. Let's see my real father, alcoholic, retired Combat D.I. - abusive physically and emotionally. Still he was my father and I buried him along with mother without help from oldest brother and sister. My father figure was my middle brother who died when I was 13 on the day I was getting on a bus to spend the summer with him. He was a college sophomore. He was going to Eugene on a Wrestling scholarship when they were a powerhouse. He never lost a match until the finals of his freshman year. He was my childhood hero, father figure and mentor. I was lucky to have him as long as I did or at least until he died.
Report This| Share this:Father's DayJaws, we don't get to pick our parents any more than most parents get to pick us. Let's see my real father, alcoholic, retired Combat D.I. - abusive physically and emotionally. Still he was my father and I buried him along with mother without help from oldest brother and sister. My father figure was my middle brother who died when I was 13 on the day I was getting on a bus to spend the summer with him. He was a college sophomore. He was going to Eugene on a Wrestling scholarship when they were a powerhouse. He never lost a match until the finals of his freshman year. He was my childhood hero, father figure and mentor. I was lucky to have him as long as I did or at least until he died.
MyRain replied to Demons2011's response:
What a great example that it doesn't have to be a biological father. I'm so glad you had your brother, even if it was only for a relatively short time. What an impact he still has on your life! I wonder if he realizes just how much you love him and look up to him - I have a feeling he does 
Report This| Share this:Father's DayWhat a great example that it doesn't have to be a biological father. I'm so glad you had your brother, even if it was only for a relatively short time. What an impact he still has on your life! I wonder if he realizes just how much you love him and look up to him - I have a feeling he does <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/smile.gif" align="top" border="0">
I'm sorry for your loss, Jaws, and that your stepfather treated you quite badly. I hope there has been another male figure in your life that you have been able to look up to, get advice from, etc.
It's interesting - I don't remember where or when - but I heard a conversation about how we (meaning our generation) need to realize that we are now potential mentors to younger people. Boy was that an eye opener for me! What am I showing the younger generation?
My dad died over 20 years ago and I still miss him. It will be hard on Sunday.
It's interesting - I don't remember where or when - but I heard a conversation about how we (meaning our generation) need to realize that we are now potential mentors to younger people. Boy was that an eye opener for me! What am I showing the younger generation?
My dad died over 20 years ago and I still miss him. It will be hard on Sunday.
Report This| Share this:Father's DayI'm sorry for your loss, Jaws, and that your stepfather treated you quite badly. I hope there has been another male figure in your life that you have been able to look up to, get advice from, etc.<br />It's interesting - I don't remember where or when - but I heard a conversation about how we (meaning our generation) need to realize that we are now potential mentors to younger people. Boy was that an eye opener for me! What am I showing the younger generation?<br />My dad died over 20 years ago and I still miss him. It will be hard on Sunday.
jaws86 replied to Demons2011's response:
I know,Im a little touchyaround this date, i didnt mean to offend you and I apologize
Report This| Share this:Father's DayI know,Im a little touchyaround this date, i didnt mean to offend you and I apologize
I apologize to you too about my comment. Its been 43 years ago that he died and my mom told me that he got a Purple Heart in Korea and Vietnam where he died.
Report This| Share this:Father's DayI apologize to you too about my comment. Its been 43 years ago that he died and my mom told me that he got a Purple Heart in Korea and Vietnam where he died.
No apology needed. I truly am sorry for your loss. Do you do anything on F's day to honor him/in remembrance of him?
Report This| Share this:Father's DayNo apology needed. I truly am sorry for your loss. Do you do anything on F's day to honor him/in remembrance of him?
hey jaws, i did not take offense to your post, so no apology needed. i too lost my father, but in the korean war. my mother said when he came back he was not the same. (my stepfather is in the dictionary listed under 'evil').
i only mention this because you can request your father's dd-214 that lists all the schooling and awards he received while he was in via the internet. if you are interested in obtaining that (i.e. you don't already have it) let me know and i will post the information.
if you are wondering why you might want this other than you would like to know - you can make a 'military shadow box' that contains this information to honor him. if you do not know what that looks like google it, there are so many different styles out there. it took me a few months to get my fathers' dd214 and there were awards i did not know he had listed. He never talked about the war.
((((hugs))))
i only mention this because you can request your father's dd-214 that lists all the schooling and awards he received while he was in via the internet. if you are interested in obtaining that (i.e. you don't already have it) let me know and i will post the information.
if you are wondering why you might want this other than you would like to know - you can make a 'military shadow box' that contains this information to honor him. if you do not know what that looks like google it, there are so many different styles out there. it took me a few months to get my fathers' dd214 and there were awards i did not know he had listed. He never talked about the war.
((((hugs))))
Niteflier
Perhaps the Animal Spirit is so great that one day it may inspire compassion in the human heart. Nan Sea Love
Perhaps the Animal Spirit is so great that one day it may inspire compassion in the human heart. Nan Sea Love
Report This| Share this:Father's Dayhey jaws, i did not take offense to your post, so no apology needed. i too lost my father, but in the korean war. my mother said when he came back he was not the same. (my stepfather is in the dictionary listed under 'evil'). <br /> <br />i only mention this because you can request your father's dd-214 that lists all the schooling and awards he received while he was in via the internet. if you are interested in obtaining that (i.e. you don't already have it) let me know and i will post the information. <br />if you are wondering why you might want this other than you would like to know - you can make a 'military shadow box' that contains this information to honor him. if you do not know what that looks like google it, there are so many different styles out there. it took me a few months to get my fathers' dd214 and there were awards i did not know he had listed. He never talked about the war.<br /> <br /> <br />((((hugs))))
Hey Jaws, here is the website i spoke of. it will tell you what documentation is required to obtain the information. if you do try to retrieve a copy of his DD-214 and run into problems, please let me know.
http://www.archives.gov/
go under the section that mentions military records requests.
http://www.archives.gov/
go under the section that mentions military records requests.
Niteflier
Perhaps the Animal Spirit is so great that one day it may inspire compassion in the human heart. Nan Sea Love
Perhaps the Animal Spirit is so great that one day it may inspire compassion in the human heart. Nan Sea Love
Report This| Share this:Father's DayHey Jaws, here is the website i spoke of. it will tell you what documentation is required to obtain the information. if you do try to retrieve a copy of his DD-214 and run into problems, please let me know. <br /> <br /><a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.archives.gov/">http://www.archives.gov/</a> <br /> <br />go under the section that mentions military records requests.
alaska_mommy replied to jaws86's response:
jaws, it's normal to have feelings of anger or resentment that others get to enjoy something you can never have. It's like the feeling I would get when I'd see pregnant women after the miscarriage. Like a sucker-punch to the gut. Eventually that feeling fades. It's hard when someone you love dies, it probably feels almost like they abandoned you. My husband's father died when he was only 2 years old, and he had a doozy of a stepdad too. He has lifelong scars from that man. I still get angry soemtimes at his stepdad for the way he messed up DH. Of course the stepdad is still living, because that's just the way life works out. I'm sorry you're feeling so upset, and for you, I hope Father's Day passes quickly.
~Hugs~
~Hugs~
Report This| Share this:Father's Dayjaws, it's normal to have feelings of anger or resentment that others get to enjoy something you can never have. It's like the feeling I would get when I'd see pregnant women after the miscarriage. Like a sucker-punch to the gut. Eventually that feeling fades. It's hard when someone you love dies, it probably feels almost like they abandoned you. My husband's father died when he was only 2 years old, and he had a doozy of a stepdad too. He has lifelong scars from that man. I still get angry soemtimes at his stepdad for the way he messed up DH. Of course the stepdad is still living, because that's just the way life works out. I'm sorry you're feeling so upset, and for you, I hope Father's Day passes quickly. <br />~Hugs~
Im defintly no father or male figure.
I call my mother and wish her Happy Fathers Day-she was the only role model growing up that I had (Im losing it again)
Report This| Share this:Father's DayI call my mother and wish her Happy Fathers Day-she was the only role model growing up that I had (Im losing it again)
I would to try that shadow box. My mother said she buried him with both purple hearts
Report This| Share this:Father's DayI would to try that shadow box. My mother said she buried him with both purple hearts
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