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"normal" depression or worse?
feeltrappedandhopeless posted:
i'm new here. i'm tired of being depressed. it is draining in every way. i am 27 years old and i feel like i have no life. i have a job, which recently i'm questioning if i enjoy and want to stay at, which i'm sure are side effects of the depression. i have no friends and no bf, and on the outside i'm an attractive, nice fun person. the depression has made it hard to be the latter two tings.
it seems like a vicious cycle. meeting friends and people takes so much energy, and never ends well b/c people have their own lives already, so i get depressed about it, but then i'm depressed about feeling so lonely. i'm fortunate to have a great family, but i'm just awful to them because of all of this. i can't remember the last time i was happy. i float back and forth between feeling low and depressed, and feeling "normal" in a numb, fake sort of way. even when i'm not in one of the low blue stages, it's just a matter of minutes before i am again so the anticipation of that even ruins when i'm not in my low blue stages. i don't even know if any of this makes sense.
it just seems that life is pretty pointless. i am really trying to get the help i need. i see a psychologist every week, and was on cymbalta, which didn't help me. however i feel like i'm getting worse. i don't know if i need to do something more drastic like going to a 24-7 clinic where i get one-on-one help round the clock. logistically, i can't do that but i feel i need to. it just seems like the psychologist once a week isn't enough. i feel temporarily a little better after i see her, but none of my issues are getting fixed. are fixing these even possible? do i just need to be more patient? this isn't fun and i'm tired of being depressed. i have a negative attitude towards everything, and while logically speaking that sounds like depression, it really seems to me like that's just my personality and that's who i am, so why am i trying to fix who i am? there's altered reality for ya.
i really don't know what to do.
it seems like a vicious cycle. meeting friends and people takes so much energy, and never ends well b/c people have their own lives already, so i get depressed about it, but then i'm depressed about feeling so lonely. i'm fortunate to have a great family, but i'm just awful to them because of all of this. i can't remember the last time i was happy. i float back and forth between feeling low and depressed, and feeling "normal" in a numb, fake sort of way. even when i'm not in one of the low blue stages, it's just a matter of minutes before i am again so the anticipation of that even ruins when i'm not in my low blue stages. i don't even know if any of this makes sense.
it just seems that life is pretty pointless. i am really trying to get the help i need. i see a psychologist every week, and was on cymbalta, which didn't help me. however i feel like i'm getting worse. i don't know if i need to do something more drastic like going to a 24-7 clinic where i get one-on-one help round the clock. logistically, i can't do that but i feel i need to. it just seems like the psychologist once a week isn't enough. i feel temporarily a little better after i see her, but none of my issues are getting fixed. are fixing these even possible? do i just need to be more patient? this isn't fun and i'm tired of being depressed. i have a negative attitude towards everything, and while logically speaking that sounds like depression, it really seems to me like that's just my personality and that's who i am, so why am i trying to fix who i am? there's altered reality for ya.
i really don't know what to do.
5 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:"normal" depression or worse?i'm new here. i'm tired of being depressed. it is draining in every way. i am 27 years old and i feel like i have no life. i have a job, which recently i'm questioning if i enjoy and want to stay at, which i'm sure are side effects of the depression. i have no friends and no bf, and on the outside i'm an attractive, nice fun person. the depression has made it hard to be the latter two tings.<br /><br />it seems like a vicious cycle. meeting friends and people takes so much energy, and never ends well b/c people have their own lives already, so i get depressed about it, but then i'm depressed about feeling so lonely. i'm fortunate to have a great family, but i'm just awful to them because of all of this. i can't remember the last time i was happy. i float back and forth between feeling low and depressed, and feeling "normal" in a numb, fake sort of way. even when i'm not in one of the low blue stages, it's just a matter of minutes before i am again so the anticipation of that even ruins when i'm not in my low blue stages. i don't even know if any of this makes sense.<br /><br />it just seems that life is pretty pointless. i am really trying to get the help i need. i see a psychologist every week, and was on cymbalta, which didn't help me. however i feel like i'm getting worse. i don't know if i need to do something more drastic like going to a 24-7 clinic where i get one-on-one help round the clock. logistically, i can't do that but i feel i need to. it just seems like the psychologist once a week isn't enough. i feel temporarily a little better after i see her, but none of my issues are getting fixed. are fixing these even possible? do i just need to be more patient? this isn't fun and i'm tired of being depressed. i have a negative attitude towards everything, and while logically speaking that sounds like depression, it really seems to me like that's just my personality and that's who i am, so why am i trying to fix who i am? there's altered reality for ya.<br /><br />i really don't know what to do.
BeHapppy118 responded:
Hello there and welcome. I know how you are feeling and a lot of others here know how you're feeling too. I am also dealing with Depresion and Anxiety. It is draining I agree, but you need to just hang in there and keep going. And no, your life is not pointless and you have a right to be happy. Just my opinon but I think you should keep your job so that will keep your mind busy with other things and not feeling depressed. And I know it's hard because of the no energy but just do what you can.
It's good to hear though that you are trying to get the help you need. I am just throwing this out there but have you thought about trying another medication? At first I did not want medication, but I have to admit that it has helped me, not fully but I can say it has helped. I do believe it is possible to get better, I think it just takes time. Thinking positively also helps a bit I think because it gives you something to hope for. (If you can try thinking positively, I know it can be hard at times)
I don't really know what to say to be of much help, but knowing someone is there to listen is a start. I hope you start to feel better.
It's good to hear though that you are trying to get the help you need. I am just throwing this out there but have you thought about trying another medication? At first I did not want medication, but I have to admit that it has helped me, not fully but I can say it has helped. I do believe it is possible to get better, I think it just takes time. Thinking positively also helps a bit I think because it gives you something to hope for. (If you can try thinking positively, I know it can be hard at times)
I don't really know what to say to be of much help, but knowing someone is there to listen is a start. I hope you start to feel better.
Report This| Share this:"normal" depression or worse?Hello there and welcome. I know how you are feeling and a lot of others here know how you're feeling too. I am also dealing with Depresion and Anxiety. It is draining I agree, but you need to just hang in there and keep going. And no, your life is not pointless and you have a right to be happy. Just my opinon but I think you should keep your job so that will keep your mind busy with other things and not feeling depressed. And I know it's hard because of the no energy but just do what you can. <br /> <br />It's good to hear though that you are trying to get the help you need. I am just throwing this out there but have you thought about trying another medication? At first I did not want medication, but I have to admit that it has helped me, not fully but I can say it has helped. I do believe it is possible to get better, I think it just takes time. Thinking positively also helps a bit I think because it gives you something to hope for. (If you can try thinking positively, I know it can be hard at times)<br /> <br />I don't really know what to say to be of much help, but knowing someone is there to listen is a start. I hope you start to feel better.
feeltrappedandhopeless replied to BeHapppy118's response:
Thank you for your response. If I didn't keep this job, I would look for another one. I'm questioning whether or not I even want to stay in this field or not. I don't know if that's depression related or not.
With regards to the meds, like you, I am really hesitant to go on a different medication. In my mind, my depression is because of me, and views I need to fix and no medication can change the way I view things, and therefore feel. So I don't know, I just don't want to be dependent on them. I know you can slowly ween off of them, but....what a pain.
Thanks for responding and being there. I just feel such a jumble of emotions and feel like I have such a variety of issues that it feels overwhelming to think I'll ever be able to get the help I need to fix everything, even with a psychologist. What are your (or anyone's) thoughts on going to a 24/7 type of place where they can give you round the clock attention? When I'm done seeing my psychologist, I usually feel better shortly after, but that shortly fades and I'm back to where I usually am. I just wonder if essentially getting a psychologist 24/7 would be more beneficial, or if I should just stick with this because this is more realistic in maintaining a normal life.
With regards to the meds, like you, I am really hesitant to go on a different medication. In my mind, my depression is because of me, and views I need to fix and no medication can change the way I view things, and therefore feel. So I don't know, I just don't want to be dependent on them. I know you can slowly ween off of them, but....what a pain.
Thanks for responding and being there. I just feel such a jumble of emotions and feel like I have such a variety of issues that it feels overwhelming to think I'll ever be able to get the help I need to fix everything, even with a psychologist. What are your (or anyone's) thoughts on going to a 24/7 type of place where they can give you round the clock attention? When I'm done seeing my psychologist, I usually feel better shortly after, but that shortly fades and I'm back to where I usually am. I just wonder if essentially getting a psychologist 24/7 would be more beneficial, or if I should just stick with this because this is more realistic in maintaining a normal life.
Report This| Share this:"normal" depression or worse?Thank you for your response. If I didn't keep this job, I would look for another one. I'm questioning whether or not I even want to stay in this field or not. I don't know if that's depression related or not.<br /><br />With regards to the meds, like you, I am really hesitant to go on a different medication. In my mind, my depression is because of me, and views I need to fix and no medication can change the way I view things, and therefore feel. So I don't know, I just don't want to be dependent on them. I know you can slowly ween off of them, but....what a pain.<br /><br />Thanks for responding and being there. I just feel such a jumble of emotions and feel like I have such a variety of issues that it feels overwhelming to think I'll ever be able to get the help I need to fix everything, even with a psychologist. What are your (or anyone's) thoughts on going to a 24/7 type of place where they can give you round the clock attention? When I'm done seeing my psychologist, I usually feel better shortly after, but that shortly fades and I'm back to where I usually am. I just wonder if essentially getting a psychologist 24/7 would be more beneficial, or if I should just stick with this because this is more realistic in maintaining a normal life.
susiemargaret responded:
hello, F --
i am so sorry that you feel as if you are getting worse instead of better. i know how discouraging that is, believe me.
have you told your psychologist about going downhill? she needs to know. how long have you been seeing her? i ask because if you aren't making any tangible progress toward sorting out your issues, i'm wondering if it might be time to get a fresh perspective with a different therapist or a different style of therapy.
i do not believe that having "a negative attitude towards everything" is anyone's basic personality; i think that is your depression talking. that's one of the insidious things about depression -- it sneaks in when you are not looking and then colors every part of your life, including how you think about yourself.
our resident expert in this community, dr. schwartz, says that there are at least 20 antidepressants out there, in several different chemical classes. more psych meds go on the market every year, and just because the cymbalta/duloxetine did not help does not mean that nothing will help. would you consider asking your psychologist to refer you to a psychiatrist to evaluate whether a course of antidepressants might be appropriate?
i send you caring thoughts and hope that this week will be a better one for you. please keep us posted on how you are doing.
-- susie margaret
i am so sorry that you feel as if you are getting worse instead of better. i know how discouraging that is, believe me.
have you told your psychologist about going downhill? she needs to know. how long have you been seeing her? i ask because if you aren't making any tangible progress toward sorting out your issues, i'm wondering if it might be time to get a fresh perspective with a different therapist or a different style of therapy.
i do not believe that having "a negative attitude towards everything" is anyone's basic personality; i think that is your depression talking. that's one of the insidious things about depression -- it sneaks in when you are not looking and then colors every part of your life, including how you think about yourself.
our resident expert in this community, dr. schwartz, says that there are at least 20 antidepressants out there, in several different chemical classes. more psych meds go on the market every year, and just because the cymbalta/duloxetine did not help does not mean that nothing will help. would you consider asking your psychologist to refer you to a psychiatrist to evaluate whether a course of antidepressants might be appropriate?
i send you caring thoughts and hope that this week will be a better one for you. please keep us posted on how you are doing.
-- susie margaret
what good is gold, or silver too, if your heart's not good and true -- hank williams, sr.
Report This| Share this:"normal" depression or worse?hello, F --<br /> <br />i am so sorry that you feel as if you are getting worse instead of better. i know how discouraging that is, believe me.<br /> <br />have you told your psychologist about going downhill? she needs to know. how long have you been seeing her? i ask because if you aren't making any tangible progress toward sorting out your issues, i'm wondering if it might be time to get a fresh perspective with a different therapist or a different style of therapy.<br /> <br />i do not believe that having "a negative attitude towards everything" is <b>anyone's</b> basic personality; i think that is your depression talking. that's one of the insidious things about depression -- it sneaks in when you are not looking and then colors every part of your life, including how you think about yourself.<br /> <br />our resident expert in this community, dr. schwartz, says that there are at least 20 antidepressants out there, in several different chemical classes. more psych meds go on the market every year, and just because the cymbalta/duloxetine did not help does not mean that nothing will help. would you consider asking your psychologist to refer you to a psychiatrist to evaluate whether a course of antidepressants might be appropriate?<br /> <br />i send you caring thoughts and hope that this week will be a better one for you. please keep us posted on how you are doing.<br /> <br />-- susie margaret
feeltrappedandhopeless replied to susiemargaret's response:
Thank you for your kind words. I am actually seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow morning, recommended by my psychologist. I have only been seeing her for a couple of months. This is the 3rd psychologist I have seen; I didn't like the first two, and she seems much better. I am really resistant to meds but am realizing I probably need to be on them, at least for a little while until I can stabilize and feel "normal" again.
Again, thank you for your support.
Again, thank you for your support.
Report This| Share this:"normal" depression or worse?Thank you for your kind words. I am actually seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow morning, recommended by my psychologist. I have only been seeing her for a couple of months. This is the 3rd psychologist I have seen; I didn't like the first two, and she seems much better. I am really resistant to meds but am realizing I probably need to be on them, at least for a little while until I can stabilize and feel "normal" again.<br /><br />Again, thank you for your support.
susiemargaret replied to feeltrappedandhopeless's response:
hello, F --
please let us know how it goes with the psychiatrist.
i send you restful thoughts.
-- susie margaret
please let us know how it goes with the psychiatrist.
i send you restful thoughts.
-- susie margaret
what good is gold, or silver too, if your heart's not good and true -- hank williams, sr.
Report This| Share this:"normal" depression or worse?hello, F --<br /> <br />please let us know how it goes with the psychiatrist.<br /> <br />i send you restful thoughts.<br /> <br />-- susie margaret
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