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    Everyone says to get over it...
    An_246084 posted:
    I have always struggled with depression but an event a few years ago put me over the edge and I feel as if I will never recoup. In April of 2007, my 16 yr old son ran off with a 23 yr old woman. She was married and had 2 small baby girls. Eventually they went to live with his father who travelled a road full of drugs, alcohol, and convictions for several things.

    After a while my son and her split and she later over dosed killing herself. My son still remains with his father and we have very little contact. I told him a long time ago when I was able to contact him to at least send me a text message every once in a while letting me know he was ok. He does that and calls me maybe twice a year.

    When we do talk, he tells me so many lies about what he is doing that I never know what to believe. I know they are lies cause a few minutes later into the conversation, he tells me something complete opposite. He has told me how he has broke into homes before and I do not know if that is a lie either. I figure at least he does keep some contact and by listening, he knows I am always here if he needs me. (Although I cannot trust him in our home in fear he would steal from us or harm me physically as before he left, he started getting to the point of throwing things, calling me names, getting in my face, punching things, etc...)

    I have 2 other sons who have also started their own lives... One lives accross the country and we talk on the phone periodically, and the other lives just a few blocks away, married and has a child but they do not spend much time with us at all. We feel his wife does not like us and we just wish we knew why.

    I am not a good housekeeper, I cannot seem to hold down a job, I cry at the smallest of things, I lose my temper and patience so much faster than ever before, I feel fat and ugly, I have no sex drive, I have no true friends, and I just feel like a complete failure at life. I read articles and cannot comprehend what I read any more. I cannot remember things from day to day, and just feel stupid. I have tried message boards before and never get any response although I am not sure what it is I am looking for???

    I started seeing a therapist again and have an apoointment with a pshychiatrist next week. I have as of today started keeping a journal and hope fore some relief soon.

    Peace, Love and Hugs... And Thank You for Reading...
    Lis11 responded:
    I just wanted to say HI and that we are all here for you. This is a great group of people and its a place where you can truly be yourself.

    I am glad that you are seeing your therapists and going to see the Doc next week.

    Hope you have a good weekend and take care of yourself
    Mrs_Gantt replied to Lis11's response:
    Thank you Lis11... I hope you have a good weekend as well
    alaska_mommy responded:
    I'm sorry you're going through so many hard things right now. Even if life seems like it's going ok at the moment, the physical, mental, and emotional struggle of fighting depression just takes all our strength away.
    I'm glad you're seeing a therapist and will see a psychiatrist. I hope they can get you started down the path to wellness and that you will have some light start showing at the end of the tunnel soon.
    Hugs, and talk to us as often as you like. Vent, complain, whatever you need.
    susiemargaret responded:
    hello, A268 --

    i am so sorry that you've had such heartache in your life, but i'm glad you found us! we are all here to help each other; we all have experience with depression in one way or another, so we know what you are talking about (we "get it"); and we do not judge.

    you said that "you have tried message boards before and never get any response altho you are not sure what it is you are looking for." that's OK; we are here to listen and to give emotional support, not to tell anyone what to do. we don't expect everyone to have their life completely organized; otherwise, what would be the point of coming here?

    does it help your spirits to keep a journal? i keep one periodically, for maybe a month at a time, then quit for i-don't-know-why, then start up again later. i have to admit, i'm always taken by surprise when i find a part of one somewhere around the house and then read it.

    i send you caring thoughts and hope you will write again.

    -- susie margaret
    what good is gold, or silver too, if your heart's not good and true -- hank williams, sr.
    Mrs_Gantt replied to susiemargaret's response:
    Thank you everyone... I really do appreciate it.

    I just noticed I posted originally as anonymous... I am still trying to figure this out...
    Peace, Love,
    alaska_mommy replied to Mrs_Gantt's response:
    Hi Mrs. Gantt, did you want to post anonymous? Or with your username showing?
    Mrs_Gantt replied to alaska_mommy's response:
    I got it figured out now... Alaska_mommy... I guess at first I was thinking I should stay anonymous because of my username and because I went into detail on my situation but afterwards, I just figured it was no big deal. I also realized by reading a few posts that some people really keep in contact with encouragement, uplifting comments, and well... An actual username just seems to be the better option...
    Peace, Love,
    alaska_mommy replied to Mrs_Gantt's response:
    No worries, I did the same thing at first, after you get comfortable then you start wanting to be a part of this group in a bigger way.

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