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    jaws86 posted:
    Just wanted yall to know that I will be a full-fledged Red Cross disaster volunteer and help in blood collection (anybody want to give?) I am orienting now and maybe,just maybe come into a paid position later on HOPE!!!!!!!!! Post and tell me what you think,my wife can afford for me to do this.
    Jeune1 responded:
    I think that's great, congratulations! My first volunteer gig was walking blood donors to the juice and cookies.

    And it also a great reminder to give blood if you can.
    alaska_mommy responded:
    Jaws, how great for you! I bet you are excited about this. I hope you are, anyway! I think it's great. What did you mean about your wife can afford for you to do this? Do you mean she is glad about it?
    Hope it goes real well for you!
    Anubis66 responded:
    That is good news. I want to do some volunteer work too but I'm just not ready yet. I'm sure you'll do very well.
    jaws86 replied to alaska_mommy's response:
    My wife is a pediatrician and she controls the finances and we are at a point where I can afford to do this. She is very excited for me.
    alaska_mommy replied to jaws86's response:
    Oh cool! Well I hope this will be a great step forward for you, and springboard you to better things!
    susiemargaret responded:
    hello, jimmy --

    this is terrific news! i know you will make a great contribution and that they will be really happy to have you.

    -- susie margaret
    what good is gold, or silver too, if your heart's not good and true -- hank williams, sr.
    jaws86 replied to susiemargaret's response:
    Im very afraid that I will have a panic attack in front of people. I dont know what to do at the moment but as Ive said before it will be the last and I wont have to worry anymore.
    alaska_mommy replied to jaws86's response:
    Why have you decided that the only way to avoid more panic attacks is to take your life?
    Have you told your therapist/PCP, and most importantly, your wife this decision? I believe of all people, she deserves to know.
    Did you think about what I said, to call 911/go to the ER if you have another one? Don't you think that would be a better solution? Is there a reason you think it's not? I really want to know because I want to know what you're thinking about this. You sound pretty well decided, and that you're not going to change your mind. And yet you say it so nonchalantly, as if it's no big deal and that will just take care of it. Why does it seem as if that is your only option? Please talk to us, jaws. I don't want to one day have your posts abruptly stop and then have to wonder if you took your life.
    Do you remember the pain you went through when the person in your support group ended their life? The anguish of what their family must have gone through? Do you realize that that's exactly what you would do to your family, as well as all of us here, if you took your life? Even if you don't care about yourself at all, at least think about your family, and think about us, your friends. Even think about your support group, too, and how they would all feel to have a second person take their life in such a short time. I really hope you will think about all this jaws, and get some help with managing these panic attacks instead of suffering alone. Please talk to me, ok?
    Hugs, jaws...I hope I don't offend you, but I want you to be safe.
    jaws86 replied to alaska_mommy's response:
    If you have ever had a panic attack you will know what I mean- it is the worst terror in the world.
    alaska_mommy replied to jaws86's response:
    I don't doubt it. I believe you that it's awful, and I've heard other people talk about how bad it is. But there must be something they can do for you to help you get through it, perhaps help alleviate your symptoms somewhat or make you a little more comfortable during it?
    Is there something that's changed in your medication that would allow for these panic attacks to happen more often like this?
    Or maybe just the circumstances in your life right now? You have had a lot of stress lately.
    alaska_mommy replied to jaws86's response:
    According to WebMD, panic attacks/panic disorder (when panic attacks occur repeatedly) are treatable. Here's an excerpt from the article:
    "Luckily for sufferers of frequent panic attacks, panic disorder is a treatable condition. Psychotherapy and medications have both been used, either singly or in combination, for successful treatment of panic disorder. If medication is necessary, your doctor may prescribe antianxiety medications, antidepressants that also have antianxiety properties, or a class of heart medications known as beta-blockers to help control the episodes in panic disorder."
    Does this help at all?
    jaws86 replied to alaska_mommy's response:
    My doctor refuses to give me any antianxiety meds with my history of abuse and counseling is not helping. I see my counselor this week and my doctor next week and will tell them the same thing. If I go through another panic attack it will be my last. I have tried multiple antidepressants and nothing has worked.ECT did help for the short term.
    alaska_mommy replied to jaws86's response:
    Wow I would think your doctor might reconsider if he knew that it meant the difference between life and death for you. I think you shouldn't wait till your appointment with your counselor or doctor...what if your next panic attack is tomorrow? They need to know the circumstances so they can help you, jaws. Will you call your doctor now?
    jaws86 replied to alaska_mommy's response:
    I am on both their cancellation list and I have called every morning to see if there is any appointments. I dont know what else to do. My wife is on Klonopin and I have taken a couple tabs of her meds.. I know that she has a lot left which makes it easier to take one. I have had these panic attacks over 15 years, enough is enough!! Maybe I will finally find peace.

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