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Feeling Blue Tonight
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alaska_mommy posted:
Hey all, my turn to complain I guess?
Sometimes I let myself think about our finances too hard and then I get really down. We have a ton of debt that we can't even begin to address and our income is basically enough to live off of and no more. Can't afford to file bankruptcy, it will cost us about $1500 to do that. Um, if I had $1500 laying around I wouldn't be needing to file bankruptcy. Hah.
DH has tried ever since we got married to find a good-paying job that he likes, heck even a better paying job that he doesn't like, but he hasn't been able to find a good fit. Even with jobs he doesn't like we can't seem to get ahead. Right now he's a trucker and it's long hard hours for what seems like not enough pay to justify all the hard work.
And he hates it, but he does it because he has a family.

I'm a stay at home mom so I don't contribute, and the only thing I could do is maybe sell some arts & crafts stuff and that never makes very much money anyway. I did a little bit of knitting for profit but only made about $20 after the cost of yarn was paid. Eh...

I know economy is bad right now, and we're lucky to have enough to pay our immediate bills. Is it wrong for me to be dissatisfied with that though? I grew up somewhat poor, and now looks like that will continue on indefinitely in adulthood. Just annoying I guess...hoped it would be better but I guess some of us got it and some of us just don't. I hate doing the budget because it reminds me how much money we don't have, but then if I don't do it we're worse off so...grrr. We'd like to move back up to Alaska some day but that's not looking like it's really a possibility anytime soon. Maybe if we get some tax money back in the new year we can file bankruptcy. Not that that would have any impact on our day to day life, since we're not able to pay on those debts anyway. It would just give us peace of mind that none of our creditors tries to take us to court or something.
And then DH has to go and talk about politics in bed tonight...ugh I already feel like our personal lives are depressing enough without talking about the state of affairs in the white house. I never have liked politics anyway. I just keep my nose out of it because America is going to hell in a handbasket far as I can tell. No offense to any patriotic souls out there...just my estimation of it from what little I know. I think what it comes down to is I feel like I have no control in life, nothing I can do about the country on the big scale of things, and down on the small scale there's nothing I can do about job stuff for DH. I've tried looking for work for him and then got discouraged and gave it up after he applied to several promising jobs and never got called. I was even willing to part with him for two weeks at a time so he could go work up in Prudhoe Bay in Alaska on the oil pipeline.
Then I get to wondering whether it's our fault, the economy, or if God is punishing us for something? Or trying to get our attention or bring us to our knees so we look to Him? Or just not caring at all and letting us suffer. None of those options sound good so I think I'd rather leave God out of the picture. Hey, I tried to be a good Christian but I never got anywhere, so I figure I'm on my own now.
Sorry...long rant...just looking back on my life without seeing very much good in it. My son is wonderful, and maybe that will be all I contribute to this world, is a couple of good kids. I hope that will be enough.
Reply
 
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Demons2011 responded:
Al-Mom, I understand were you're coming from. As far as you not contributing any thing as a stay at home mom. You contribute so much and don't even know it, I can't think of a more important job than raising your children. Especially when they are young like yours.
As far as bankruptcy, not an easy choice. There are some greatly reduced legal services out there. Bankruptcy around $400. You end up doing the filings at court but they prepare the paper work.

As you can tell, I'm up early as well, not able to sleep.

Poor hubby, had to bring up politics. Go easy on him.
 
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MyRain responded:
Hey AM,
Sorry you're having a hard time of it right now. No easy answers I don't think. I second D's comments on being a stay at home mom - don't discount that please. I too am having a bit of a struggle with God as well - things like a lot of things in my life are being shaken up. Please feel free to write and share here- always happen to listen, even when I can't give wise advice. Hugs.
 
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alaska_mommy responded:
Thanks you two, not really any answers to be had, but I always appreciate the support.
D, haven't found anyplace that will do a bankruptcy for any less than about $1200, usually more than that. Have yet to find some place that would just help me with the paperwork and then I would file with the court...anywho. It's just something I need to not worry/obsess about since there's nothing I can do about it.
Aw I did go easy on hubby, I didn't say anything to him anyway, just complained to you guys. He knows I don't like it but every once in awhile he gets fired up about stuff. And sometimes it does interest me somewhat, but after awhile I just want off the roller coaster! Hah.

MyRain, I hear you about things being shaken up in life. I think my faith has been shaken to the core and I'm having to start building it from the ground up. Not real happy with the process.

At any rate, today is a new day and everything usually looks better in the morning. I guess back to ignoring my problems! I don't know if that's the best way to do it but at the moment it seems like the best option.
 
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totalyfedup replied to alaska_mommy's response:
Hi a_m, So sorry to hear about your troubles,
And being a Mom is the hardest job but the best one too.
I know having financial troubles on top of everyting else makes in seem so much worse. You will get through it, it will take time but everythign will work out.
I have been in a terrible dark place for the past 4 days, and I can't get out of it,nothing happend to me that I feel so bad. I haven't even been able to check and see how everyone is doing up til now. I had a dentist appointment yesterday and was the first time I left my apartment in 3 days, ug! I hate this!
So I hope you are doing a little better today. Let us know how you are doing, we are always here for you, just like you have been there for everyone.
take care,

hugs,

tfu
need support
 
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alaska_mommy replied to totalyfedup's response:
Hey tfu,
Thanks for the encouragement. I'm sorry you're in a bad way yourself. I'm glad at least you had a dentist appointment to get you showered and out of the house! I think if it weren't for my son I'd be planted in front of the computer every day all day. And would just shower real quick before my husband came home.

I hope you have better days ahead too! You staying in touch with your doc/psych?
 
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chez1 replied to alaska_mommy's response:
Hi Joy
Don't take this the wrong way, but it was quite nice to read your rant, not because you are having such a hard time of it financially, just to hear a bit about you and what is going on with you. I said it the other day, but will say it again, you have been so supportive here over the past couple of weeks, its nice to be able to give back to you (not that I have any answers for you)!!
Glad today is looking better but as myrain said, please feel free to vent anytime, that is why we are here.
Hugs heading your way
Chez x
People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily....... Zig Ziglar
 
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chez1 replied to totalyfedup's response:
hi tfu, so sorry you have been in such a dark place for the past few days, good to see you popping in to say hello, hope you manage more.
Its a pity it was the dentist that pulled you out of the house, sure it would have been nice if it was a social event, but well done on going.
We so get the hating it, try and find that fight in you to kick the depression out of the park (even for a little while)
hugs
Chez x
People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily....... Zig Ziglar
 
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Demons2011 replied to alaska_mommy's response:
A-Mom, try Freedom America I think. Might not be the right name. But it should be close. I'm not familiar with your area so it's hard to say. I know they have a couple of places here in NE.
 
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Lis11 responded:
Al Mommy, You can complain anytime you need to. You are always there for all of us that are complaining. I hear ya with the money situation and the stay at home mom. I am also a stay at home mom and sometimes it doesn't feel like we contribute does it? I struggle with that a lot, just the other night my 7 year old daughter yelled at me about not having any money and I don't help make the money. Really hurt my feelings but my husband really stood up for me and that made me feel better a least.
Anyway, just wanted to say that I understand where your coming from and will always be here to listen to you when you need someone.
Hugs,
Lis
 
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alaska_mommy replied to chez1's response:
Thanks Chez, I appreciate the support and I know there are no real answers here, just me being frustrated with life.

D, I googled it and closest I came up with was Freedom Debt Relief, American Debt Solutions, Freedom Lending, and Freedom American Mortgage Co. Any of those sound familiar?

Lis, thanks for understanding, I do feel like a total non-contributor sometimes. But we basically can't afford for me to work...the start-up costs would be too high. I'd need a car, work wardrobe, and the first payment to a daycare center for our son. Then, two weeks later, I'd start getting money. But in the end it's not worth it. Besides, I would probably just be working to pay the child care, and frequent eating out since I wouldn't be home to cook meals. Eh, it's a toss up.
I'm glad your hubby stood up for you, it can really hurt when someone says something that you are already afraid is true or are already feeling bad about, it sort of cements how you are already feeling.

OK one more rant...the days are DRAGGING by until I can find out for sure whether I'm pregnant or not. Around the 1st I should know one way or the other, meanwhile I still can't help but test even though it's probably too soon. I keep willing those little strips to show something but they keep coming up blank. I really should wait till at least the end of this week but I'm hopeless. LOL. Somebody just put me into a coma till next week, huh? Please?!
 
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itmatsb replied to alaska_mommy's response:
I'm so sorry to hear about your financial problems. You are not alone at all. While the rich are far richer than they have ever been in history, the middle class is fast shrinking into the poverty level. It's a very difficult life to live. But the others are right that you are contributing the most with your children. And yes, it doesn't sound like going outside the home to work is a logical step. I will send my prayers or if you don't appreciate that, I will send all positive thoughts your way.
Sara
 
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alaska_mommy replied to itmatsb's response:
Thank you Sara, I do appreciate prayers, and thanks for your understanding.


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