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Worried about my dad
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lissmeanstrouble posted:
I am worried but....
I have excellent news!
I am engaged!
My boyfriend asked me to marry him on Saturday. My dad and my fiance get along really well, and my dad told me how happy he was for me. I still live with my dad, but me and my boyfriend are in the process of finding a decent apartment that we can afford.
My boyfriend has been staying the night, and as far as I know my dad is okay with it,since were engaged, he is just not okay with him staying there for free, but I told my dad he should be having an apartment with in the next couple weeks, and I might move out soon after he finds one. (My boyfriend er I mean, finace! has room mates currently.)
My brother and his girlfriend had a baby in January, and he is not married, but they probably will be some day, I dont know for certain. He just applied for a loan to buy a house, and was only able to get the loan approved if my dad co-signed. They were planning on moving this weekend.
My mom and dad have been divorced for over 20 years now, and my dad remarried and got divorced twice since then. My dad has been single now for over 5 years, and says he is done with women. My mom has never dated anyone and she is basically a shut in, that works graves at the IRS. Thats all she does is work and sleep.
Her car just broke down, and my mom doesnt have any savings, or anyone else in the world to ask for help except for my dad, so she asked my dad to help her buy a car. So- my dad went and bought her a brand new car to quickly get it over with.

My dads been really mean the past few months, having angry outbursts at family members, and says hes gotten into "telling everyone off."
He retired in March and has been spending most of his free-time fixing his kitchen ( hes done ALOT of remodeling! hard worker!)

He yelled at me while I was trying to help him connect his new comcast internet, all I did was hush him cause I could not hear the indian on the phone, he literally made a growling noise and flipped me off, that is really childish behavior for a 60 year old man, who doesnt normally act that way. Then he told me if I have attitude with him again hed slap me. talk about an over reaction over the "sh" sound.
Then again while boating, he over reacted over something I did while trying to pull the boat into the boat trailer. I had literally done nothing wrong and again he threatened to slap me for having attitude.
I am 24 years old. I am an adult, and expect him to treat me like one, I wasnt having attitude.
My brother called me, and he was really upset, my dad had called Sunday and yelled at him, and said he wanted out of the house loan. My dad told my brother that he wanted to beat up a friend of his (which is absurd) and that he is mad my brother didnt bring back his rifle (my dad has said "oh just keep it" millions of times) and he insisted my brother is going to screw him over, and that my brother must not care about anything but himself, and just alot of accusations.
My brother called me yesterday cause his dog fell and broke her leg, and my brother was just bummered out, wanted to let us know what happened, not ask for money, and my dad was ingoring his phone calls! So I went upstairs, told my dad to call him, and he said "oh god, I may as well jump out of the window" and just over reacted yet again, I said "He doesnt want any money dad, just some one to vent to, Im sure it would make him feel better if you called."

Now I am afraid to talk to my dad cause everytime I do, I have "attitude" and my brother is too, cause "all he wants is money" and I am really concerned cause people just dont go around saying" I should jump out the window"
Im thinking he feels too much stress for an old guy, but he needs to try to be nicer, and handle things better.
Advice please?!
Reply
 
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chez1 responded:
hi lmt, congratulations on your engagement, I am delighted that you your relationship is working out so well for you and heading in such a great direction.
I am sorry to hear about your dad and more so how his behaviour is affecting you and your brother, however I am not sure it sounds like it is something that he has control over. Has he been to see a dr? do you think there is any chance that you can get him to go to the dr. Is your dad aware of what he is doing/saying? Behaviour change as dramatic as this can have many causes which may need investigation.
I wish you luck in your engagement and best wished in getting to the route cause of your dads character change
People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily....... Zig Ziglar
 
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lissmeanstrouble replied to chez1's response:
Thanks Chez! I think it would be a good idea for my dad to talk with his doctor, he has been in a generally good mood lately, and I am hoping he may get feeling better on his own, but if not I may suggest him to see his doctor!
 
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djmixer replied to lissmeanstrouble's response:
Hi congrats to you and your fiance' My father is showing the same symptoms I would like to know what was a result of you taking your father to the dr.
 
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lissmeanstrouble replied to djmixer's response:
I actually have not gone with my dad to his doctor cause he will not agree to it.
 
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lissmeanstrouble replied to lissmeanstrouble's response:
Thank you though for the congratulations!
 
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itmatsb responded:
I am really afraid for both you and your brother as well as anyone else who comes across your father's path since he is even talking about beating up a friend of his. Make sure that your brother does not give him a gun, but your father could buy one.

Since his behavior is different from his usual, one would wonder if he may have a brain tumor or some chemical change.

I would move out as soon as possible, then try to suggest to your father that he see a doctor. I would start by not suggesting that it is because of his behavior. If you can't get to go, then tell him the reason. Then if he agrees, call the doctor and let them know of your concerns. I think that you are minimizing his behavior out of denial. Please, be very careful with your father. Good luck and congrats.
 
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lissmeanstrouble replied to itmatsb's response:
I appreciate your comments, I posted this one about 4 months ago, and my dad is actually being really nice lately.
He wants to pay for my wedding etc, etc... he just has a short fuse, hes hard to deal with when he gets stressed out, but he is doing ok now.
 
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itmatsb replied to lissmeanstrouble's response:
Good to hear about your Dad getting better.


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