Good Afternoon
Thanks to all of you on this depression community who have been so concerned, caring and supportive of me during my many crisis.
I am feeling better but for some reason I am down today and I dont know why
I am taking my Ativan and Prozac and they are definitely helping me but I just want to cry today and dont know why.
I guess that even though I am up and moving around and have more motivation and am eating better I still tend to dwell on the past though not as much and the bad job decision every once in a while and that is what is making me blue. As everyday I regret turning that job down to take the other even though I know that i am never going to get it back, I just gave up too much security, stability, paycheck benefits and this still does bother me greatly. if only I could go back in time and do it all over again , how different it would be
On the other hand I found a temporary job thru an agency at a hospital close to home
will be starting either next Thursday or the following Monday. Its only a temp job for 6 mths and the pay isnt too bad it is in Medical Records which for me is sort of boring but I really need to get out and work and bring in some extra money as it will be more than my unemployment, as my unemployment will go on hold and when this assignment is done I can start collecting it once again, I justwish that this would become a permanent position and not just be a temp assignment because I wont have any benefits .
Then when the assignment is done I will once again not have a job and will have to start all over again and dont know if I can face being home without a job.
I am however while working on this temporary assignment still continue to look for a permamanet job and see if there is any way I can interview for permanent positions maybe I can take some time off work to interview since I only get paid for the time that I do work.
My husband has to work tomorrow so I will be home alone but with the meds at least I wont be on the couch and will be able to function and do some work around the house.
I am going to see the psych on Monday again so she can see how i am doing, I really wish that I could keep her for my doctor but cant since she works for the county and not in private practice.
I have worked as a temp before but this is so difficult for me to do once again especially knowing that I gave up a permanent job.
I just hope that I am doing the right thing by taking the temp job as I feel that I should keep looking for a perm job and not work but I dont get many calls for interviews anyway and the other two jobs that I inquired about were both temp jobs as well
Maybe I will start to feel better about myself and forget the past once I start back to work, although having been out of work for several months its going to be hard to get back into the routine once again.
Sue