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Having a hard day so far.
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alaska_mommy posted:
I feel like I have no energy today! I'm wondering if my SVT's are acting up (heart arrhythmia...for me means fast heartbeat and feeling wiped out or short of breath). I had them while I was pregnant with my son and off and on since then. I did feel like my heart was racing with any exertion and just feeling drained. I'm thinking about making a doctor appointment, but at the same time, since I've already been diagnosed with them I know that all it does is make me feel uncomfortable...they're not dangerous in any way. Well I guess unless it goes super high or something. I'm sure I'd know if that was the case. Seems like getting overheated and being tired can contribute to bringing them on. Plus hormones as well...that's why I got them in the first place while pregnant. Grrr...
Anyway had to take my little guy in for a doctor appointment today, and just doing that and getting his medication filled at the pharmacy has stressed me out real bad. I was real short with him and made him cry this morning by being frustrated with all his pestering questions and talking and being kind of whiny (since he's sick). I felt really bad and comforted him and apologized for getting mad, but I just feel like a bad mom sometimes. It's not his fault he doesn't feel well. Ugh just wish I had more reserves emotionally/mentally. Plus I should be starting to do some deep cleaning in here because my sister in law will be coming for a visit and staying the night in about 10 days...but been too tired to do anything. And then with the heart stuff acting up I don't have any energy. Double GRR!
OK, done venting...sorry guys. I think I need a nap today but I don't want to have to take one!
Reply
 
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chez1 responded:
Hey Joy, I am sorry you are having such a bad day, I hope you manage a nap and feel better afterwards.
You know it is ok to get frustrated with the little guy, they are hard work and if you are not feeling too hot then it makes it doubly hard, also they are more intuitive than we give them credit for, they are so resilient, more to the point I bet he is more resilient because you love him so much and recognise when you are not on top form, just keep on with the hugs, he will bounce back with you.
As for you being unwell, I think you should go to the dr, sometimes it is just good to get some reassurance, I know with my clients, I tell them all the time that the fast majority of my role is to reassure and I tell them to call the dr for the same thing, so if you feel up to it, see if you can get an appt.
Cleaning - it can wait, if you dont get round to it before your sister comes to visit, show her where the clothes, duster, hoover, washing machine and kettle is and tell her to make herself at home!!
Take care of you and the little guy, hope you both feel much better soon
x
People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily....... Zig Ziglar
 
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alaska_mommy replied to chez1's response:
Chez,
Thanks as always for your encouragement. Yeah I feel like with medical stuff since the miscarriage I have needed a lot of reassurance. I've gotten to where I worry about stuff a lot more than I used to. So it helps to have the doc say, You'll be just fine. I just need to wait till payday to make an appointment because even though the copay is only $30 I don't feel comfortable spending that right now. It's only a few more days till payday anyway. Then I'll call and make an appointment.

And with my sister in law...I know I am just stressing, like I always do when I have company over, especially to stay the night. Then it's, I've got to scrub the bathtub, clean all those nasty spots out of the carpet, try to get the seat of our dining room chair clean that the little guy sits on (fabric stains), vacuum, sweep, mop, clean out the refrigerator, the countertops, etc. because I don't want to wonder if she's thinking, "Wow, what does she do all day?" or maybe she's a neat freak (I don't really know) and she would be disgusted by our place. I know I'm not the neatest person. I usually just do the minimum I have to to get by. Ah well, I need to not worry about stuff so much.
 
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MyRain responded:
My goodness. What a day. Don't beat yourself up over it, just let it go and see what tomorrow brings. Hugs to you.
 
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BeHapppy118 responded:
Hello Alaska Mommy, So sorry to hear you have no energy today. I think we all know how that can be, (ughh...) especially when you have things you need to do and stuff on your mind. I agree with Chez, you need to take care of yourself and your little one especially that you both aren't feeling well and hopefully everything else will fall into place. I also think it's good to make a doctors appointment, (as soon as you can) No need to rush unless you start to feel worse since you already know what you have. Your little guy will get over it, don't call yourself a bad Mom, you sound like you are doing the best you can! I hope you both feel better soon. Sending hugs and a bit of energy to make it through another day. I hope tommorow is easier for you.
So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.
- Stephen Chbosky
 
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alaska_mommy replied to BeHapppy118's response:
Thanks MyRain and BeHappy. I think the reason I feel bad about the housework especially is that I know I need to do it and I have yet to feel motivated to do it and I'm afraid I won't get the motivation before she gets here, and I don't want to be a stressed out freak when she's here (like I usually do with company). Sigh...oh to be a carefree type-A person!! Hah.
 
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Jeune1 replied to alaska_mommy's response:
Hope you're doing OK. I don't have children but it seems a hallmark of an excellent parent is a concern that they aren't a good parent. Everyone has off days and I bet he'll remember the apology and that it is OK and appropriate to apologize long after he's forgotten you were angry and he was upset.

Carefree Type A. Hee hee.

But does anyone ever feel motivated to do housework? Unless "If I have to look at this mess one more second I'm going to scream!" counts as motivation, I've never experienced such feelings.

What about a fear of something moldy hopping of the fridge at me?
 
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alaska_mommy replied to Jeune1's response:
Haha! I guess I have had times where I felt motivated to do housework, but they are few and far between. Usually my motivation consists of what you said "If I have to look at this mess one more second I'm going to scream!" Anger can be a very useful cleaning tool. Hah. Either that or sheer terror at the thought of someone seeing my house the way it normally is during the week (i.e, company coming).
And hey, fear of moldly fridge-monsters can be a good motivator too!
 
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Jeune1 replied to alaska_mommy's response:
Now if only there was a way to harness that anger and GLARE the mess away. I could blast the crud out of a frying pan at 50 paces.

I don't know. If she's coming in eight/nine days would you even want to start cleaning now? Things will just get messed up again. Or they would in my house. My husband and I have developed a schedule for pre-guest cleaning. We learned really quickly that cleaning too far in advance meant we got into an argument as things got messed up (often courtesy of the cats) after being cleaned.
 
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alaska_mommy replied to Jeune1's response:
Oh man I got a good chuckle at blasting the crud out of a frying pan. Oh, for it to be that easy! Maybe we need to see if that X-Men guy with the laser beam eyes will rent himself out for dish duty!
Yeah, there's not a whole lot I can pre-clean right now, except the spots in the carpet, and maybe trying to deep clean the kitchen or something. But I still feel like a lazy bum for not wanting to do any of it. Heh.


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