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    Not Doing So Well
    behapppy118 posted:
    Hello everyone,

    I haven't been doing so well. I have been feeling sad, crying, and I feel like there is a weight attached to me bringing me down so I haven't been doing much. Also haven't been feeling good physically. I know what's bothering me but I just feel today that this problem isn't going to get any better and that I don't know how to make myself feel better about this problem. (Which I'm not comfortable sharing, sorry) I feel like I'm losing hope. I just don't know how to get through. I just want to wish it away!
    So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.
    - Stephen Chbosky
    chez1 responded:
    hi behappy
    sorry you are feeling so sad and that the weight of the world is on your shoulders (my words).
    Please don't loose hope, obviously I don't know what is happening for you, but there is always an alternative so whatever the problem it should get better, actually maybe not better but a different perspective may present itself.
    Your inner strength will get you through this, no matter what the problem is, I know it is difficult and believe it or not I know that you are thinking it is easier to avoid, walk away, disappear, but that is not the answer, at some point you will have the strength to face the problem, meantime you just have to keep yourself safe.
    I am sorry if this comes across as a rant, it is not my intention, I just want to share with you that you have strength and in that strength there is hope and progress and you will get there
    People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily....... Zig Ziglar
    behapppy118 replied to chez1's response:
    Hello Chez,

    Yes, you are right about there always being an alternative, and everything else you have mentioned. Don't be sorry, thank you so much for your kind words, what you said means a lot to me and was encouraging.

    I hope that you are doing well. Hugs to you.
    So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.
    - Stephen Chbosky
    Demons2011 replied to behapppy118's response:
    BeHappy18, Sorry you're feeling like you do today. I not feeling much better today, but I want to try to offer you some encouragement. Day to day our specific situations change, some times positive and some times negative. When the burden feels heavier than normal, I try to find anything I am actually doing and make it positive. I don't care if it's just taking a shower, shave and other morning rituals. Each of those things become a minor victory for me. Hopefully I'll get enough of the minors to make it into a better day. I try to celebrate each one. Nothing special, just the recognition that I accomplished some thing I didn't feel like doing. Right now I would prefer not to be on line and I am forcing myself to be here. I would prefer to be in my private meadow, not thinking about a darn think, just listening to the breeze blowing in the Aspens and the babble of the nearby creek. You are not alone. Sending positive thoughts your way.
    totalyfedup responded:
    Hi BeHappy, Sorry you are not doing so good. I wish that there was something I could say to make you feel better. And as for the physical part it hope it is something that will get better, I understand that you don't want to share, I am sure we all have something that we don't want to share. Do you have someone that you can talk to about it?
    Hope you are feeling a little better.

    need support
    behapppy118 replied to Demons2011's response:
    Hello Demons,

    Thank you for replying even though you didn't feel like being online. Sorry to hear you are not doing so well. I hope that it gets better for you and that you feel better. I agree with you on the minor victories, even if it's just something little that you don't feel like doing, if you end up doing it anyway that's good! Even if that's the only thing you can get done, it's something.

    Sending hugs and little victories your way.
    So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.
    - Stephen Chbosky
    Anubis66 responded:
    BeHappy I feel your pain. You are not alone. For me four medications and therapy once a week and I still feel like I have a dark cloud enveloping me. Demons I'm having some of the same issues you are. Little everyday things are a huge challenge for me and it's difficult for me to recognize anything I do as an accomplishment. Hope you both find some joy soon.

    Demons2011 replied to Anubis66's response:
    Jeff, how long have you been on the four meds? Sure hope the therapy and meds kick in for you soon.
    alaska_mommy replied to Anubis66's response:
    Hi Jeff, mind if I ask what medications you're on? I'm always curious about those sort of things. Hope you don't mind me being nosey.
    Anubis66 replied to alaska_mommy's response:
    I don't mind at all. I'm taking the generic form of paxil, seroquel, klonopin, and wellbutrin. The wellbutrin I've been on for about two weeks. The seroquel and klonopin two months, and the paxil about a month and a half. I am seeing a physicians assistant that works under a psychiatrist at a well respected clinic. I don't ask her to change my medication, I just go in and report how I feel and she adjusts the medication. I have to trust that she knows what she's doing.
    alaska_mommy replied to Anubis66's response:
    I'm sure she does know what she's doing, although with antidepressants a lot of times it's just trial and error. But I hope the wellbutrin works for you, it ended up being the right one for me. I was previously on 75 mg 2-3x a day, along with Prozac, which was some good, but still not great. Then we dropped the Prozac and upped the Wellbutrin to 150 mg 2-3x a day and that has done the trick for me. I feel better, much better than I have the last 6 months. It's been good. I hope it works out the same for you. Don't give up!
    behapppy118 replied to totalyfedup's response:
    Thank you for replying. I do have people I can talk to about it so that's good.
    So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.
    - Stephen Chbosky
    behapppy118 replied to Anubis66's response:
    Thank you Anubis for replying. It was a good reminder knowing that I'm not alone. Sometimes I think that I'm alone. I think everyone needs to hear that reminder now and again. Sorry to hear after all you do, you still have that dark cloud over you.. I hope it gets better for you and that dark cloud moves away. I know what you mean, everyday things gets to me too sometimes, everything feels like a challenge. Just do what you can, and don't be so hard on yourself if you don't get everything done. Just try again tommorow, start over again after you get some rest.

    I hope you find some joy soon too for yourself.
    So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.
    - Stephen Chbosky
    behapppy118 replied to alaska_mommy's response:
    Alaska Mommy,

    Glad to see you here! Hope that you are doing ok.
    So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.
    - Stephen Chbosky
    alaska_mommy replied to behapppy118's response:
    Hi BH, thanks yes I'm doing alright. Just really tired this morning. Seems I just can't get to bed early even when I try, and then when I do, my son wakes up early or in the middle of the night a bunch or something. I give up!

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