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    Chez1
    avatar
    Demons2011 posted:
    Seen you have been your usual helpful, caring self. But, how are you? Doing OK? I know you have put a lot of effort, time and changes in place over the last couple of months. Just want to make sure you are OK!
    Reply
     
    avatar
    niteflier responded:
    I agree D, as always she has been helpful, caring and I would like to know as well - how you are doing Chez1 .

    (((((snoopy dance)))))
    Niteflier

    Perhaps the Animal Spirit is so great that one day it may inspire compassion in the human heart. Nan Sea Love

     
    avatar
    niteflier replied to chez1's response:
    Trigger.....................................................................................................................\
    Thank you for checking in Chez and wish you had more highs than lows. i am happy that you are staying on top of it and your still here.
    I had a conversation with someone I know about medication. after our conversation i gave their point of view some thought and realize i did not do what my father would have wanted - i think he would have rather felt the pain to know he was alive. he was a marine after all. i gave him the pain medication which terminated his life earlier than the cancer would have - and after our conversation i also realized i did it so i would not have to watch him suffer. I made a huge error in judgement and will have to live with it and take it as one of life's cruel lessons. I have text and apologized to his wife, but have not spoke to her yet. I believe knowing this is better in that i am not constantly second guessing what i did. i know what i did was not the right thing, but i am ok with that. not great, but ok. mistakes in life are made and the best thing is to learn from them and make every attempt to move forward, not to make the same mistake twice....its all we have.
    strange how a conversation can put things into perspective (even if the outcome is not what you were searching for).

    You all are great and want to say thank you again
    Take care, hang in there and sending lots of love and hugs to you all.
    Niteflier

    Perhaps the Animal Spirit is so great that one day it may inspire compassion in the human heart. Nan Sea Love

     
    avatar
    niteflier replied to chez1's response:
    Hey Chez, don't mean to worry you, really I am ok - as warped as it may sound......i don't really understand it - just know I am ok with it. I do understand what you are saying and thank you for all the love, care, hugs and the numerous times you have given me your hand. You have not misinterpreted anything, it is warped i know, but for now i seem to be ok with it.

    (((((hugs))))) right back at cha
    Niteflier

    Perhaps the Animal Spirit is so great that one day it may inspire compassion in the human heart. Nan Sea Love

     
    avatar
    niteflier replied to chez1's response:
    Thank you Chez, I will let you know. right now it seems everything is calm....a strange calm i have not had in a long time. I agree warped thinking is what we do - i mean that in the best way. I hate you cant sleep. could you have sleep apnea? I use to have that problem..... i can sleep for HOURS on the seroquel.....unfortunately it is hard to wake up -- i don't take it all the time.
    I wish there were something I could do for you, help you. The calmness i have is really wierd, but welcomed.......
    I hope you take care and have a good day today (i see it is about 4am your time). Sending lots of love, hugs, and i've been kind of selfish and have not yet let go of your hand. Thank you again.
    Talk to you tomorrow/today......time change is so confusing
    Remember this? Snoopy Dance
    Niteflier

    Perhaps the Animal Spirit is so great that one day it may inspire compassion in the human heart. Nan Sea Love



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