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    depresion
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    2victor posted:
    I AM 51 I HAVE LIVED MY HOLE LIFE WITH THE FEELING OF LOOKING AT THE WORLD THRU A SHEAT OF GLASS THAT I DONT QUITE BELONG.
    ON PAPER I SHOULD HAVE THE HAPPIEST LIFE .DO THE WRITE THINGS.GAVE UP DRIKING SMOKING DRUGS 20 YEARS AGO. HAVE EVERY THING A MAN COULD WANT! YET I STILL FEEL EMPTY .
    I AM TIERD!
    TRYED ANTYDEPRESENTS ,I CONPLEATLY UNDERSTAND MY CHILDHOOD,ABUSE,........I UNDERSTAND DRINKING&DRUGS(DID THAT TO COVER HOW I FELT) STILL FEEL THE SAME.WTF
    HAS ANYONE EVER HERD OF A LIFE TIME OF FEELING THIS WAY?
    Reply
     
    avatar
    chez1 responded:
    hi 2victor,
    I am so sorry you are feeling so bad, I haven't had a lifetime of feeling bad but I am beginning to realise I have many years of being unsure of why I feel so bad about myself (sure I still don't know the answer to that).
    I absolutely hear you about on paper life should be...... but I think sadly that is the reality of depression. It isn't always about where we are now but what has gone on in the past. My therapist is an absolute believer in there has to be a trigger - I have to say I would protest that I have any triggers and then I look back at some of my posts and there they are screaming out at me, you mention a couple, childhood abuse, drinking and drugs - it is possible that there has been something happened which has "awakened memories/feelings" associated with that time, then again it may have nothing to do with it!!
    I am rambling tonight, sorry for that. I really just want to say welcome to the forum, hope you find it supportive. Also I want to advice you to go to your dr and discuss these feelings, be reassured that there are many people out there that are depressed and dr's are becoming more sensitive to individuals, I would hope you find support in him/her.
    Take care and keep posting to let us know how you are doing
    People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily....... Zig Ziglar
     
    avatar
    wannatalk65 replied to chez1's response:
    Triggers are definitely out there. In me it's the little things I have dealt with in life. I did all the house work, (my ex set on the couch) My daughter still today is 20 and doesn't help, another 23 and the same. It is all left up to us to do their work. So upsetting. Attitudes are the utmost cause, seeing them, hearing them, it kills me. I find to relax more when I drink and that is not the answer. Since I am a reformed alcoholic. Always be honest with your doctor. Hide nothing. Welcome to the site. You are not alone.


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