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    niteflier posted:
    hate i have not been very helpful lately - can not find the words to help others - i fear they would only hurt them.

    does anyone know how i can prevent my bh from a slow death due to depression (over medicating, not eating, drinking.....etc) i cant even get them to their dr. appointment. i know there is not an answer - i just needed to put it in writing - i cannot put all my thoughts in writing - the question i want to ask them - if that is what they wanted, i would accompany them, but i know the best thing would be to commit myself inpatient to prevent me from making the same mistake twice - commiting myself i know would be the cowards way out. so i stay and enable their behavior - which is worse I am not sure.

    i'm tired. hopefully i will be more upbeat next post.

    thanks to all here who have helped me and continue to help me when my mind gets a little clouded. I am ok, i am just looking for an answer that is not there.

    Perhaps the Animal Spirit is so great that one day it may inspire compassion in the human heart. Nan Sea Love

    chez1 responded:
    Hi NF,
    I am sorry that you are having to fight your own Demons and support your bh, that has to take a lot out of you.
    You do know there is nothing that you can do to make you bh go to the dr, you can help with some of the other stuff, have you offered to hold their medication for them (I know that helped me for a short time) and you could offer snacks at regular intervals, you can't make them take it but you can offer.
    Now, I am sorry, I am confused by the second part of your post, do you think you or your bh should be hospitalised? and you know you don't have to share, but make the same mistake twice? are you sure going into hospital is the cowards way or could it be the braver way?
    Just one quick thing to finish with, you write about enabling their behaviour, you cannot take responsibility of their behaviour, you can offer advice, support, love and care but we as individuals all have to take responsibility for our own actions.
    Sorry if that sounds harsh, hope you feel better when you rise today, let us know how you are doing
    more hugs
    Chez x
    People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily....... Zig Ziglar
    totalyfedup responded:
    Hi nf, Sorry you are not doing so well, but I am a little confused, is your bh going through a depression too? I don't think that commiting yourself is the cowards way out, I think it is a very brave thing to do because you are doing something that will probably be good for you. I don't understand the enable thing either.
    I am sorry I couldn't be more help than this,
    Hope you feel a little better.

    need support
    niteflier replied to totalyfedup's response:
    Hey Totalyfedup, i was not as clear as i should have been. may have been misleading - afraid to face the truth. they do not go out of the house at all for approx 2 years, i do all the shopping.....i.e. i buy them alcohol - i should say no, but i am weak when it comes to them. they are my life - yet i am the one killing (enabling) them. You were very helpful in your response, thank you so much.
    How are you doing? I have been out of touch for a while and i do apologize for that.

    Perhaps the Animal Spirit is so great that one day it may inspire compassion in the human heart. Nan Sea Love

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