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Great Read..."Healing the Shame that Binds You"
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1nt3rnalc0mbu5t1on posted:
I picked this book up a few months ago for a trip i was taking and on vacation this past week i got to really knock out a good chunk of the book, i still have a few more sections to finish. But out of all the self help books i have read on depression, this one hit home the hardest and most sincere. Im not saying it is for everyone, but if you believe that the root of your depression started in your youth/childhood, id suggest giving this book a chance. It related to me so well that i had to really struggle to fight back tears at the airport...THE AIRPORT. It offers alot of potential solutions and ways to release your inner neglected child, that so many of us have buried deep in our memories. My childhood looking back a few weeks ago i would have said was rather normal, but after reading many of the theories i began to reflect and analyze my up bringing. I uncovered a lot of issues that i other wise would have thought to be non-issues. It explains very well about how depression can be projected from a depressed parent onto the child with out them even realizing they are effecting you. Among many other topics...If you have ever heard the term "Fantasy Bond" from a therapist or in general, i highly suggest reading this book. The fantasy bond is at the core of why this book was written.
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chez1 responded:
Hi
Thanks for sharing, I am going to have a look for this book for 2 reasons, firstly because I cant get to the root cause of my depression (if indeed there is one) but my therapist thinks it may stem from something that I think is normal. Secondly, I think it will be good to look for triggers that I put onto my kids, I want to avoid that at all costs - I would never forgive myself for putting any of my negativities onto my kids.
Glad you have found it beneficial and good luck with the rest of it
People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily....... Zig Ziglar
 
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1nt3rnalc0mbu5t1on replied to chez1's response:
Your very welcome. As far as putting things on your children, my parents where amazing people, who love me and my brother with all their hearts. And for years I would try to tell myself that it was all my fault. I sought out a therapist and we started to do some work and she mentioned something called the fantasy bond, this book was the first time since then that i heard the term again. My mother was depressed and i believe she still is to this day, she grew up in a steel town with her father working in the mills and he was an alcoholic and from what i heard he could get agressive at times. Sober he was a great man, so i have been told, he passed shortly after i was born. Growing up we had a wonderful relationship, my mom and i. I was her little helper...little did i know that during those times she would vent to me about life and i sort of became her therapist. tough thing for a adolescent. And even still to this day, when i visit, i live 3000 miles away...she will save things for me to do or if she needs to reach something she asks me. Now my father and brother are still there, but she asks me. I dont mind helping out, but she created this bond between her and I, where in her mind i was her spouse. She depended on me and not on my father. The effects have been unreal. So love your children, just make sure you keep in mind that they are just kids. Not your therapist, spouse, mother or father and you will do just fine I hope the book helps you as much as it has started to help me


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