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    ECT failed, Now what? Except suicide
    An_247303 posted:
    [TRIGGER] I am knew to this forum, so pardon me if I'm not doing this correctly. After 30 years of "chat" therapy and maybe 80-100 medications-none of which worked, I took the plunge and got ECT. Done by a very competant Doctor, it did not work, even a little!! I am in a blood curdling rage!!! Oh, the ECT blew out a lot of memory though!! Any ideas on where I go from here?? I can't, no won't live like this much longer. I'm giving myself til around January, than satisfied that I have "left no stone unturned," it's a couple hundred 2mg. xanax for me, washed down with some alcohol. I believe that will do the trick. I only pray that no one finds me and I am left in a vegetative state. If anyone has any thoughts, info, experimental treatments etc., I'd be very grateful. I firmly believe that I've "gutted it out" long enough. They can put on my headstone "Fought Like a Bastard." This disease has stolen my life and deprived me of simple joys, like having a child, making a living etc. I say "Enough, Already" I'm no martyr. Don't believe in hell so, why continue like this? Thank you for taking the time to read this.
    chez1 responded:
    Oh me, some powerful words, emotions and fight in your post.
    I don't know of any new & fantastic fixes for depression and I am sorry you have been treatment resistant to date.
    You ask "why continue like this?" - I don't know the answer but reading your post you have fought this disease for a long time, I have to ask "why give up now"?, we don't know what is round the corner or if the right treatment is out there for you.
    I am sorry if I sound condescending, I don't mean to be, I just feel the passion that you have within you and it is sad to read that you are thinking of giving up. I am thankful that you have no immediate plan.
    Please keep posting here, others will be able to share experiences with you and may have new ideas for you
    Take Care
    Chez x
    People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily....... Zig Ziglar
    Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff responded:
    [TRIGGER] Dear Anon -

    I am so sorry you have been struggling with this for so long and glad you found us and put your thoughts out there for others to provide support.

    Chez made some good points, we may not have all the answers but others may have more experience in treatment resistant depression.

    Please keep yourself safe, call a crisis line . Keep fighting for your life and keep posting to let us know how you are doing.

    Take care of yourself,
    deasertrose responded:
    [TRIGGER] Dear Anon
    I,m sorry ECT didn't work for you. It worked for me in 2004 for about 6 years but I back to ground zero. They want me to do ECT again but I'm scared because of all the memory loss and not enjoying anything any more. At Emory University there is a study for DBS ( deed brain stimulation). I didn't get excepted because I didn't meet there critearer (spelling). but maybe you will. It's in Atlanta GA. You can see if you can find a study in a major hospital in you area that will do testing and give you a second opinion and work with your pdoc to help you.
    I hope you hang on and take care of yourselve and keep posting so we can all try and help you. (I should listen to my own words.
    GroovyMonday responded:
    [TRIGGER] I'm surprised the ECT did not work. Was it "bilateral" type? There's also a less invasive procedure known as Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation, which I think is FDA approved (in the U.S.). Also there is Vagus Nerve Stimulation, or VNS. And someone posted about DBS, an experimental treatment. I too have treatment resistant depression. If I had the means (money), I'd look into these.
    susiemargaret responded:
    hello, A270 --

    i am so sorry you have had to suffer such heartache.

    in terms of seeing what clinical trials or research studies might be in progress and/or recruiting, you might want to check out the following websites (the results on some of these might overlap each other) --

    -- ,

    -- ,

    -- ,

    -- ,

    -- ,

    -- , and

    -- .

    there are also several websites where you can sign yourself up to be notified if someone begins a new trial or study that might be relevant for you --

    -- ,

    -- ,

    -- , and

    -- .

    i hope that one of these avenues will provide some alternatives for you that you haven't already completely explored. please keep us posted on how you're doing.

    -- susie margaret
    what good is gold, or silver too, if your heart's not good and true -- hank williams, sr.

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