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Is this legal, and have I been abused by the system and my mother?
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Radu2002 posted:
[TRIGGER] So to start, I was purchased as a baby from a different country by a woman who could not have her own kids in Canada. At about 2 the man she married left her and I've seen him once a year for 19 years, I'm 21 now. When I was younger I was locked in my room from the outside, verbally abused and at times physically. I was the kind of kid that understood it was not just, so I would try to make things more "fair". I didn't have it too bad before 12, I was typical but after that I was tricked into being locked up for a week to be released without a diagnosis and to be medicated as if I were tranqualized. I had trouble expressing myself as a kid and with all of this going on I was a child without a voice really. I would be threatened to be kicked out into a group home daily, or to be medicated more. I was force fed medications for many years and within the past year I met the love of my life and she got me off of any medication. I have to this day NO diagnosis and NO real reasoning to be medicated except that my adoptive mother feels I should be.

Here's the problem with this picture, the woman showers once a month and hasn't said I love you for over 10 years. I don't remember the last time she came to hug me or wanted to go and spend time with me. I currently am working in the field of mental health as a professional worker with children and I must admit I'm very good at my job and I've got job offers lined up already for when I finish school based on my placement experience at reputable treatment centres and schools.

This woman goes around telling people I can afford to support myself and buy myself things because I've been a drug dealer for many years. She also goes around saying I can snap at any moment because I'm BiPolar. (I haven't raised my voice in 5 years, or hit anyone or anything since grade 9) so this obviously is not true.

Anyways, to continue she keeps threatening me and telling me she will medicate me but I'm an adult with no diagnosis so I refuse to be medicated as there is no reason to, I function normally. I have a perfect relationship with a girl at one of the best schools in the world, she's beautiful, smart and ideal. My mother on the other hand is single, doesn't keep herself well, is an alcaholic by her words and smokes. She is not exactly in the right state of mind to be offering advice to medicate any child, nevermind that she has lied to doctors about me to get the medications.

I have been driven to the hospital 3 or 4 times in my life randomly when she says we are going to have a "mother/son day" and they talk to me for 20 minutes and say there is nothing wrong with me and send me home.

I'm in a situation where as I learn more in the field I'm questioning how I've been raised. I was purchased for 10,000 dollars, drugged for many years against my will and with no probable cause and mentally abused for my whole life. My question to the doctors here is how was it possible that I was prescribed medication without a diagnosis since I was 12?

What grounds do they have to medicate me? ( I was put on Schizophrenia medications at 12, which is illigal in Canada) and there was no proof of a diagnosis in my lifetime.

Why are parents allowed to by their word, medicate a child or is this as a whole illigal activity?

What do I do about this as I currently live in her home and pretty much am nice, but I ask for nothing, expect nothing and say Hi, How are you kind of thing daily.

For my future in the field I'd love to have these questions resolved so that I at least have answers to why I was so screwed over as a child and not listened to or heard. I'd love to know these things just so it eases my thoughts and takes away the questions I have regarding my past.

Thanks a lot for any replies.
Reply
 
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Radu2002 responded:
Also, the list of the medications since I was 12 is important to mention for you, so these are them. Sorry for spelling.

Seroquel,Buspar and more at 12, also things that go under your tounge (which they would sit on me and force it into my mouth) and it pretty much made me sleep or not function at all. ( I don't know the name of it).

As I got older it led to several others but between 16 and 19 I refused to go on medication and I didn't. At 19-20 I was put on Abilify which stopped my brain and I was not able to even speak a full sentence or have a complete thought. (If I had an issue, it would have done the opposite).

Thanks again for any replies.
 
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alaska_mommy responded:
Wow I would say yes you were definitely screwed over. That's crazy that you were medicated for so long. I'm glad you are off your meds. My suggestion: move out!!! This woman just wants to control your life, is a toxic person and is trying to ruin you, and you also have a woman in your life now. You definitely need to be out of the house and into your own place.
I don't think anyone can explain why you were medicated like this or why your mom did these things, other that she's obviously not fit to be a parent whatsoever and possibly is mentally disturbed. Some people find a twisted pleasure in controlling others and making them feel as miserable as they do. I'm sorry you have such an awful childhood, but congrats to you on having a great job and a great girl in your life! Keep up the good work, and put as much distance between yourself and your mother as you can. Get a restraining order, if you need to. Put yourself first, as well as the woman you love, and make a new life for yourself.
 
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alaska_mommy replied to alaska_mommy's response:
Oh and I would highly recommend some therapy for you, to talk out what has happened and make some sense of it. A good therapist can help you get through the crazy emotions you must be feeling (I can only imagine) and help you walk through this part of your life.
 
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Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff responded:
Hello Radu2002 -

We are so sorry to hear you are going through so much, it certainly does sound like you need to have questions answered and your history reviewed.

Please reach out to a professional to help you with your past and also how to manage your relationship with your mother. You may be able to network with one of numbers listed on our crisis assistance link to find out information about some of your specific questions.

Have you been able to get a copy of your medical and hospital records?

Take care and please keep us posted about how you are doing,
Elizabeth
 
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Radu2002 replied to Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff's response:
Thanks for the replies although I don't need anyone to talk with because I'm perfectly content with my life and talking to a random person won't improve my quality of life because it's already good enough.

My questions were directed to people in the medical field who know the answers to them because I couldn't find an answer to them.

I have all of my records but they're extremely flawed and inconsistant. Some of them even have me put as "born in Brazil" when I'm from eastern europe.

I don't need any crisis assistance because I'm not in a crisis. All I wanted was a few of those questions to be answered because I thought that there were doctors on here. Those questions were:

Can a psyciatrist or psychologist prescribe Schizophrenia medication to someone at 12 years old and without a diagnosis?

Can either of the two prescribe medication without a diagnosis?

Can either of the two prescribe based on parental request?

Thanks for replies
 
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niteflier replied to Radu2002's response:
did i read correctly that you are still living with your 'adoptive' abusive mother? it sounds like you have a good job, have you considered moving out away?
Niteflier

Perhaps the Animal Spirit is so great that one day it may inspire compassion in the human heart. Nan Sea Love

 
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Jeune1 replied to Radu2002's response:
Needless to say, medications shouldn't be prescribed based solely on a patient or caretaker's request, ever.

You also say that giving you those medications was illegal in Canada so it sounds like no. (Also, a psychologist can't write scripts.)
 
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MrsDavis716 responded:
Omg! That's horrible! I'm so sorry to hear about your awful childhood. It's good that you've managed to come back from that and do so well for yourself.

As far as your questions. I'm by no means a doctor OR a lawyer, but I can't see how that is in any way legal. I would seek help from a lawyer. Even if you don't want to go forward with any legal action. A lawyer could answer some questions I'm sure. Who else knows the law better then them right?

The best of luck to you!!

Mrs.D.
 
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Anon_24521 replied to Radu2002's response:
Your mother sounds like she is unfit... I dont know what country you live in now, but there are laws against that kind of thing in America. You could probably file a report against her and have her put away now...
I agree, you should probably hire a lawyer.
And at age 21 its really easy to think you have everything figured out, and your really smart etc etc, but you came here asking for advice, and now your telling the folks they didnt give you the right answers.
I just want to point that out.
If you want advice from doctors, thats why these people are referring you to see some one, cause that is where you should be looking for your answers.
Go see a doctor or a lawyer, and since you are in the training field for this, it sounds like you should know a little about it from school, it sounds like you know all the answers to your questions already to be honest...
You should move away from this woman, and try to take advice when you ask for it.
 
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itmatsb replied to Radu2002's response:
You're "perfectly content" living with a woman who "keeps threatening me and telling me she will medicate me". And you have "good enough" "quality of life" living with the abuser who you reference put you through ungodly abuse in the past? Whatever the answers to your questions are, she undoubtedly did illegal things to you, at least in the U.S.

And if you are considering any legal action, you will not have any credibility by the fact that you are still living with the abuser.
 
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Jeune1 replied to itmatsb's response:
Sorry, I'm not sure this all applies to this particular case, but remember that people in abusive situations do experience denial about and/or will downplay their situation. Credibility ... I admit that can be tricky because even within the legal system people will say things like "It can't be THAT bad or you'd leave." However, the laws about abuse don't take into account whether the victim decides to stay with the abuser isn't relevant.
 
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Radu2002 replied to Jeune1's response:
I love how people question my ability to understand the issue and so on. When you're a child you do not understand when something wrong is being done to you. You do not have the life experience to make those decisions (exactly why parents make choices for their children).

I've got a year of school left and I'm going to put up with her til I'm done school for a year to move into a 3000 square foot home with my girlfriend. If I were to leave my house right now I would not be able to afford a home til she is done school. Why would I put my future on hold and screw myself over just so I don't have to put up with her crap? I've managed to put up with it for 21 years, another one and a bit won't hurt if the difference is getting me a 600,000 dollar home in 2 years or renting for 5 years.

Also, why would I lock her up in jail when she had given me a roof, food and so on all of my life? Even though she was unfit I still got most of the basic needs.

I actually might end up getting her into legal trouble over something different regarding my illigal adoption and false identity, but not by choice but because when I go for dual citizenship or to renew my health card which is 21 years old I'll have to provide a proof of name change and birth certificate/DOB which won't add up because they're different than what I go by. I'm not a hurt person looking for revenge. I asked a few questions thinking there were online doctors here but I guess I didn't look into this site enough before posting.

Anyways, my situation is very difficult and it might end with legal trouble even if I don't want it for anybody.
 
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alaska_mommy replied to Radu2002's response:
I'm sorry if you got some flak here, the purpose of this site isn't judgement, it's support.
I think what you really wanted to know was, are these things legal. I think someone suggested checking with a lawyer---that's a good idea. You might also check with your county courthouse, as to local laws about some of this stuff.
I think for all of us here, we can only give you our opinion, because I don't think any of us truly knows the exact laws for your area and can't really say if what your mom did was illegal.
We don't frequently get responses on here from an MD, so for the most part, it's just us laypeople supporting each other through our depression. Hope you can still feel free to talk here!


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