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    Feeling Sorry For Myself, may be a Trigger
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    behapppy118 posted:
    Hello there everyone, I am not feeling depressed but I am beating myself up here thinking. When I am supposed to take a shower, I can't bring myself to do it. How am I supposed to feel good about myself if I can't even get through the day doing something so simple? I just don't feel like I'm good enough for anything.. Kinda mad at myself. Thought I'd post about it, and share my thoughts. Now I realize this isn't something that's just going to go away. How am I supposed to go on in life? Just when I think I'm doing better, I'm not.

    Thanks for listening. Just doing some thinking.



    Thinking of all of you also.
    So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.
    - Stephen Chbosky
    Reply
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    tryingtohideit responded:
    I understand! I do the exact same thing as well. You are most deffinantly not worthless. I dothe same thing alot of the times. knowing that i need a shower or that i need to eat or even just change my clothes. I just cant bring myself to do it. I cant bring myself to get out of bed unless i have to! Dont be mad at yourself. I think everyone with depression does the same thing. I honestly cant tell you before now the last time i have felt the tiniest bit good about myself. But then I did something for me. I am loosing weight. Yesterday when i went to the doctor for something totaly unrelated to weight loss i have lost 30 pounds! Just find something you love to do or have wanted to do and do it. I know that is sooo much easier said than done. It took me 5 years to do this for myself. Just know it does get better and that you are not on your own in how you are feeling.

    Please keep us updated!
     
    avatar
    behapppy118 replied to tryingtohideit's response:
    Thank you for replying and the kind things you said. I haven't thought about this much after I posted it. I am going to see what I can get done today. I am glad to hear you did something for yourself, that's good! Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone, it's nice to hear again and again.

    I haven't seen you around here much so I'm thinking you are new here so welcome!! I read your story and I'm glad you're here! I'm in my early 20's so we are sort of near the same age, which is nice. I hope you agree.

    I hope to hear from you more, this is a great place to share how you're feeling.
    So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.
    - Stephen Chbosky
     
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    tryingtohideit replied to behapppy118's response:
    Yes i am new here. And yes that is great! Anytime I can give a few encouraging words makes me feel good. And was hoping for there to be people here that understood and related to my story some that could give me some good advice as to how to deal with a few things that i am dealing with.
     
    avatar
    niteflier responded:
    Hey BeHappy, hang in there and try not to be so hard on yourself. I do understand as I got through those questions every day. Thank you for sharing as i know that is not easy. are you seeing a counselor/psych? i need to but waiting on a day that i can make it to their office. hang on to your thoughts o of getting better. unfortunately we are just on a cruel rollercoaster ride that i am sure everyone here wish they could disembark. always easier said than done and i hope you know things that others take for granted (i.e. taking a bath/shower) we struggle with - and it is not our fault, it unfortunately just is. you are a good person and have helped many in this room so don't cut yourself short.
    sending lots of ((((hugs)))) and love your way. please keep us posted.
    Niteflier

    Perhaps the Animal Spirit is so great that one day it may inspire compassion in the human heart. Nan Sea Love

     
    avatar
    Anubis66 responded:
    I kind of had a bad day too. Didn't do very much then felt guilty about it. I keep telling myself I should feel better by now but I don't. Beating myself up for feeling down. Recovering from major depression is a long road and I have to be more patient and kind to myself. Hope you all have better days ahead.

    Jeff
     
    avatar
    behapppy118 replied to niteflier's response:
    Hello Niteflier,

    Yes, I am seeing a counselor. I know what that's like, I go through the same thing. Take it easy - get there when you can. I have to try and remember that it is not our fault. (makes it somewhat easier) Just start over tommorow if things don't go so well.
    Thank you for your reply and the love and hugs. I hear from others that I am a good person, but for some reason, it never sits well with me.. Guess that's just how it is.
    Anyway, sending you some love and hugs as well! Hope you're doing ok.
    So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.
    - Stephen Chbosky
     
    avatar
    behapppy118 replied to Anubis66's response:
    Sorry to hear you had a bad day. I do the same thing sometimes it's hard not to beat yourself up when your down when everyone else around you seems like they're ok.
    Thank you for being here, hoping you have a better day.
    So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.
    - Stephen Chbosky
     
    avatar
    alaska_mommy replied to Anubis66's response:
    Hi Jeff, I'm sorry you're having a rough patch still. I hope it gets better!
    BeHappy, how are you doing lately? Hope you're feeling better.
     
    avatar
    behapppy118 replied to alaska_mommy's response:
    Hello Alaska Mommy,

    I am doing better lately. Things have their way of working out. Thank you for asking! Trying to think on the positive side, thinking differently about things.

    I read your recent post. Hoping that means things are ok!
    So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.
    - Stephen Chbosky
     
    avatar
    alaska_mommy replied to behapppy118's response:
    Hi BeHappy, I'm glad you are doing better. That's good news!

    I'm feeling down today. I've been so irritable lately and I feel sorry for my husband. And I can't take a higher dose of Wellbutrin because it makes my heart race. Grr...I talk to my PCP on the 7th and it seems far away. I just have to keep it together till then!
     
    avatar
    behapppy118 replied to alaska_mommy's response:
    Sorry to hear you're feeling down.. You'll find the strength to keep it together.
    So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.
    - Stephen Chbosky
     
    avatar
    alaska_mommy replied to behapppy118's response:
    Thanks BeHappy, I'm sure I will.
    How are you faring today?
     
    avatar
    behapppy118 replied to alaska_mommy's response:
    I am doing well today - so far! Thanks for asking.

    How are you doing today?
    So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.
    - Stephen Chbosky
     
    avatar
    chez1 replied to behapppy118's response:
    Hi BeHappy
    Sorry I haven't been around, good to see you are doing well today, hope it sticks
    Take care & hugs
    Chez x
    People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily....... Zig Ziglar


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