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niteflier posted:
Hey all, sorry i have not been around, nor have not been any help to anyone. i try to pull positive thoughts out - but all i feel is nausous. this wont be an uplifting post so if you are feeling down please don't read,


i just need to type. my better half is close to being bed ridden at the age of 58. they do not know what is wrong with them, will not go to the doctors and all i can do is help them in and out of bed and take a bath - at this point i cant even get them to eat. i am afraid of losing them - i'm not sure the love for my family is strong enough to move forward. most here know i sh and have strong feelings to do now, but have not. they have been depressed for the last 3 years after their father died - they take medication for it, but it is not helping. my back is not strong enough to catch them (i have nerve damage in my back) when they fall (litterally pass out), i try hold them up, but we both end up on the floor.
if i call their dr. their dr. may not talk to me. if dr. does talk to me, my betterhalf will never talk to me again. if i don't try to talk to their dr. i feel they will not live much longer. either way i will lose them. i plan to call their dr. tomorrow and start getting my things in order. i'm a bit of a hoarder - time to throw the chit out. i don't want them to leave me, but i don't want them to die either. i have given this some thought for months (too long) and know this is the right thing to do. even if the dr. does talk to me - i cannot force them to go to the drs. i have had some lows before, but this is by far the lowest i have hit. - selfish i know ... its not about me it is about them......i am just so tired and fear the 24 years together is coming to an end.
chez, i wont go back and re-read this as you have told me time and time again to just post and see how things fall.
no responses needed i just needed to think on this a bit.
Niteflier

Perhaps the Animal Spirit is so great that one day it may inspire compassion in the human heart. Nan Sea Love

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niteflier responded:
Hey all..sorry, last TIGGER ....................................................
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there is one explaination to their problems and i don't know how i missed all the signs. Their father passed away with ALS 2 years ago. I am not sure when, but they have been showing all the signs of ALS. I just wanted to say I am going to sign off. I need to concentrate on them. If I am correct - statistics show a lifetime of 2 - 5 years after being officially diagnosed. It has been at least 3 years since they have started showing signs. Her father, once diagnosed, passed within 1 year. woulda/shoulda/coulda - wish i would not have let my depression consume me. No more.

Thank you all for your help and support. Life moves fast - if your not paying attention - it will pass you by.

Please stay safe and take care of one another.

I love you all (((((HUGs)))))))
Niteflier

Perhaps the Animal Spirit is so great that one day it may inspire compassion in the human heart. Nan Sea Love

 
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Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff replied to niteflier's response:
Hi Niteflier -

Please know you are not responsible for the health and well-being of those around you, especially if they are not working to help themselves. It is selfish of them to expect you to care for them when they will not go to the doctor and find out what's going on.

I am glad you are reaching out and posting. I am proud of you and hope this is a way to vent and keep yourself safe.

I hope you got a good night's sleep,
Elizabeth
 
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chez1 responded:
hi nf
just want you to know i/we are hete for you.
let us know if you got a chance to speak to your bh dr, i know over here they take on concerns from friends and family.
also, as elizabeth said, you cant take responsibility for their health and choices, you can encourage and hope they seek advice andthen simply be there for them.
i am so proud of you for posting, keep it up and let us carry some of your burdens for a bit
love and hugs
chez x
People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily....... Zig Ziglar


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